BP today will cement the top of the Gulf oil well after the "static kill" succeeded in stopping the oil flow. And reports now say the spill was not as bad as originally thought. Great! No harm no foul, right?

Good news on the oil spill front! Not only is BP's "static kill" tactic apparently working, there's a new report from the U.S. government saying that the oil in the Gulf of Mexico "poses only a slight risk." Huzzah!

The newest figures on the size of the BP oil spill place it at 4.9 million barrels, or 205.8 million gallons.

[If BP is successful with its "static kill" of the oil well — plugging the well with cement and mud — the company will move on to the final "bottom kill" phase with a relief well. Image via AP]

"Static kill," the first step to permanently plug the BP oil spill, could begin tomorrow.

A bunch of BP gas station owners are trying to revert back to the Amoco name, which was bought by BP, hoping to attract customers as some stations have seen a 40 percent drop in sales since the oil spill.

Shocker: BP used too much of a poisonous chemical dispersant on the oil spill.

"I became a villain for doing the right thing," former BP chief Tony Hayward told the Journal.

On last night's Daily Show, Jon said goodbye to BP's Tony Hayward, a man who provided joke/ nightmare fodder for most of the summer. Then, Stewart looked back at Hayward's past to uncover more secrets of the ooze.

The "BP squad," a group of federal investigators, are preparing a criminal probe of three companies involved in the Gulf oil spill: BP, Transocean, and everyone's favorite war profiteers, Halliburton. The companies' ties to regulators will be examined. [WaPo; Getty]

Big news day for BP! Besides paying CEO Tony Hayward nearly $1 million a year to go away, the company also announced that it is setting aside a $32.2 billion fund for the Gulf of Mexico cleanup effort. [BBC]

It's official: Tony Hayward will step down as BP CEO on October 1. His replacement will be Robert Dudley.

BP CEO Tony Hayward will earn £600,000 (about $930,000) annually after stepping down in October as part of his pension plan. Yeah, I wish I majored in geology, too. [BBC]

BP CEO Tony Hayward is being reassigned to Russia. One step closer to the Gulag.

Mississippi native Robert Dudley is expected to take over as BP's chief executive today. Good luck!

After a storied 28-year career with BP, CEO Tony Hayward is said to be on his way out after discussing an "exit deal," with an announcement expected in the next 24 hours. Happy trails, Tony. We hardly knew you. [BBC]

The former chief electronics technician on the Deepwater Horizon oil rig yesterday told investigators that critical fire and gas leak alarms had been disabled for a year so that the rig's crew could sleep in. Sleepy time is important!

Tropical Storm Bonnie is expected to reach the seepy BP oil well this weekend, delaying relief work for at least 10 days.

The government says new Gulf oil seepage is "not unlike an oil leak you might have in your car."

The Times of London, citing sources "close to the company," says that BP CEO Tony Hayward will resign before October 1, because everyone hates him, except for his family (probably). BP is denying the report. [CNN]