AOL boss Tim Armstrong wants a lot from his bloggers. He wants pageviews per story to more than quadruple. He wants total editorial output to rise 27 percent. And he wants this all by April. Uh, sure!

In your cheeky Thursday media column: Henry Blodget demonstrates the New Journalism, NYT blogger profiles reach a new low, every media relaunch is delayed, and America's thinkiest journalists embed at a White House dinner party.

The Huffington Post maintains a small army of wage slaves who spend all day "moderating" the site's millions of comments. Their current primary task: to ensure that no comments are published about Arianna Huffington's wanton airplane Blackberry-ing incident.

Where did Dancho Danchev go? The Bulgarian cybercrime researcher has been missing since last August. The only clues: A source who says he's "in a lot of trouble," and pictures of a mysterious government surveillance device found in his apartment.

It's been a month since protests erupted in Tunisia. President Zine El Abidine has fled, the government's collapsed and clashes between protesters and police are sweeping the country. Of course, the requisite cries of "Twitter revolution!" are sweeping the blogosphere.

When AOL bought TechCrunch last September, the first question on everyone's lips was, "How long could Mike Arrington possibly last as an AOL employee?"

Demonstrations protesting terrible economic conditions are now sweeping Tunisia, sparked by a 26-year-old's dramatic self-immolation last month. In addition to the normal police beatdowns, the Tunisian government is frenetically censoring the Internet, arresting bloggers and a popular dissident rapper.

In your glacial Thursday media column: ESPN plagiarism mini-scandal, Forbes.com proves that bloggers are not so smart about economics, Wired vs. Glenn Greenwald, and Judith Miller schadenfreude alert.

What is the point of "fashion?" The point of fashion is to repel men. Oh. Okay. Darn. This topic admittedly surpasses my understanding. Does it work, this fashion thing?

NYC officials are seeking to fire former hooker-stripper-blogger teacher Melissa Petro. Andrea Peyser will be positively distraught.

When we reported on the Minnesota couple who are putting their abortion up to an Internet vote, we wondered whether it was a pro-life stunt. The couple claim to have no agenda, but what's with the husband's anti-abortion Internet history?

The Arnolds are having a baby. Unless the public votes to have the child aborted. Meet the couple behind Birthornot.com, where "you can vote and choose whether we abort or keep our unborn child."

Ellen Ross—the paparazzi-friendly Jon Gosselin girlfriend who demanded Taco Bell fire employees for looking at Jon the wrong way—has a blog where she gives advice, mostly about boyfriends and chihuahuas.

This Halloween, teens descended on a Brooklyn neighborhood and proceeded to act like snotty teens on Halloween. A local blogger documented the mayhem, befriended some of the teens on Facebook, then posted their profiles and incriminating status updates.

Sarah Palin's new website, SPAlaska, features four blogs. That means Sarah Palin had to hire four unemployed bloggers, and you know what that means: liberals! One used to work for Gore. Another trash talked Palin on her old blog. [DailyBeast]

Barack Obama invited some special friends for a first-of-its-kind, in-person White House chat today: liberal bloggers who are always mean to him! And the first report back suggests that they discussed Obama's legislative strategy for repealing DADT. He has one!

Greta Van Susteren, Fox News anchor and power-blogger, was channel-surfing before her show tonight. (God knows she doesn't "prepare" or anything.) She happened on CNN's Parker/Spitzer, and was disgusted by the orgy of Bush-bashing sexual innuendo she witnessed therein.

The Autobiography of Mark Twain just became the number one best-seller on Amazon. This means people have to come up with something new to say about Mark Twain 100 years after his death. Like: was Mark Twain a blogger?

Blogger and face scribbler Perez Hilton is taking to Ellen DeGeneres, YouTube, and Out magazine today to say that he's not going to bully celebrities on his website from now on. Is he serious or is this a PR stunt?

35-year-old blogger Hossein Derakhshan, a Canadian citizen, was sentenced to 19 1/2 years in Iranian prison for "collaborating with enemy states" and "creating immoral websites," among other charges. This is the longest prison sentence given any blogger.