During a rain-drenched Red Sox-Tigers game at Boston's Fenway Park last night, a 22-year-old woman fell down an elevator shaft onto the roof of the elevator's second floor when the fourth floor shaft doors opened, according to the Boston Fire Department.

An undergraduate student group has announced plans to hold a Satanic "black mass" on Harvard's campus Monday evening, freaking out Catholics and conservatives who probably figured the Ivy was a dark servant of Beelzubub all along.

Officers stand guard next to a wreath marking the one of the bombing sites on Tuesday, the one year anniversary of the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing. Image via Andrew Burton/Getty Images.

One year ago today, one minute after two bombs exploded near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, a journalism student named Dan Lampariello uploaded to his Twitter account a photo of the blast, taken from his vantage point a few blocks down Boylston Street.

Would you pay $21 for a green tea? Well, if you were cultured, you would, you goddam heathen. But since we can't take you out anyplace nice, let's instead swig our swirled leaves with Ryan Sutton, the food critic for Bloomberg News and enjoyer of one fat night in Chicago.

An Air Force transport jet departing from Germany has been diverted due to an "in-flight incident" and will land soon in Massachusetts, The Boston Globe is reporting. Emergency crews are on standby awaiting the landing and are prepared for an unconfirmed depressurization in the plane's cabin.

In other news, the attorney general's regular video address this week was on sentencing reform.

Vice President Joe Biden didn’t just call one wrong Marty Walsh on Tuesday night. He apparently called some random lady’s voicemail and left a congratulatory message for Marty Walsh there too. You can listen to Uncle Joe’s hilarious misdial here.

The New Yorker is trolling us, or Boston, or both.

Vice President Joe Biden tried calling Marty Walsh to congratulate him for winning the Boston mayor’s race. Except Biden called the wrong Marty Walsh. “Marty, you did it, you son of a gun,” Biden declared to a man who is not the mayor-elect of Boston.

Last night, in a close race, Boston City Council member John Connolly lost his bid for mayor. But to his credit, he commemorated his defeat in the most Boston way possible: Getting into a public fight with his son's hockey coach. Whose name is Sully.

Boston's new mayor, Marty Walsh, is the same man who tried to make the Modern Lovers' "Roadrunner" the official rock song of Massachusetts earlier this year. We approve.

This weekend officially marks the end of Halloween season, and we have a winner in the awful costume contest: Twenty-two year old Michigan native Alicia Ann Lynch dressed as a Boston bombing victim.

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.

[With a score of 6-1 the Boston Red Sox beat the St. Louis Cardinals in Game Six to win the World Series in Boston Wednesday night. It's been 95 years since the Red Sox won the World Series at Fenway Park. Photo by Matt Slocum via AP]

In the second violent school crime this week, a 14-year-old boy was arrested and charged with murdering a 24-year-old math teacher, whose body was found in the woods behind their Boston-area school early Wednesday morning.

The Boston Globe reports that the Red Sox almost pulled the plug on their fake tradition of playing the fake-fun musical atrocity "Sweet Caroline" at the ballpark, but the song's sentimental use after the marathon bombing ensured Fenway will be stuck with it forever.

Sarah McLoud and Robert Owens could have at least cleared their internet histories before reportedly robbing a bank on Friday.

Glen James, the homeless man who found a backpack containing over $40,000 in cash and traveler’s checks in front of a Boston Best Buy last month, has now received over $150,000 in donations. Thanks to the kindness of strangers, he’ll be moving into transitional housing in Cambridge this week.

The homeless hero who handed a found backpack full of cash and travelers checks worth some $40,000 over to Boston Police will not walk away from his good deed empty handed.