Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog was taken over by Fake Bono. As the story goes, Bono was spending Thanksgiving at Jobs's house and found El Jobso had left himself logged into Blogger. He got drunk with Googlers, flew on Marissa Mayer's jet to meet the Pope in Uganda, introduced the U2 Edition iPhone, and wouldn't shut up about his RED campaign. Really, who is this guy? Send guesses my way. After the jump, an apology of sorts from Fake Bono to Fake Steve.

Venture capitalist and blogger Fred Wilson has a lot to be thankful for, he tells us. "Three awesome kids," "a work life that is stimulating," and, of course, "a wife who loves me even though at times she threatens to kill me." If the image Wilson embedded with his post is any hint, it seems he might be having a little trouble pulling himself away from his laptop this holiday. Let's all take Mrs. Wilson's advice this holiday weekend, shall we?

Wednesday was Michael Wallent's last day of work at Microsoft. Not because the fast-rising executive, previously responsible for the Internet Explorer browser, quit, or was fired. Nothing of the sort. Rather, on Monday, he'll begin a course of surgeries that will allow him to return to his job in January as Megan Wallent. Wallent, who came out as transgender earlier this fall, has started blogging about the experience.

San Francisco real-estate agent and blogger Damion Matthews, left, apparently has a bit of a thing for Facebook board member and hedge-fund manager Peter Thiel, right. Matthews, who first blogged about Thiel in April, recently declared the financier "dreamy." Well, handsome enough, we'd say, but hardly dreamy. At any rate, we hate to break it to you, Damion, but Thiel's taken. If he weren't, though, you'd have a better shot than that Tennessee girl who lined up to get his autograph.

"Hello there. This is Michael Freidson, deputy editor at Time Out New York. I'm writing with a few questions. Can you please take a moment to answer, for an urgent feature story?," began an email spammed to a group that Michael Friedson identified as "New York's top opinion-makers" on Tuesday. Judging from the questionnaire that follows, Time Out has decided to eliminate the use of troublesome freelancers by just having their sources write their articles.

You'll recall a certain conference about blogging that went mostly unattended and unmentioned. Well, Read/WriteWeb's Alex Iskold actually went, and came back with a gem of a navelgazing thumbsucker, too. I'm not sure how using Google Trends, which tracks the frequency of searches on terms, gets you anything meaningful about "blogging" versus "newspapers," but I'm sure I don't care. This one's for the dead-tree lovers among us, baby.

I'm sorry, but the Scoble coverage sucks without me. It's been two weeks since I stopped posting and Fake Steve is already reduced to recycling this photo from January. I punched it up in Photoshop — can't you guys even do that for yourselves? Anyway, our boy slammed Google's phone plans Monday. Scoble's 100 percent right, but 1,251 words too long. I fixed that.

"I am watching as the blogging world crucifies me," TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington writes, after he didn't attend a Las Vegas conference where he'd been advertised as a star panelist. Crucifies? Mike, rent a copy of The Passion of the Christ before you, like John Lennon, reach for that self-aggrandizing metaphor again. And if you think your fellow bloggers hate you now, wait'll they find out you've been invited to Davos. Elsewhere over the weekend, funtrepreneur Jason Calacanis got himself booted from the insidery Gillmor Gang podcast. No, we don't listen to it either. But we did play the you're-fired phone call Calacanis posted to his Twitter page. Mental note: Calacanis records his calls.

Did you know that BlackBook magazine has a blog called "Into the Black"? No? Well, why would you? We only noticed it because of their current stunt—now that prostituting their editorial intern has gone so well, they've got a marketing intern on offer. But what else is on this blog?

This just in from the wires! "For 18 years, I have had one of the best jobs on the planet," said Scoble. Who knew PodTech had been around so long?

TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington notes the launch of European blog netowrk MyKinda with a swipe at MyKinda's competitor BlogNation. He published emails sent by BlogNation founder Sam Sethi, a former TechCrunch writer, to Blognation's employees and potential venture capitalists. Why? Well, there's bad blood here. And we're not talking about Sethi's feud with Arrington, either.

This week, a bunch of bloggers are gathered somewhere to blog about blogs, blogging and bloggers. We forget the location — Vegas? or is it Beijing? — but topics will include blogs and politics, blogs and business, blogs and the media, and how to make some dough at this blog thing. Unless Dave Winer shows up and pisses everyone off by telling the truth again, we'll skip it.

Here's HuffPo's Rachel Sklar on making friends down in Boca at the American Magazine Conference: "We're pleased as punch to report that [Portfolio blogger] Jeff [Bercovici] was enthused about the notion of cross-posting from Portfolio to HuffPo, saying that he was always happy to increase his traffic. Well, now, see Jeff? Compensation comes in many forms, and rich indeed are those who blog within our warm, happy embrace. Arianna was happy to give Jeff a mini-scoop which may or may not be showing up on his blog soon (free content for Jeff!)...." [HuffPo]

My esteemed colleague Paul Boutin may not be writing about egoblogger Robert Scoble any longer, but I'm still prepared to navigate the Scoble Self-Aggrandizement Wunderblog in search of fresh content. Today, I noticed that Bobby likes to talk about himself. A lot. So I made a little chart that lists how many times certain words appeared on the front page of Scobleizer today. Hopefully, he'll link to this story and send literally tens of readers to Valleywag. That would make my life complete.

If you're going to call someone a liar, first be sure it's the truth. I'm rockin' the house to Craig Morgan's "International Harvester," catching up on last week's infighting between Secret Diary of Steve Jobs author Dan Lyons and videoblogger Robert Scoble. Lyons says Scoble's company, PodTech, is "going under." Scoble says the company is "restructuring its business and refocusing its resources." It's all fun and games until the Scobleizer repeatedly asserts — on Twitter, of course — that yours truly at Valleywag prints LIES!

When we were discussing what celebrities blog about, we somehow neglected Martha Stewart, and this is why we shouldn't have: "This most unusual perennial, Gomphocarpus physocarpus, is called the balloon plant. I like to call it hairy balls. A species of milkweed, it is often used as an ornamental plant and is striking in cut arrangements." [The Martha Blog]

Fatally overserious Read/WriteWeb blogger asks when Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Secret Diary of Steve Jobs became a "reliable source." He points to recent posts Lyons wrote as Fake Steve Jobs about PodTech and Facebook — both of which Valleywag picked up. I think the question is more when anyone at Read/WriteWeb ever had a blog post as funny, informative, and truthful — even when fictional — as Fake Steve.

Venture capitalist Andrew Parker has invested in Tumblr. But he must be using the only install of the blog platform that bans images, video embeds, and sentence fragments. In justifying Union Square Ventures' investment in Tumblr, Parker says:

Attention tech PR people: Here's the conclusion of reluctant Valleywag content provider Robert Scoble's two-part, 37-minute whiteboard orgy on how to get your next press release to the top of Techmeme, the most important site on the Internet. Ready? Here it is: Take Scoble to dinner. Boom, top of Techmeme. It's that simple. You know why this is funny? Because I'll bet it works.