Robert Jaffe was one of Bernie Madoff's most prominent fundraisers. Shuttling between Boston and Palm Beach, the well-coiffed, car-collecting financier with a weakness for $5,000 suits was responsible for raising countless millions over the years, funds he funneled into Madoff's $65 billion scheme. Jaffe is currently facing multiple lawsuits, and investigations by multiple state and federal agencies are still pending. He's also been almost entirely rejected by the people he once called his friends and clients: Back in December, for example, he nearly took a beating when he turned up at a party and came face to face with Nine West founder Jerome Fisher, who lost $150 million to Madoff's scheme. But while Jaffe faded from sight soon after and retreated to his $17 million mansion—and even had to sacrifice his weekly manicures because he was reportedly "too embarrassed to show his face"—he's back!

The man cast to play Bernie Madoff in the upcoming docudrama, Madoff: Made Off with America, is Jersey City resident—and non-professional actor—Paul Cohen. The movie's director, Edmund Druilhet, says he picked Cohen because he "had the best lips." But they share other traits, too: "Both are Jewish, have April birthdays and attended school in the Far Rockaway section of Queens." So, you know, there's that. [Forward, Page Six]

The new issue of Vanity Fair features a piece on Bernie Madoff's two sons, Andrew and Mark, how much they knew about their dad's vast Ponzi scheme, and what life is like for members of the Madoff family these days. Among the revelations: Neither son has spoken to their father since he was arrested in December, nor have they had any contact with their mother; Andrew's estranged wife uses her maiden name when ordering groceries from FreshDirect; and the parents of classmates of Andrew's daughters at Dalton—"apparently fearful of assassins crouching in vestibules"—aren't too keen on letting their children attend parties at the Madoff home. So in case you were wondering, it still does really suck to be related to the biggest scam artist that has ever lived. [Vanity Fair, Page Six]

Bernie Madoff: hired Martha Stewart-endorsed "mitigation specialist" to help him reduce his prison sentence. Luxuries!

Can we interest you in one of Mark Madoff's business cards? Just $4.99 plus $1 for shipping, according to this listing on EBay! We have no idea what you'd do with the business card belonging to the disgraced son of admitted fraudster Bernie Madoff, but if you already have cards from Dennis Kozlowski at Tyco and Ken Lay at Enron, you might as well add it to the collection, no? Oh, and in case you're wondering, if you call the number printed on Mark's card, you'll get an automated message that suggests "trying again later." How optimistic! You may have better luck emailing him. We didn't get a reply when we sent over a little note this morning, but it didn't bounce either, so it's possible that Mark is still online. Developing! [EBay]

• Following a similar move by Morgan Stanley last week, Citigroup and Bank of America are raising base salaries for bankers. It's designed to make up for the new limits on annual bonuses (and won't make up for the difference, by any means), so don't expect shouts of joy at either bank today. [WSJ]
• Bank of America has scraped together another $5.9 billion, which means it's now 76 percent of the way toward filling its $33.9 billion capital hole. [WSJ]
• New York State Controller Thomas DiNapoli is cutting ties with 10 hedge fund managers as part of the state's pension corruption investigation. [DB]

Rihanna may be getting over Chris Brown by boning Kanye West, Jesus Luz puts Madonna in the "friend zone," Mike Tyson's 4 year-old daughter is on life support after accidentally hanging herself with an electric cord, and Brooke Shields expresses regret for not slutting around when she was young.

• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]

Amateur-mafioso-cum-Daily-Beast "writer" Burt Ross got his Madoff Check from the government and blogged about it.

Ezra Merkin, the money manager who invested more than $2.4 billion in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme and has since been sued by both Andrew Cuomo and his disgruntled investors, is not having a good week. His hedge fund was turned over to liquidators the other day. Now he's caved to pressure and stepped aside as president of the Fifth Avenue Synagogue. What could be next? If you hear about an emergency co-op board meeting at 740 Park, you may have your answer. [NYT]

The townhouse belonging to Marisa Noel Brown has officially hit the market. The youngest daughter of disgraced hedge funder Walter Noel (who had $7.5 billion invested with Bernie Madoff), and the wife of Matt Brown (who worked for her father at Fairfield Greenwich), Marisa's been contemplating a sale for quite some time now. But now it's official and 12 East 78th Street has been listed with Stribling for $12 million. Keep in mind, though, that "it's well-known the couple is willing to take much less." [NYO]

Hello friend, my name is Ade Ogunjobi. I received your contact information in good faith from our mutual friend, Mr. Bernie Madoff, and my corporation, Toks Inc, is prepared to offer the sum of $100 trillion ($100,000,000,000,000) for Mr. Madoff's business. Please respond quickly.

