Everyone knows that in America, you have a right to an attorney. Rich, poor, no matter what. If you’re facing a criminal trial, you’ll have a lawyer to represent you, if you want one. Except, it turns out, if you live in Louisiana.
After tonight, unless the Super Tuesday polling is very, very wrong, Donald Trump will have largely finished crushing the rest of the Republican presidential field, and with it the plans of the various organizations and people who are described as making up the Republican party establishment. The Republican establishment will then begin making new plans, plans which involve supporting Donald Trump and trying to help him win the presidency in November.
Bobby Jindal, the Louisiana governor dedicated to making his state’s education system worse, became yet another Republican candidate to drop out of the presidential race on Tuesday. “I’ve come to the realization that this is not my time,” he told Fox News. That’s true. Bobby Jindal’s “time” was six years ago, when a bunch of dumb pundits said he would be the “next Reagan” and the “GOP’s Obama.”
Bobby Jindal and whatever remaining social media-literate staff he has left have spent the last 24 hours doing their best impression of a Trump smear campaign, calling the time-displaced Sopranos extra “not serious,” “a narcissist, “an egomaniac,” “a carnival act,” “a very weak and small person,” and “dangerous.” All of which are both true and perhaps some of the most honest, biting, and uninhibited criticism of Trump to come from a GOP candidate yet—from a proud anti-gay exorcist, no less.
The media is often granted access to important people. What responsibility—if any—do news outlets have to not be dirty, desperate, pitiful whores in exchange for this access?
AMES, IOWA—Abortion. Abominable gays. And god’s abiding dislike of the current Democratic administration. Hey 90s kids: remember 1996? Remember the Culture Wars? They’re back.
Earlier today, an eight-minute “undercover” video surfaced purporting to show Planned Parenthood’s senior director of medical services talking about selling the body parts of aborted human fetuses for the non-profit’s financial gain. Which would be shocking, certainly—if any of it were true.
Surprise! Experienced exorcist and current Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal is running for President. Now, some candidates’ announcement videos may focus on things like production, a candidates’ values, and actors who have consented to being filmed—but Bobby Jindal isn’t like other candidates. Instead, here’s a video he took of his children with a camera he hid in tree.
According to NBC News, Louisiana’s Republican Governor Bobby Jindal will be making “a major announcement” about his 2016 plans later this month. Which—barring an declaration that he seeks to abolish the federal government and name himself Jindalator Supreme—means that he, too, is likely running for president.
Louisiana governor and presumed 2016 presidential contender Bobby Jindal has an op-ed in The New York Times in which he takes a stand against everyone taking a stand against businesses taking a stand against gay marriage, and publicizes his push to pass a bill forbidding his state from taking “adverse action” against businesses that discriminate against same-sex couples. How brave.
And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling "urbans."
The last week must have thrilled anybody playing Romney VP bingo. Rumors suggested Romney would pick Condoleezza Rice. Rice has never run for—nor expressed interest in—elected office, probably couldn't siphon "the black vote" away from Carlton on Fresh Prince, and her candidacy's soundtrack would be Block Rockin' Briefs '01: Bin Laden Determined to Attack U.S. This week the VP rumor was about Tim Pawlenty, who is boring.
