A college-aged man was shot at Harvard just before 5 p.m. Monday. He lived. Two to three suspected assailants remain at large.

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—the most powerful man in food, in his own way—is leaving the restaurant beat to become a writer-at-large for the NYT magazine. This memo just went out:

Everyone has stopped caring about the Swine Flu, except at still-publishing O.G. alt-weekly The Village Voice, where an intern was just diagnosed with it!

Ok, wait, no jokes: Wesleyan University is in lockdown as cops conduct a manhunt for a killer who shot his ex, a student, at a campus bookstore.

Breaking police radio news: "Queens. Loose cow. 103 Precinct. 109 Avenue. E.S.U. reporting a loose cow at the location." Call the horse cops!

Queen of the USA Oprah gave out coupons to the whole world for a free KFC lunch today. And guess what: As we speak, there are Riots and Sit-Ins and Furor at KFC. BREAKING:

Kari Ferrell tells Animal NY's Bucky Turco she's being taken in by police in Philadelphia. She was apparently able to use her iPhone while in custody.

Dome blew over. No one dead. Also: Not Really Breaking. It happened yesterday. See comments. [NYT]

A member of Barack Obama's security detail has contracted a suspected case of the swine flu—this outbreak has Barack "The Typhoid President" Obama's fingerprints all over it.

Republican Senator Arlen Specter is switching parties, upping the Democratic majority to a filibuster-busting 60.

A 6.0 now revised to 5.6 magnitude earthquake has hit swine-flu ravaged Mexico City.

Writer Keith Gessen was reportedly detained (and released -Update) by a 15-person Russian special forces unit after investigating election tampering in Sochi, a Black Sea resort city hosting the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Peter Kaplan, the longtime editor of the New York Observer, is resigning from the paper on June 1. To spend more time with his family, he says.

NBC News is reporting that three pirates simultaneously popped their heads out of their lifeboat and were taken out by Navy sharpshooters from the U.S.S. Bainbridge.

A little before noon this morning, the New York Times' web site appeared to be going through some catastrophic hiccups. It comes up every third try or so on some computers at Gawker HQ, but here's what we've been getting:

Rachel Maddow, who basically everyone wants to hang out with, lost one of her "mentioned by every damn interviewer" quirks recently, when she got drunk and bought a TV.

Actress Natasha Richardson passed away in a New York hospital following complications from the brain injury she incurred while skiing, according to a statement released by her family. She was 45.

Liam Neeson's wife, the actress Natasha Richardson, injured herself skiing in Canada and suffered a "traumatic brain injury," reports IrishCentral.com, citing a Montreal "hospital insider."

Radio-talking Marlboro Man doppelganger Don Imus, a famous racist, has cancer. He announced it on his show this morning:

After spending just one night in jail, Bernie Madoff wants out. His lawyers will appeal the decision to revoke his bail while he waits to be sentenced for running a Ponzi scheme.