Bernie Madoff was a winner today, successfully convincing a judge to let him remain free pending trial. Who lost? The dozens of reporters who turned Bernie's block into "a full-blown media circus" as they waited for him to emerge from his toasty $7 million penthouse. He never showed, of course, although a reporter for the Times did spot pro-Bernie posters on a signpost on the corner of 64th Street and Lexington Avenue, which read "Keep Bernie Madoff Free" and "No Jail and No House Arrest for Bernie Madoff." And so now you know what Bernie's sons have been doing in recent days, too! [NYT]

Bernie Madoff remains free on bail, in his multimillion-dollar penthouse, despite trying to hide millions in assets. And, you know, stealing $50 billion. Thanks, justice! [NYT]

• NBC's Lauren Zalaznick is forming a "panel" to help marketers target women. Just a few who have joined the program: Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Vieira, Candace Bushnell, Shelly Lazarus, and Tori Spelling. [AdAge]
• Hearst's Cathie Black is expected to sign a new 3-year contract. [NYP]
• The FT has let 80 people go. [Guardian]
• The first Madoff-related book, Catastrophe: The Story of Bernard L. Madoff, The Man Who Swindled the World, will be out in March. [NYP]
• ABC is thinking about bringing back Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. [TVW]
• Magazines like O, Glamour, W, Marie Claire and Teen Vogue all posted sharp declines in sales during the last few months of 2008. [WWD]
• The networks that went home winners at the Golden Globes. [Variety, NYT]

There's a very good reason why Ruth Madoff's 1996 cookbook, Great Chefs of America Cook Kosher, is no longer in print. John Shoup, the CEO of Great Chefs Television, says his company trademarked the term "Great Chefs" in 1983 and forced Madoff's publisher to stop printing the book as soon as he learned of its title. Shoup claims his attorney is now looking into whether Ruth and her publisher have violated the agreement since then, although if he's hoping to get any cash out of the Madoffs, he'll have to take his place at the back of a very long line. [Eat Me Daily via NYM/Daily Intel]

Bernie Madoff won't have to make new friends at Rikers tonight. A federal judge, Ronald Ellis, denied a request by prosecutors that Madoff be jailed while awaiting trial. Judge Ellis did impose a couple of new conditions, ordering Madoff to compile an inventory of all items in his home and barring him from transferring property. But you can be sure that fellow residents of 133 East 64th Street won't be too pleased to hear their most infamous neighbor will be relaxing in his penthouse for the foreseeable future. The judge's full ruling is after the jump.

• Will Bernie Madoff sleep in his bed tonight? Will he sent to jail for violating the terms of his bail? Judge Ronald Ellis will answer the question in the next few hours, but if you're dying to find out Bernie's fate the minute it happens, you can tune into Fox's live feed from outside his apartment building. [Bloomberg, Fox]
• In other Bernie-related news, it turns out that Bernie's sister was a victim of the scheme, too. She lost $3 million that she invested with her brother and is now "desperately" trying to sell her Palm Beach home. [NYP]
• Madoff has yet to apologize to his victims, but the Times reports that Bernie did issue regrets to his neighbors for the "terrible inconvenience" he's caused them in recent weeks. He also thanked them for their support, although it's unclear who exactly these supporters are. [NYT]

Bernie Madoff squandered $3 million of sister Sondra's money, so the 74-year-old must sell her $900,000 Palm Beach home. Maybe she could try the newly-popular local pawn shop.

Ezra Merkin, the financier who steered $1.8 billion into Bernie Madoff's pockets, officially stepped down today as the chairman of GMAC, the financing arm of General Motors. The move was widely expected given the reputation-shattering events of the past few weeks, a staggeringly swift fall for a resident of New York's richest apartment building and the president of one of the city's most prominent synagogues. But when there's blood in the water, the sharks turn up for dinner, which is why Merkin's art adviser, Ben Heller, says his phone is ringing off the hook.

Bernie Madoff's karmic debt is balancing out! Because yes, he ripped off a lot of worthy charities, but now we find out he also ripped off tax-evading Clinton pardonee Marc Rich:

It's hard to imagine what life must be like right now for Andy and Mark Madoff, the sons of alleged scam artist Bernie Madoff. It's still unclear if the two had any role in helping their dad carry out the $50 billion fraud and if they'll eventually face legal charges. Their reputations have been decimated. Worst of all, they didn't get those Hanukkah gifts that their dad hoped to give them, expensive pieces of jewelry that were intercepted by the authorities (and may ultimately cost Bernie his freedom if a judge rules the gifts violated the conditions of his bail). They didn't get the cash that Bernie had hoped to give them either, the signed checks to friends and family discovered in Bernie's desk drawer when he was arrested. But, as always, we're here to help!

