Sure, the fourth "Web Trend Map" from branding firm Information Architects is a nifty piece of graphic design. But that's not what makes it viral.

Time to hear more about Peter Arnell! Turns out the pistol-packing 'branding' wizard truly screwed Tropicana with his (momentary) redesign of their juice cartons. He's also traumatized his employees, we hear (again):

You may not know Peter Arnell, but you know his work. The crazy Pepsi-is-the-center-of-the-universe logo design! The awful failure of the new Tropicana design! But what's the man himself like? Massively insecure, of course:

Steve Stoute thinks Chris Brown can totally get past this whole "beating his girlfriend, Rihanna" thing and start endorsing products again. Just like he used to do for Soute!

Lindsay Lohan is having money trouble, at least according to unnamed friends of the starlet who tell the Daily News today that Lindsay is "living on credit right now" since "she has no cash," and is supporting herself thanks to Sam Ronson. Her financial predicament isn't because she's turning down cheesy commercials (as this Italian spot makes clear), or because she has any issue with slapping her name on any number of products, like leggings or spray-on tanner. Just in case that isn't clear, look no further than former nightlife promoter-turned-entertainment marketer Mike Heller, who was profiled over the weekend in amNew York and who has been working with Lohan to "exploit" her "brand."

Europeans just love Barack Obama, since he's not constantly calling them names and touching them inappropriately like his predecessor. So the Germans named some terrible fried chicken product after him, as an homage.

It's true: Barack Obama's new logo, to be stamped on all stimulus-funded projects, is "less fascist" than the militaristic New Deal logos of the 1930s. Our Stalinist dictator must present a hippie front!

Shocker: PepsiCo hired the profound geniuses behind the Breathtaking, universe-shifting multimillion-dollar tweaking of the Pepsi logo to redesign Tropicana's packaging. It was a complete and utter failure! Yet another reason "rebranding" is dumb:

President Change's message of fresh hope sounds like just about every new-and-improved TV commercial. No surprise, marketers are jumping on the Barack bandwagon. But now the feds have cracked down on Obama-branded schwag.

Last year Pepsi spent several hundred million dollars on a new logo. Everyone figured they had just ripped off the Obama logo. But now an internal document from the branding company has surfaced: Breathtaking bullshit.

Rasta don't work for no CIA. But Bob Marley now works for a private equity firm.

"American Boy" singer Estelle probably went into music for some soulful reason, but now you have to wonder, if it's all just Crystal Light commercials, why should anyone go into music at all?

Every celebrity believes that if they unleash their genius unto the world in the form of a fashion line or fragrance, their many fans will make it a natural hit. They're so wrong.

Barack Obama's inauguration will be a blessed, historic event. Also, a catalyst for liberal self-caricature, starting with $4 latte-sippers watching the ceremonies in coastal Starbucks cafes. On which network?

Capitalizing on Herman Rosenblat's infamy, a small upstate publisher eagerly trumpeted its "serious discussion" to publish Rosenblat's fake memoir as fiction. Or "to pull a Frey," in industry lingo.

One of the biggest brand-called-you practitioners is calling the whole notion into question. Tech pundit Sarah Lacy publishes in four or five media and wonders what the point is.

"We just thought, let’s try and figure out a fun brand we could put behind some of these casual games." [Times]

Oh God SHUT UP: Your company/industry/economy did not fail because of a "perfect storm," a chance, disastrous combination of outside events. It failed because you sucked!

Did you happen to catch Barack Obama's weekly camboy YouTube this Thanksgiving? Earnest and adorable as ever, the Office of the President Elect was unsubtle in its marketing; the word "new" appeared seven times in its 600-word speech on the economy, including two prominent instances of what appears to be the Obama administration's new catchphrase: "New Beginning." It looks like we have the much-awaited replacement term for "stimulus," "bailout" and "recovery package," all of which are despised by voters.

You know what's really important to up-and-coming young entrepreneurs these days? What you wear! More important than, for example, economics. This is why older people run all the real businesses, while younger people spend their time talking to WSJ columnists for unintentionally hilarious and depressing features on how kids avoid going "corporate" by buying the correct name brands. Is your CEO "urban" or a "surfer?"