He's our first president, he could not tell a lie, and he's Britain's greatest ever foe. Yes, George Washington has had this dubious honor bestowed on him by the National Army Museum. Washington beat out such notable adversaries as Michael Collins and Napoleon Bonaparte. I guess now would be the appropriate time to start a "U.S.A.!" chant?
It was announced Friday that private clinics in Britain would be allowed to advertise their planning services, including abortion, on British television starting April 30. It's a right that, until yesterday, had existed only for non-profit clinics.
Sure, dating an investment banker seems nice. He's rich! He dresses well! So what if he's married? He takes you out on his boat! And then he follows you to London, breaks into your apartment, steals candlesticks, pretends to be an Israeli secret agent, and puts a tracking device in your bag.
The Economist ran a fascinating (and popular) poll of British readers, asking which "Americanisms" they use. Many, it turns out, have taken to saying "apartment" instead of "flat" and "sidewalk" instead of "pavement." So let's flip it around: Which dreadful Americanisms would you trade for something from the mother country?
Here is a striking example of how detached from reality British authorities' post-riot social media crackdown is. The cop in charge of their social media efforts suggested that Twitter could force people to use their real names on the service. Has he ever been on Twitter?
The Isle of Wight, a popular British beach destination, is about to open a third prison. Once that happens, the Isle will house 1,500 inmates, almost all of whom are convicted sex offenders. What says rest and relaxation more than prisons teeming with pedophiles and rapists?
A British man was released on bail today after he was busted trying to break into Facebook. According to the authorities, he allegedly "secured access" to Facebook servers repeatedly. So how close did he get to taking control of the social network's 700 million accounts?
Nationwide civil unrest hasn't come full circle until racist fringe groups come out to point fingers and promote xenophobic vigilantism. And that's where the English Defence League comes in! The group was all set to march on the streets of Telford this weekend in order "to address the threat posed by Muslim child-grooming gangs." Oh, but the British Home Secretary Theresa May today said, "It is clear that a ban is needed to ensure communities and property are protected."
The British Home Secretary will meet with the companies behind Twitter and BlackBerry to discuss whether they can help curb the nation's riots. It was only a few months ago that cracking down on social networks was considered the province of despots. Now the British government is making it sound like an essential step for safety.
Iranian government officials are loving the riots in Britain. In a flurry of statements over the last couple of days, lawmakers have attacked the police response and said they'd like to send human rights observers to London to keep an eye on events there. Iran's Majlis are even thinking about closing the British embassy in Tehran.
The high price of a pint of beer in Britain is a pretty hot issue. Through extensive research, we recently concluded that many Britons were switching to cocaine because it's more affordable. Now, to take advantage of new tax breaks, breweries are developing weaker beers — and taste testers seem to like them! The Independent reports on some promising poll results:
During a Daily Show segment about the News of the World phone hacking scandal on July 20, Jon Stewart included footage of Britain's parliament. But when the show aired in the U.K. last week, the segment was absent, apparently due to a law that prevents the airing of parliamentary proceedings in a satirical context. Stewart didn't appreciate the censorship, and he took to tonight's program to air his grievances.
The Daily Mail has a story today that will change your perception of the stuffy old Tower of London forever. Major General Keith Cima, who was fired as governor of the Tower in December, is blowing the lid off a sophicticated ring of Beefeaters who grow weed and rent Tower rooms out to "young female tourists." They also incessantly harassed the first ever female Beefeater, Moira Cameron. In a statement to the London Central Employment Tribunal, Cima had this to say about the place while he was in charge:
The Telegraph today reports that beer sales in Britain have dropped 9.8 percent between April and June of this year, and the same time last year. That's the biggest dip in sales in 14 years. So, why are beer sales plummeting? The paper assigns blame to the outrageous taxes imposed on brewers, a 35.4 percent rise in duties since March 2008, but it failed to include another factor — cocaine has never been cheaper!
News Corporation CEO Rupert Murdoch arrived a few hours early at the Houses of Parliament to face questioning over his tabloid phone-hacking scandal, but his driver quickly drive off after being mobbed by photographers. In one of the pictures we're not so sure he's even alive. Have a quick look while you gear up for today's main event.