• More than 2.6 million jobs were lost in 2008, the most since World War II ended in 1945. The unemployment rate now stands at 7.2 percent. [CNN]
• Steve Rattner may be Barack Obama's car czar, assuming several potential conflicts of interests are sorted out. [ABC, NYP]
• Hedge funds lost 18.3 percent on average in 2008 [DB]
• Merrill Lynch exec Gregory Fleming is headed off to teach at Yale. [DB]
• Dick Parsons says he has no plans to become Commerce Secretary. [DB]
• Sometimes there is justice in this world: Marc Rich was a victim of Bernie Madoff, too, and lost $10-15 million as part of the scheme. [BN]
• Bernie Madoff's home in the south of France is actually fairly modest. [BN]

The New York Times reports video of Bernie and Ruth Madoff "lounging on their yacht, visiting a winery and relaxing in an upscale hotel in San Tropez [sic] in southern France" will air on Fox Business News tonight at 7pm. In totally unremarkable news, it also seems reporters at the Times don't spend much time visiting luxe French resort towns. [NYT/Dealbook]

Prosecutors say that Bernie Madoff had 100 signed checks worth $173 million in his office desk—ready to go to family and friends—when he was arrested on December 11. We're going to go ahead and assume they were from Deluxe's "Tropical Breeze" series, but if you know otherwise, please let us know. [NYDN]

The Feds still want to throw accused Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff in jail for mailing mittens. Oh, and some diamonds and emeralds and other expensive things.

Maybe Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick aren't so broke after all? Though they lost money in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, a tipster tells us they're flying first class to LA right now.

Good news for Italian fashion mogul Valentino! Although London's Evening Standard reported yesterday that the golden-hued designer had been a victim of Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme, Valentino's reps have denied the account to WWD: "A spokeswoman for Valentino said Wednesday that neither the designer nor his longtime business partner Giancarlo Giammetti has any links whatsoever to Bernard Madoff." [WWD]

• "There's only so much due diligence you can do," hedge fund manager Arki Busson explained to Bloomberg News when asked how he managed to get suckered by Bernie Madoff. This is especially true when you spend most of your time chasing models and actresses. [BN]
• Bernie Madoff's lawyer says his client will agree to "tightened bail requirements" to stay out of jail. Maybe he could be confined to his bathroom instead of his entire apartment? [BN]
• Bank of America started handing out pink slips yesterday as it plans to cut 35,000 employees following the merger of BofA and Merrill Lynch. [NYP]
• Bill Ackman's Pershing Square lost 12 percent in 2008. [BN]
• The SEC has reopened its investigation into insider trading allegations at Art Samberg's Pequot Capital. [WSJ]
• Wilbur Ross would like to buy a bank if you've got one to sell him. [CNN]

Unconspicuous consumption is the hot new thing. That $300 million megayacht? Tacky, what with the layoffs. Private jet? Forget about it, after Detroit's debacle. Even the celebrity goodie-bag business is endangered.

One person you probably didn't expect to be profiting from Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme: Fabiola Beracasa! The oft-photographed social butterfly has a day job, in case you were unaware: She's the creative director of CIRCA, the estate jewelry company where "Madoff-related jewels had been incoming all month, like expensive shrapnel," according to the current issue of The New Yorker. Fabiola's boss, Chris Del Gatto (left), says his company has been inundated with precious pieces since news of the scandal broke, which he then proceeds to prove to reporter Lizzie Widdicombe by dumping a manila envelope filled with "the day's harvest from Palm Beach"—more than $250,000 worth of jewels—on a desk. Del Gatto is quick to point out that he isn't a "pirate" for profiting off desperate sellers. (If anything, his outfit here strikes as "safari guide" more than anything else.) And he adds that his firm has since had to assume the role of "priest, rabbi, and psychiatrist" to help distraught Madoff investors cope with the loss of family heirlooms. It's a role we imagine Fabiola has settled into quite nicely considering her first-hand experience with the subject.

If you've been waiting for video of Walter and Monica Noel in all their glory, Business Sheet has a clip of the Madoff enablers from a 2000 British documentary called The Man Who Bought Mustique. Bonus: Wait until the end of the clip and you'll hear the subject of the film describe the couple as "worms" and "frightfully badly behaved snobs." [Business Sheet]