The orgiastic clusterfuck that is Oscars Week in L.A. can produce just about any variety of celebrity composite, and so one is hardly compelled to raise an eyebrow at sightings involving Orlando Bloom pouring hot fudge from a gravy terrine down Penelope Cruz's cleavage, with an incapacitated Courtney Love lying on the floor directly below, hungrily collecting the drippings. But something about this PrivacyWatch sighting of Real Time host and tireless cokewhores' rights advocate Bill Maher cozying up with Saks' Fifth-Most-Wanted Winona Ryder struck as instantly noteworthy:

The Times takes a look at Bill Maher's recent appearance on Larry King, where

• Morgan Stanley continues to slap Sulzberger around. [NYP]
  

Ours is not to cast judgment upon Bill Maher's choice of costume, nor, for that matter, to say what constitutes an appropriate waiting period before a freak celebrity death becomes fair game for laughs—after all, 40 years still hasn't made it possible to show up to a Hollywood Halloween soirée as a "decapitated Jayne Mansfield" without hearing at least a couple tsks of derision from offended partygoers. Still, if Maher simply had to go to the Playboy Mansion (or whatever monster bimbo bazaar he opted to attend this year) dressed as Steve Irwin with a stingray barb hanging out of his chest, one would have hoped he would have more fully embraced the "tasteless mockery of untimely, recent tabloid deaths" theme by throwing Al Franken in a short, blonde wig, giving him an oversized, prop pill-bottle marked "METHADONE," and introducing everyone to his "bunkmate in celebrity heaven, Daniel Smith."

Ho to the hip-hop stars Karinne Steffans had no shortage of conquests to write about in her tell-all memoir, Confessions of a Super Vixen, but one in particular always stood out. Ironically, he was the unblingiest of all: Bill Maher. Feel free to reach for the sickness bag conveniently located behind your monitor as your mind fills in the naked-Maher-having-sex blanks:

· Liz Smith says we've unfairly locked her in the supply closet: "don't they know that Babs doesn't have a thing to do with me? I'm on her Z list. I'd be the last person she'd ever invite April 24!" [Liz Smith]
· Comedian Bill Maher was shocked and offended to learn that Details chief Dan Peres didn't reserve a VIP table for him and his ten friends at their pool party last week. "When you invite someone like me to a party..." he whined. [Page Six]
· The ultimate in conspicuous consumption: For a recent Nylon photoshoot, Lil' Kim wore a diamond studded AmEx Centurion card (the highly exclusive black ones) around her neck. The name on the card: ID Models mogul Paolo Zampolli. [Page Six]
· Director Roman Polanski on Adrien Brody, after the actor forgot to thank him in his Oscar speech: "He's a punk. I want nothing more to do with him. Never ever will I work with him again." [Cindy Adams]
· The rules for visiting Camp David: "No guns, no explosives, no mobile phones, no pagers, no cigarettes, no "dipping," meaning no snuff tobacco." [Liz Smith]
· Heiress Marylou Whitney learns how to operate a washing machine. [NY Daily News]

Comedian Bill Maher argues that the American public shouldn't be robbed of the opportunity to mock celebrities over some silly little war. "Either do it or don't do it. But if you're going to do it, show the world, you know, what we're fighting for. Which is, of course, lavish overindulgence. Get out there in your cheesy tit suit. Say something stupid about your agent. Thank God and your mom and have all of us make fun of your dumb headdress. Don't take that away from us." Hear, hear.
Should celebrity activists shut up for now? [Salon]