In your womp-filled Wednesday media column: Greta Van Susteren will never leave your TV screen, an ad blogger gets an ad job, Benoit Denizet-Lewis is a Good Man, and the FT is the paper of the future.

A writer wrote about Tiger Woods' penis! Some chick from The Bachelor totally cheated on The Bachelor! J-Lo in a catsuit! David Paterson's awesome rapper friends! Adrian Grenier isn't ugly! OR IS HE?! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Famous sex addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis is sorry for publicly confirming that Tiger Woods is in rehab for sex addiction, illustrating the fact that no addiction is quite as powerful as a SCOOP. (Except crack and heroin. And meth). [BDL]

NYT's resident sex addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis has a source at the Mississippi sex rehab clinic Tiger Woods is rumored to be at. And he's definitely there, says Benoit, who apparently becomes a tabloid reporter when sex addiction is at stake.

Today in the Gawker Book Club: Benoit Denizet-Lewis will be taking your questions on sex addiction, Tiger Woods, the sexual revolution, creepy NAMBLA members, and why the hell he lives in Boston.

Former drug-and-sex addict and current writing-about-drug-and- (just!) sex-addiction addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis had the swine flu for eight days. Then he ate bad sushi and got sick. There's a fine how-do-you-do, eh? [BDL]

Perez Hilton called will.i.am a "faggot." Now, in an Advocate profile he desperately wants for you to know that he's not a gay hate-monger. He's just a racist. Some of his best friends are gay people. Best friends like... himself!

We're starting a new, daily media column for all the media news items we can't get to individually. It may also feature pithy remarks and totally exclusive scoops. Read it today, and forevermore:

Former Gawker hottie Benoit Denizet-Lewis is still riding the addiction train to literary success! The America Anonymous author and unveiler of Down Low culture is writing about his sex addiction, luckily for pervs like you:

Identity expert Benoit Denizet-Lewis showed up in Slate Friday to report on a disturbing new trend: white guys on the "Down Low." Denizet-Lewis, who first told the world that some black guys have sex with other black guys back in 2003, teases out the troubling implications of this blatant cultural appropriation: White guys are enjoying the "cool" of the DL without suffering the pain that goes with it. (Also, they're using it as an adjective, which is wrong on so many levels.) This is a difficult issue, dealing as it does with both race and sexuality, so we're hesitant to make light of it. We're just concerned that if this follows the same trajectory of other incidents where white folks have taken black concepts and adapted them to their own culture, we're going to lose our screaming queens to a new generation of masculine, closeted mos. And then who's going to play the sophisticated city girl's sassy best friend on all the sitcoms? Think about what you're doing, white folks.

We'd have to call this the most interesting bit of news in this week's Publishers Lunch weekly deal wrapup:

• The New York Press names Adario Strange as new EIC. Strange is best known as the second editor of The Source and his recent documentary The NYU Suicides, which is a lot like the Press because, uh... No matter. Welcome to media life support, Adario!
• A $250 power meal at the Waldorf means looking at a lot of fancy ladies — all of whom would crush you in a second if you came near their lofty perches. [Almost Literary]
• Any readers at the University of Oregon? Want to tell us what it was like to hear Times mag contributing writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis talk about sexy stuff? [UO]
• Bad news: Mariah Carey does not own any part of Mariah Winery. If their sauce sucks, they'll have to find someone else to blame. [WineFetch]
• Donny Deutsch corrupt? No. [AdAge]
• Meryl Streep thinks it's hard to be Lindsay Lohan, mostly because Streep just can't stay up that late. [BH]
• Katie Holmes puts on her fake belly all wrong. [Blogger]
• Head Stroke Julian Casablancas lost his diary. We doubt it's occurred to him to maybe look on LiveJournal. [The Strokes]

Because apparently none of you people can read without also moving your lips, we hear your pleas and provide this assistance:

Hidden beneath a 30-second ad rests one of Salon's most entertaining articles ever: Benoit Denizet-Lewis' profile of Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries — a 61-year-old man who bleaches his hair and has a thing for Herb Ritts. The leader of Abercrombie's WASPy gestapo struck us as more than a little weird, so we went to Denizet with some probing questions: