Justin Bieber locks a C.S.I. producer in a closet and punches a cake. David Beckham crashes his car. And Eva Longoria throws a waterproof baby shower. Sunday gossip is going to call its mom right after this, it promises.
Alex Pettyfer's crotch tattoo says thank you, "in case I forget to say it." Blake Lively is a literal trainwreck. A Jersey Shore star is pregnant. Mariska Hargitay sues her talent agency. Thursday gossip is cocky.
Aguilera was a sexy cop for Halloween. Paris Hilton and Rachel Zoe were sexy Native Americans. Fearing his client's impending death, Charlie Sheen's manager makes a home visit. Portia de Rossi once weighed 82 lbs. Monday's gossip roundup needs candy.
David Arquette's rumored mistress is a bar brawling Hollywood mean girl. Courteney Cox ditches her wedding ring. Minka Kelly's mother was a stripper. Al Franken makes an airport security joke. Tuesday gossip sneaks into your bed and steals your husband.
Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.
Paris Hilton's mans and ex-mans got into a fight and hopefully punched each other in the face. Adam Lambert and Ke$ha sucked face. Susan Sarandon got puked on by a tranny. Hillary Duff: engaged. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis—oil scion and brother of starfucker Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis—got in a red carpet screaming match with his granny. He also retained Gloria Allred over a family drug intervention. Will 2010 be the Year of Gummi?
Looks like has-bian Lindsay Lohan has made the switch again—this time for a famous man. Also are Jude and Sienna back together? Is Mischa back on the sauce? Is Piven growing man boobs? Questions answered in Tuesday's gossip.
• Rihanna has a new album to promote, which explains why she's suddenly breaking her silence about the personal troubles she's faced over the past year. She addresses the Chris Brown incident in an interview in the current issue of Glamour. And she'll discuss it again on Thursday when she sits down to an interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America. [People, Sun, Glamour]
• Related: Rihanna attended Mariah Carey's Halloween party the other night, but the two divas refused to exchange a word. [P6]
• Kate Hudson says she quit drinking to get ready for a film role (and not because she's pregnant). She also says the diamond ring she's been wearing is not because she's engaged to A-Rod. (She says she isn't.) [P6]
Megan Fox has super special sexual powers. Avril Lagine's love-life is "komplicayted," or however she spells it. Jon Gosselin is still around. Justin Timberlake's a funny drunk. Babies, rappers, Yokos, McSteamies, and more! Presenting your Rosh Hashana Morning Gossip Roundup.
• Last week Bette Midler was handing out dating tips to Jennifer Aniston. This week she's rolling with 50 Cent. Not only have the two become "unlikely best friends," but Bette says 50 has "really made my life worth living," and has been by her side "through thick and thin." She'd even like to sing backup on one of his new songs, too. Also? She's totally lost it, clearly. [NYDN]
• Speaking of Aniston, she's supposedly taking a little break right now due to "exhaustion." [Sun]
• The woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen says her ex made the whole thing up so he'd get "big money" from the singer to stay quiet. [People]
• Hilary Rhoda is reportedly dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly hospitalized for the third time in as many months on Tuesday, although she's since been released. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton's reps have been asking event planners in Cannes for $100,000 appearance fees. Sadly, Paris isn't having much luck getting them to go along since, well, "it's not 2002." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says she's worried about the health of the surrogate mom carrying her twins, since tabloid reporters have been harassing the poor girl and trying to hack into her computer. [People, LAT]
• A documentary about Amy Winehouse is reportedly in the works. Should be entertaining! [People]
• Katie Holmes showed up with Suri at last night's American Idol finale. This is good news since it means Tom finally let her out of the house. [Us]
• Angelina Jolie was seen apartment hunting in Washington Heights. This comes weeks after Angie and Brad signed the lease on a $100,000-a-month home on Long Island. [Us, NYP]
• Michael Phelps has been hanging out at strip clubs, since it's the only place he can go without having his photo being taken. Good thinking. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan showed up to a party at Southern Hospitality on Sunday so she could hang out with Chace Crawford. But then he ditched her and she spent the rest of the night "glued" to model May Andersen. [OK!, P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says the next Sex and the City movie will have to be more recession-friendly. You think? [Us]
♦ Is Kate Hudson trying to steal Alex Rodriguez away from Madonna? She was spotted with her "arms completely wrapped around" him at a party in Miami this weekend. But she might just be trying to steal Jason Statham away from his girlfriend, since the two were seen downing dirty martinis together. [NYDN, P6]
♦ A PETA activist pelted Lindsay Lohan with a bag of flour at an event in Paris on Saturday. Sam Ronson responded by dissing the activist on MySpace: "My dog is far more civilized than that person." [People]
♦ Kanye West was arrested in London on Friday after an altercation with a photographer. Now he's suggesting the entire episode was "bogus," and has upset some Brits by comparing himself to Princess Di. [People, The Sun]
♦ Sarah Palin may collect a $7 million advance if she writes a book. [MSNBC]
♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]
♦ It seems like sending out company-wide emails ripping your co-workers is not a good idea: Pat O'Brien has been fired from The Insider. [R&M, P6]
♦ Brandon Davis has been conning his friends out of cash, but whenever anyone tries to get the money back "he starts crying and gets them to feel bad for him." [P6]
♦ Poor Ivana Trump almost had to fly coach this week. But then someone in first class switched seats, so everything turned out okay. Phew. [P6]
♦ Heather Mills is suing her former publicist—the one who very publicly dumped her and called her a "witch"—for libel. [P6]
♦ Anne Hathaway's been crashing on her parents' couch ever since she got booted from Raffaello Follieri's duplex. [In Touch]
Michelle Williams going on a coffee run in Brooklyn with her mom Carla and daughter Matilda ... Aretha Franklin waving to fans on her way out of a Midtown hotel ... ... Katie Holmes and Suri going to a paint-your-own-pottery shop on the Upper East Side ... America Ferrera getting out of a limo on the set of Ugly Betty ... Brandon Davis standing on the sidewalk and talking on his cell .... Taylor Hicks signing autographs outside his Broadway show ... Gisele Bundchen heading into Spa Belles ... and the cast of The Real World: Brooklyn on St. Mark's Place.
