Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), so close to having his soon-to-be ex-wife declared a bigamist in open court, was foiled this week by the unlikeliest of opponents: a leaky breast implant.

A Québec porn star has agreed to host a "sex marathon" on the condition that the company filming it will pay for her new boobs. The objectif of Zoe Zebra's boule-o-thon, the first boule-0-thon in the entire monde, is pretty straightforward: "25 ejaculations!"

A Suffolk, U.K. woman says she had her breasts enhanced from an A to a G cup because her discomfort with them got in the way of raising her two-year-old son. Now that she has her implants, she's basically the mum of the year.

Implant cancer! Brain melting! Autism vaccines! Big tumor! Drug users! Chimera monkeys! Face transplants! Yoga danger! And the future of your baby, made clear! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but not for long!

A 63-page report from the Food and Drug Administration entitled, "FDA Update on the Safety of Silicone Gel-Filled Breast Implants," has concluded that silicone implants, removed from the market in 1992 amid leakage concerns, are relatively safe. However, one out of five patients will have to have them removed within ten years due to complications associated with "rupture, wrinkling, asymmetry, scarring, pain, and infection." The study also notes a "very small" increased risk of lymphoma. Sexy!

A woman was arrested in New York on Friday for illegally injecting women with silicone "for breast and buttocks enhancement," and she even charged one customer $1,000 who "fainted within hours of the procedure." [Business Insider]

Debrahlee Lorenzana—the banker who says Citibank fired her for being too hot—made a documentary (infomercial?) about getting a second boob job at age 26: "I want to look like a Playboy playmate." Her goal: marrying rich. Updated.

A supermodel says she's "praying over Kate's boobs." Spencer Pratt says they're still too small. Everyone's got an opinion on Kate Hudson's boobs—but are they really fake? Or is she pregnant? An photographic investigation featuring celebrity witness testimony.

Heaving, bulbous bosoms—of doom. That is what America and, indeed, the world is facing, in the alternate universe where terrorists with plastic explosive breast implants threaten airline safety. Also, butt bomb implants. Please let this be real.

Hot thing for 2010: Tattoos with breast implants. Get yours now before they're cool!

explaining how she balances being a beauty queen and a crusader for the Lord, in an interview with Christianity Today.

What does one do with bubbies? Does one shake them and quake them and hopefully not break them? Or do they just dangle and bulge, like boats or balloons? We sought to find the answers to these questions last night.

Let's keep it real: No one is ever over high school. Even if you had friends and seemed cool, you were secretly miserable and insecure. (Projecting!) Cheerleaders at my high school didn't actually care enough about me to be mean, but still, what bitches. Anyway, the captain of the West Boca High varsity cheerleader squad died of complications from breast implants on Saturday. There's so much about this story to hate on, but still, dying at 18. That's just terrible. [Palm Beach Post]