Very sneaky, Ms. Fuller. Very sneaky indeed.
Star Magazine

So, so offensive! Nicole Richie is NOT a "hollywood star."

We're actually afraid to relay this report from MSNBC gossip columnist (and soon-to-be VF profile subject) Jeannette Walls:

Stay tuned for news and updates, as they become available.

This week, Star Magazine presents some facts you may not know about Oscar nominee Hilary Swank. Specifically, ten things, as in 10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT HILARY SWANK.

· Star magazine darklord Bonnie Fuller has reportedly enlisted the services of political spin doctor Howard Wolfson. While the official line is that he's working with Fuller on her personal book project, the proverbial insiders say Wolfson is around to manage Fuller's public image problem. Need we note that this man his job cut out for him? [Page Six]
· James Gandolfini's fiancée Lora Somoza has ended the couple's engagement. Somoza is relocating to Los Angeles, leaving Gandolfini free to ogle young reporters' asses. [R&M]
· Madonna's Kabbalah-fueled rage continues, as the incredibly limber star has become frosty with friend Debi Mazar and brother Christopher after they expressed doubts about her cult religious devotion. [Page Six]
· Nicole Richie insists that when she's not speeding down PCH with a bag of horse in her glove compartment, she's a totally normal girl. [Lowdown]

Say what you will about Post books editor Jared Paul Stern and his crazy fedora, but you can't question the man's hefty testicles. In an interview with The Black Table, Stern reflects on his time as Bonnie Fuller's wingman at Star magazine:

Proving that perhaps Wenner GM Kent Brownridge was on to something, Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston breakup coverage is far usurping even the best efforts of the tsunami's PR team. After a day of mandatory silence following the Times' emotionally harrowing Brad and Jen thinkpiece, Star magazine goes for the jugular with new photos of a cuddly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying some off-camera time in Costiera Amalfi, Italy. If you look closely enough, we swear you can almost see their genitals connect.
Brad And Angelina: Caught On Camera [Star on Yahoo]

Star magazine removes their previous sic-tastic graphics in favor of a new story:

We've already pointed out the hell that is early deadlines, so we're not gonna make fun of Star for running Brad & Jen Back On: IT'S BABY TIME! the week those two carbon-based corporations dissolved their Limited Liability Partnership.

We won't even get into the irony of Star magazine naming the Most Annoying People of 2004; apparently, annoying means "profitable for AMI:"

Goody goody, the time has finally come: Next Wednesday, CBS' newsmagazine 60 Minutes is airing its much-whispered about piece on Star editor Bonnie Fuller. We've already set our Tivos and suggest you do the same. Below (and after the evil jump), the CBS press release for the episode, which reveals that Bonnie was the nerd in high school (not that we're surprised) and her love of schadenfreude is only conducted with the best intentions. Coverage of Bonnie's whips and rusty rack methods forthcoming.

Us Weekly editor Bonnie Fuller has a suggestion for residents of her hometown Toronto to get them over SARS-related depression: "I think that if the city of Toronto could organize various celebrities to take part in an 'I Love Toronto' campaign, that would be great." We agree. In fact, we'd like to nominate the following celebrities to ship to SARS-infested Toronto: David Gest, Liza Minelli, Catherine Zeta Jones, The Strokes, Barbra Streisand, Melanie Griffith, Geraldo Rivera, Britney Spears, all available Osbournes, Catherine Zeta Jones, Mickey Rourke, Christina Aguilera, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, Katie Couric, Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, Lisa Marie Presley, Catherine Zeta Jones, Michael Jackson (fish; barrel), P.Diddy, Michael Moore, Catherine Zeta Jones... Alright that's enough; if we list everyone, we'll be here all day. But don't forget Catherine Zeta Jones.
Stars to save us from SARS? [Canada.com]

Rumors of an E!-developed reality show starring the staff of Us Weekly are still circulating. It's scheduled to include Editor Bonnie Fuller, which should fun for everyone. We're concerned, however, that "The Bonnie Show" will compete with our Gawker-produced reality show, "In the Elevator." (We were going to wire the doors shut for the second episode and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.)
Fuller herself on E! series [NY Post]

The Post's Keith Kelly gets a preview of Talk veteran Maer Roshan's soon-to-be-launched magazine, Radar, and notes that it's already taking swipes at other magazines. Media targets include Jann Wenner, Bonnie Fuller, and particularly Details editor Dan Peres. "Let's Get One Thing Straight," says one article, "Dan Peres, editor-in-chief of Details, is not gay. But his magazine sure seems to be."
Radar's attitude: more SPY than Vanity Fair [Keith Kelly - Post]

We've seen this before, but someone just re-alerted us, and yet again, we couldn't resist. (Find out what Google thinks of you by typing your name into the "Googlism" box.)
According to Google, Gawker is:
· going to hit your car and blame you for the accident
· a young man
· exploiting
· going to blow you away if you live in new york city

Keith Kelly reports that Jann Wenner renewed Us Weekly Editor Bonnie Fuller's contract for three years. Newsstand sales have increased over 55.2% during her tenure. (According to our completely unscientific estimate, tacky photos of 20 year old pop stars have increased 72.3%. Actual text has decreased 89.6% and multisyllabic words have decreased 63.4%. Not that we're saying there's a correlation...)
Bonnie's bonanza [Keith Kelly - Post]

· Gabriel Aiello, the owner of Gabriel, says the photo that ran with this NYT story, taken at 3:30 PM, was misleading and made it look like the restaurant was going out of business. Page Six notes that the NYT prohibits the use of staged photos. [Page Six]
· Leona Helmsley re-hires PR guru Howard Rubenstein after firing him five days ago. [Page Six]
· Us Daily did a full-page guide on "How to Dress Like Anna Wintour," and Editor Bonnie Fuller was seen putting on the exact shearling coat Wintour wore in the photo. Says one staffer, "She's totally obsessed with Anna...It's sick." [Page Six]
· PJ Clarke's reopens on February 20th at a big bash hosted by Esquire. [Liz Smith]
· Lauren Bush was caught flirting with "Joe Millionaire," Evan Marriott, at 7th on Sixth. He asked for her phone number. "Actor" Steven Seagal says he always carries a gun in New York. [NY Daily News]

US Weekly Editor Bonnie Fuller's contract is up in a little over two weeks and she's negotiating with Wenner Media Chairman Jann Wenner for a three-year renewal. Says one insider, "On the surface, it should be a no-brainer...But if any two people can screw it up, it's Bonnie and Jann."
Fuller contract countdown [Post]

Supermodels Are Lonelier Than You Think reprints a story about Us Weekly Editor Bonnie Fuller, whose magazine plays "Fashion Police" every year at 7th on Sixth. Apparently Bonnie has some style problems of her own to fix. "She put on this really tight white column dress and asked a bunch of us how she looked in it," said one staffer. "Well, it didn t look good...But the worst part was that you could totally see through it to her underwear. No one would say anything. Everyone was standing there, going, 'Oh, Bonnie! You look great!'" [Ed. notesycophantic twits. Bah!] The article oddly mentions that Fuller "idolizes" Anna Wintour. Not what we heard.
Bonnieshe's just like us! [SALTYT]