A pair of Chilean Rose tarantulas were found separately in backyards in northern Britain recently, and people are getting nervous. So what's the big deal about a couple of furry spiders? They spit hairs into people's eyes and blind them.

Since 1945, 20 British babies have been named Adolf. In the 60's, five were named Ringo.

Private juvenile jails in Britain use a guide called Physical Control in Care for handling troublemakers: "Drive fingers into groin," or "alternate elbow strikes to the young person's ribs," or "drive straight fingers into the young person's face." Ouch. [Observer]

"Flushers" from Thames Water are trying to clear out an estimated 1,000 tons of cooking fat from sewers beneath London's Leicester Square, thanks to local restaurants committing "sewer abuse" — dumping anything other than water, feces or toilet paper.

After nearly a week the nationwide manhunt for killer Raoul Moat in Britain ended today. Police cornered Moat, shot him with a taser, and he then shot and killed himself. Moat had shot his ex-girlfriend and two others. [Independent; Getty]

After more than 200 years, Britain is officially abandoning the national census.

The good news: The British Supreme Court has voted to overturn a discretion test that barred asylum protection for persecuted gay folks. The bad news: Obnoxious stereotypes are still alive and well in Britain. For one judge, at least.

[Queen Elizabeth II, visiting Canada today, goes on a tour of the RIM Blackberry factory. Also today, Buckingham Palace released figures stating that the monarchy's upkeep cost $57.8 million, or 94 cents from each citizen, over the last year. Getty]

Congrats, America. We all may be fat, but we're also home to Lizzie Velasquez, the Texas woman who weighs only 60 pounds and must eat every 15 minutes to stay alive thanks to a rare condition she's had since birth.

Last night, Stephen Colbert opened the Report with a funny-as-hell segment about the United States' strained relationship with England due to BP's oil spill—and he brought up the World Cup match as often as possible, natch. Video inside.

The 2010 World Cup is here! Okay, so Americans couldn't care less about soccer, but the rest of the world is excited: Brits are ditching work, South Africa has cleaned up, and Somalis are watching their necks, literally.

This fellow, protesting somewhere (his backyard?), has an idea, and with a few more back-of-the-envelope calculations, it should be a full-blown theory. [via Buzzfeed]

Police in the West African nation The Gambia seized a two ton stash of cocaine, valued at $1 billion, and called in agents from Britain's Serious Organised Crime Agency for help with the investigation. Somewhere, Amy Winehouse is crying. [BBC]

We knew the Brits were economically fucked, but we didn't know just how economically fucked. The prime minister says huge cutbacks must be made to mitigate potential "decades" of financial peril. Do you have any ideas for them?

British Secretary of the Treasury David Laws resigned yesterday after it was revealed he expensed $57,000 to cover rent for his boyfriend. Meh. If this had happened in America, Laws would also be an outspoken anti-gay crusader. [Telegraph]

A Welsh man wanted to enjoy a frozen pizza from ASDA (a British supermarket chain) one night, but discovered that there was "absolutely no topping" on it. So, he called to complain. The end of the call? Priceless. Audio inside.

The British press like to make terrible jokes about a potential gay relationship between new Prime Minister David Cameron and his coalition partner, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. This picture placement, in The Namibian newspaper, will not help. [Greg Mitchell]

David Walliams is one extremely elegant lady. He's also one half of Little Britain, a sketch show that takes a look into a magical land where fries are called chips and the term fanny does not refer to the buttocks.

Tonight, Jon Stewart aired his final "Clustershag to 10 Downing" segment related to the British prime minister election and subsequent transfer of power, and reveled in the hilariously brutal details of outgoing PM Gordon Brown's final, humiliating moments. Video inside.