An Atlanta man has offered to buy Bernie Madoff's investment firm. And he's willing to pay a pretty penny for it, too. Ade Ogunjobi, who runs a company called Toks Inc.—and just so happens to have been born in Nigeria—has proposed to acquire the defunct firm in an "all stock tax free transaction involving $100 trillion in stock or 400 million shares" of his company.

ABC News caught up with Ruth Madoff the other day when she appeared downtown to pay a visit to her imprisoned husband. Shockingly, she was not in the mood to chat about whether she had anything to do with the scheme, or whether she has any regrets about what happened. But it is nice to see her lifestyle seems to have suffered a bit of a blow. After issuing the reporter a stern "Fuck you!" she hops into a taxi, instead of her customary chauffeur-driven Town Car. [ABC News via Dealbreaker]

Ezra Merkin, the money manager who plowed more than $2.4 billion of his clients' cash into Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, will now need to find a new occupation to keep him busy. He's agreed to turn over his three hedge funds to a liquidator at the "request" of Andrew Cuomo. As you may recall, the attorney general filed suit against the disgraced financier last month; Merkin is also contending with suits by about half a dozen of his investors, including Daily News publisher Mort Zuckerman, who lost $15 million, and NYU, which lost $24 million in Merkin's Ariel hedge fund. On a more positive note, Merkin remains the frontrunner to take over as president of the Fifth Avenue Synagogue when the board convenes tomorrow! And if he decides to leave finance and go into journalism, he has a fantastic connection to help him get a foot in the door. Plus the Post has a new photo of him wearing a super-cool hat, so he's got that going for him, too, which is nice. [NYT]

Walter Noel's messy legal situation just got messier. Irving Picard, the court-appointed trustee responsible for liquidating Bernie Madoff's investment firm and recouping funds for Madoff's victims, just filed a $3.2 billion lawsuit against Noel's firm, Fairfield Greenwich Group. So while Noel may get a chance to play golf in the Hamptons this summer, he's clearly going to have to learn how to swing a club and talk to his lawyer on his cellphone at the same time. [NYT]

• The market is kicking off the week on a positive note. [CNN, WSJ]
• The investigation into Bernie Madoff's scheme is now focused on some of his biggest investors: Jeffry Picower, Stanley Chais, and Carl Shapiro. [WSJ]
• Bradley Ruderman, the founder of LA-based Ruderman Capital Partners, has been arrested and is charged with bilking investors out of $44 million. [DB]
• Steve Rattner is making waves again, although it has nothing to do with the unfolding pension fund scandal. It's his construction of a $15 million summer home on Martha's Vineyard that is now angering neighbors. [P6]

Those of you waiting for a judge to throw the book at Bernie Madoff will have to wait a little longer. Madoff's sentencing has been pushed back from June 16 to June 29 because trying to decide who gets to speak at the proceeding has proven a wee bit complicated. Judge Denny Chin says it would be "impracticable" to have everyone who wants to address the court do so. (Presumably Chin was hoping to attend to other legal matters in 2009.) But it's not too late to turn in an application: "Those wanting to speak at next month's sentencing will need to e-mail the United States Attorney's office explaining why by June 10... Those selected to speak will be notified by June 15." [NYT/Dealbook]

Bernie Madoff's pitch to his investors, for decades: He offered high and consistent returns. The reason those investors are now getting sued: He offered high and consistent returns. Believing his sales pitch was criminally idiotic!

About $12 billion was pulled out of accounts at Bernie Madoff's firm in 2008. About $6 billion of that was taken out in just the three months before the crooked financier was arrested. No wonder Ruth is still shopping at Neiman Marcus. [NYT/Dealbook]