Though your modern media is faced with the demands of covering wars, terrorism, a presidential election, and Pokemon, please trust that we, the hardworking American journalists, will never fail to inform you about the latest trends in hot teen bra usage—or lack thereof.

NBC News reports that an underwire bra may have saved a German woman from serious injury this week when it stopped a hunter’s ricocheting bullet.

Yesterday morning—while you were surely doing something productive like your daily calisthenics—a couple of crooks pulled off an unusual heist: they stole $8,000 in bras.

Japanese lingerie maker Wacoal has a surprise in store for folks who think their latest ad is just another cute face in a 'boost-up' bra.

Does the layabout "Millennial" generation, composed primarily of— not to engage in reductive stereotyping—greedy little sellouts, have any redeeming qualities whatsoever? Perhaps.

Across the course of history, French discoveries have proved invaluable to the field of science. Children still learn the stories of Louis Pasteur, who discovered that invisibly small bacteria spoil food and cause disease, and Marie Curie, who found and named the unseen power of radioactivity. Now there's one more name to add to the list of geniuses upending the world's assumptions: Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, who has declared that bras make women's boobs saggy.

Ladies, rejoice: Alexander Farennikov, a Los Angeles engineer and innovator of frivolous whimsies, has invented a bra dryer. "What is a bra dryer?" you ask. Well, it's basically a boob-shaped blow dryer, something you've always wanted.

The history of lingerie is being rewritten, all because a couple freak-nasty archaeologists were rooting around in some hang-loose Austrian gals' trash.

Watching this ad for a "Chinese boob clamp" that is actually just a corset (Although maybe corsets should be called woman clamps?) I find myself entranced by the recurring image of breasts mushing together, then falling back apart. Faces lighting up with joy, then hanging with shame. Is this what it's like to be a straight man?

Have you heard about that vibrating bra that supposedly makes your breasts larger? Ellen tries it out and uncomfortably describes the "jiggling" to everyone. Enjoy!

[Adriana Lima models Victoria's Secret's "$2 Million Bombshell Fantasy Bra," an undergarment containing 60 carats of white diamonds and 82 carats of topaz and sapphire. This is Victoria's Secret being recession-friendly; 2008's "Fantasy Bra" was worth $5 million. More inside.]

Japan, the land of completely normal things, has invented a bra that's also a small rice farm. Bra manufacturer Triumph has created the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder because "young Japanese women have taken a tremendous interest in agriculture." Suddenly, so have the men!

Chest support theft report! Victoria's Secret is known as a BRA store, but is it also a ROB store? Long Island mom of four Katerina Plew says VS gave her the screw after they refused to meet with her about her idea for a new convertible bra, then ripped her off after the tipoff! The company's Very Sexy 100-way strapless convertible bra is really her own patented design, sez Plew—who sued! Now there's a legal meetup over the regal C-cup, cause the inventive mother is offended, brother. The two sides are taking their strapless tort back to court. It's a nuclear showdown on this brassiere throwdown! After the jump, compare Plew's patent plans with Victoria's Secret's own product: great minds think alike, or a thief in the night?

We mentioned that the ad campaign for the revolutionary new backless bra came with a promise from the male ad execs to model the product themselves. But we didn't think that such a spectacle would ever come to pass. We were wrong. After the jump, three pictures [via Adrants] of the male VIA advertising team striking thoughtful poses in bras. Jesus Christ.

That ABC show "American Inventor" has, stunningly, produced a real, breakthrough product: the backless bra. No longer will women be forced to suffer the tyranny of an encircling bra strap! Maidenform is now selling the product, which originated as a finalist entry on the show, for $25. And soon, the company will be launching a big ad campaign for the bra, which includes a promise from the (male) ad executives to model it upon request [Adrants]. Something for kinks of every stripe! After countless generations of embarrassing fumbling by men and chafing upon women's backs, this campaign would have to be terrible for the product not to be a wild success. Below, a clip of the heroic inventor, Elaine Cato, demonstrating her humanitarian idea on the show last year.

Add to this the favorite fact of human resource managers everywhere: this is the first time in history that four generations — those who lived through World War II, Baby Boomers, Generation X and Generation Y — are together in the workplace.
Managers tell stories of summer associates who come to meetings with midriffs exposed, baring a belly ring; of interns who walk through the halls engaged with iPods; of new hires who explain they need Fridays off because their boyfriends get Fridays off and they have a share in a beach house. Then there is the tale of the summer hire who sent a text message to a senior partner asking "Are bras required as part of the dress code?"