More excitement in the battle between Bloomberg and Vanity Fair to see who can host the more fabulous after party for this weekend's White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Sure, Vanity Fair is offering Christopher Hitchens and all the alcohol he doesn't drink himself, but the Bloomberg bash will feature both pigs in a blanket and, possibly, our mayor-king himself! While the Bloomberg party is famously a snooze—and really, who wants to stand on the pavement smoking while the host gives you dirty looks from inside, a la Tina Brown's—consider this: "Bloomberg is proud to boast that its dozen toilets should better accommodate guests than the two bathrooms Hitchens' house reportedly has for its 100-plus guests." Plus, you know that Hitch is gonna be puking in one of them. Maybe the best choice is no choice at all.

Say hello to Julia Kouyoumdjian. She's athletic, she's 19, she goes to NYU, and she's the Post's face for the hundreds of thousands of New York women who have quit smoking in the wake of Mayor Bloomberg's "Let Me Tell You How To Live Your Life" campaign. While she claims her decision to abstain has nothing to do with Bloomberg's wagging finger, Julia is a pretty perfect representative of nicotine resisters: She decided to stop because it was interfering with her workouts. But it gets better!

Mayor Bloomberg made it clear yesterday that, despite rumors to the contrary, he has no plans to sell his 72% stake in Bloomberg News, the financial services company on which he built his fortune. The Times sees it as an indication that the mayor has no plans to run for President, but quotes Republican political consultant Ed Koch as saying that ownership in the company would be no impediment to a race for the Oval Office. Us, we kind of admire the mayor's style: Guy's still driving around in a 2001 Lexus and he leaves $12 billion on the table? That's the kind of thing the little people appreciate.

• What will the effect of Jeffrey Johnson's ouster from the LAT be? Well, for one thing, it will allow every media outlet to print articles like this one, which speculates about the effect of Jeffrey Johnson's ouster from the LAT. [WSJ]
• Nikki Finke thinks Dean Baquet is a big pussy. [DHD]
• Carly Fiorina wants credit for H-P's turnaround. H-P's spying? Not so much. [NYT]
• Jack Shafer is bullish on Bloomberg News, even though its news "has all the mouth-feel of a cup of talc." Yeah, it took us a while to get that one out of our heads too. [Slate]
• Now you can be bored by twelve full years of Charlie Rose. [WWD]
• Even when Jon Friedman admits to spouting the conventional wisdom he's spouting the conventional wisdom. [Marketwatch]

Ah, the joys of real journalism. This afternoon's mail call at Gawker HQ included a handwritten envelope without return address, mailed yesterday from somewhere in New York. Casting aside our natural fear of anthrax (we figured any white powder in Jon Friedman's possession is probably just residue from that morning's donut) we opened it, only to find that some anonymous source had sent us... a copy of Bloomberg News' Performance Evaluation forms! Can you feel the excitement? Full details (sans scans; this is the least interesting document, graphically, that we've ever seen) after the jump.

We mentioned yesterday that Mayor Bloomberg stopped by the set of the Nanny Diaries to announce an expansion to the city's tax credit program for local film and TV productions and, as he said, "to stand next to a real beauty, Scarlett Johansson." But alas, Her Curvitude was not present, prompting staffers to insist that she was on her way.

Slate's annual list of the 60 largest charitable contributions of 2005 is out: the late Cordelia Scaife May emerges as the biggest contributor, having left her $404 million estate to charity; Bill and Melinda Gates come in second with $320 million. But what about our favorite media moguls?

• Times foodie Frank Bruni's cutting investigation into restaurants discovers the unthinkable: you will spend money, often more than you originally intended. We're grabbing a Pulitzer nomination form right now. [NYT]
• Perhaps The Source should have gone looking for a new accounts manager before their landlord booted their broke asses. [MB]
• A very odd and possibly sad sighting of Radar's widower Maer Roshan. [PX This]
• Former councilwoman Margarita Lopez crowns Mayor Bloomberg an "honorary lesbian." We always knew he had a little bulldyke in him. [Politicker]
• Yet another theory on James Frey's FTBSITTTD tattoo, this one with as powerful a message as they come. [TMN]
• Our society has finally come to the point where a young, helpless woman will sacrifice her ladyflower for a fucking videogame system. Score one for those Left Behind-type freaks. [Craigslist]

• Remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny? We certainly do — those halcyon days bring tears to our eyes. This weekend's episode featured a "Lazy Sunday" rap was so fantastic, it might've saved the entire season. [SNL]
• We've realized now that Braunstein's been caught and Radar's folded, we've little to live blog for these days. Thankfully, Blackface Jesus keeps us afloat. [Craigslist]
• Holiday Link #1: Christmas just ain't white without a card from Brooklyn's own Women for Aryan Unity. [Alternet]
• Holiday Link #2: Build your own menorah, ladies! [TC]
• Holiday Link #3: At a loss for the perfect holiday sentiment? How about: "I wish you the worst tidings this holiday season. I hope Santa comes down your chimney, fucks you in the ass, and shits in your stocking." [The Muk Report]
• Holiday Link #4: Naturally, the billionaire media-mogul Jew would have to start his own front in the War on Christmas. [Jossip]

• Teen People kills story on Nazi bubblegum popsters after learning that a staffer promised not to use the words "Nazi," "supremacist," or "hate" in discussing the hateful white supremacists, and after Holocaust survivors picket Time Warner HQ. Keith Kelly calls incident a test for new Time Inc. EIC John Huey, but we gotta wonder about what this means for new Teen People m.e. Lori Majewski. [NYP]
• Per the latest Plamegate wrinkle, Mr. Wonkette notes that Bob Woodward isn't "the preeminent investigative reporter of his generation;" he's just a highly placed transcriptionist. [NYO]
• From just after the invasion until last week's withdrawal excitement, U.S. media did a shitty job of covering the Iraq war, [NYO]
• Ruth Reichl will be making miso-rubbed turkey with gravy, persimmon cranberry sauce, and rustic porcini onion stuffing for Thanksgiving. [WWD]
• Did Anna Wintour bring down the Variety spinoff V Life? She certainly thinks so. [Radar]
• Two Bloomberg L.P. employees charge the mayor's media company with disability discrimination. [NYP]
• 2005 was a crummy year, says Jon Friedman. [MW]

From the mailbag:

City Hall announced yesterday that Mike Bloomberg donated a total of $140 million to 843 groups last year, the Sun reports today. It's the most money he's ever given in one year — up from his previous record of $135.3 million, in 2003 — and by far the largest number of groups he's given to, up from his 2002 record of 655.

• If you support graffiti as viable artistic expression, you should really call Mayor Bloomberg and tell him yourself. [Animal]
• Think your buddy on the undergraduate 5 Year Plan is a slacker? Meet the man behind the 12 Year Plan. [GQ]
• We tend to avoid beauty coverage 'round here (seeing as you all are obviously gorgeous enough as is), but if Pat Benatar tells us to paint our nails, we're listening. [Cool Hunting]
• Great anecdotes in Matt Drudge pervanoia. [Crooks and Liars]
• Details continues to fly its big, gay flag. [Towleroad]
• Listen, Hilary Duff, you're cute. The new veneers? Hey, whatever floats your boat. But now you've taken it too far. [Just Jared]
• Ten things you should never tell the bouncer who's not letting you into the club, compiled by the bouncer who's not letting you into the club. [Clublife]

More from London: A suspected suicide bomber at the Stockwell Tube station on the Northern Line has been shot dead by police officers. No word on whether or not he was planning a new attack or involved in yesterday's handiwork.

From Bloomberg senior editor Nick Hays' Bob Dylan-inspired resignation letter: "Matt, I quit...As the poet said, I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind. You could have done better, but I don't mind. You just kind of wasted my precious time. But don't think twice, it's alright."
Staffer won't work on Bloomie farm no more [Keith Kelly - NY Post]

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Keith Kelly reports that Bloomberg LP spokeswoman Chris Taylor cut short a performance by a dance act Full Frontal PR authors Richard Laermer and Michael Prichinello hired for their book release party. In the "sexy and flirtateous routine," two dancers "basically undressed one another to the point where both were standing in skin-tight leotards." It was supposed to be a metaphor for the interaction between PR people and journalists. (I think it would be more accurate if money changed hands and/or at least one party felt vaguely dirty afterwards.)
Bloomberg execs put kibosh on full frontal book party [Keith Kelly - Post]