With the inevitable recession-inspired legalization of marijuana in mind, Print magazine asked some design shops to propose packaging ideas for legal weed. And they agreed, because they love drugs! Click through for a good one, and a bad one.

There are so many great things about Don Draper, but let's just choose one: his product pitches are so evocative. His vision and lyrical description imbues every product not only with a sense of luxury but a sense of necessity.

Condé Nast editors used to be too fancy to bother with the grubby Web; they dumped all their content onto online junkyards. Greed and petty jealousy, though, have turned them into true believers, and they want their "websites" now, please.

Noted social media evangelist MC Hammer "wrote" an op-ed for Adweek today called "It's Twitter Time." In this op-ed he "wrote," Hammer included this paragraph, which "he" "wrote":

What to call the Nigerian joint venture with Russia's Gazprom, hmmm? Hmm. "Nigaz." That's an even worse faux pas than Gazprom's Ukrainian joint venture, "VladimirPutinIsAnEvilFucker." [Post your own joint ventures in the comments!]

Maxim recently folded its UK print version, and it's facing the horrific specter of a world with no cigarette ads. Times are tough. So they're coming out with yet another brand spinoff! It's a full-blown trend now:

Perez Hilton is launching a new website, his advertising agent reports, to "focus on longer-form, more advertiser-friendly content." Meaning, presumably, that the celebrity gossip can finally unleash his fearsome intellect.

Why did Starbucks decide to sponsor MSNBC's Morning Joe? To "promote its ethical commitments." Whatever that bullshit means. One human-like online Starbucks advocate supports them strongly!:

The Wall Street Journal is fronting its new "Speakeasy" website with perhaps the sultriest headcut it has ever run, a stipple portrait of hotshot young reporter Rebecca Dana. At least the paper nailed one part of it's blogging strategy!

In a shocking breach of the integrity (ahem) his fans have come to depend upon, it turns out Perez Hilton might not have phallically doodled on celebrity pictures alone. He uses one or more ghost writer/sploogers. And he might have been a secret.

New York City, which is broke, of course, is selling off naming rights for its city parks. For mere millions! Using sociogeographical insight and imaginary marketing expertise, we have compiled a list of exactly who should buy these rights for a half-dozen parks. Read it and argue:

Pussy™ Energy Drink: "Pussy is a 100% natural drink. No nasty chemicals and nothing manufactured."Pussy is Jonnie Shearer's vision. He set up from his bedroom at 21 and launched in June 2004." You can't go wrong, copywriting-wise. Pussy's not available in America, sadly. [Here, via Copyranter]

On Thursday Microsoft unveiled Bing, its new search engine thingie. They're hoping that before long you'll forget how to "Google it" and will instead "Bing it." Unfortunately we think the name reminds us mostly of Sopranos strippers and the guy who knocked up Elizabeth Hurley. Microsoft FAIL!

Vice Magazine is trying to be the coolest magazine in the world and, simultaneously, the biggest bunch of sellouts ever to walk the streets of Williamsburg, in an effort to see if it's actually possible to bend over backwards far enough to give a blowjob to oneself.

The mighty Snuggie has come under assault from the doppelgangerish Slanket, the hipsterish Sealpelt, the alien mommyish Peekaru, and the camperish Lippi Selk bag. What do all these products lack? That's right: they don't look like togas. No more—the Wearable Towel is here!

The Way We Live Now: With the shame of the defeated. We're too dumb to even figure out how to make our biggest companies go bankrupt properly. But we will obstinately stand on the power of our "luxury" brands until they sink in the financial muck and drown us, triumphantly!

Herman Rosenblat's touching story about reuniting with a holocaust survivor years after the war ended was a sham. Among the conned: the NY Post, Oprah, publishers. Now alchemized into fiction, the tale's finally going public.

Here's Burger King ad wizard Alex Bogusky's idea for "Rebranding America" which, honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about yet. Is it great? Please advise. There is another one that is, unequivocally, gross:

You might remember Peter Arnell from his embarrassing rebrandings of Pepsi and Tropicana, or maybe for being an evil, foot-rub demanding boss. Now the branding wizard owes HarperCollins $100,000, for sucking, at books.

Yes, the Kari Ferrell thing looked like it was getting played out, but a tipster snapped this poster at "a thing in Williamsburg on Friday night." A good grifter is always on the comeback!