It appears that future published author Kristin Cavallari is at the beach.

Adam Pye, 26, was killed at a Bay Area beach in California on Monday after a 10-foot-deep hole he was digging collapsed on him. At least 30 people—including emergency personnel and bystanders—tried to dig him out, but in the end he was buried for 35 minutes. He was pronounced dead on the scene.

A man fishing on the beach alone at Point Reyes National Seashore was swept out to sea and killed on Monday. Witnesses said the fisherman was trying to retrieve his ice chest, which was pulled off the beach by the surf.

Beach days are the best! It's nothing but taking in the sun, splashing around in the water, and digging six-foot pits in the sand. Um, huh? While I'm pretty sure most people don't spend their time at the beach digging massive trenches in the sand—what are you, digging to China?—to each his own. But if you happen to be the sort of person who enjoys this activity, please know that these holes are extremely dangerous and may collapse in on you, as 17-year-old Orange County resident Matt Mina will tell you.

Hello, Florida! How are you today? Oops! You're doing it on the beach. Erica Huerta, 21, and Steven Perry, 22, were arrested for engaging in "sexual activity for more than a half hour" on Treasure Island beach just before sunset on Monday. Yes, Steven Perry. (It's actually amazing how many Journey songs seem apropos to this story: "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'," "Girl Can't Help It," etc.)

Digging holes in the sand: a time-honored beach tradition. Also, surprisingly dangerous! A member of the Austrian Olympic swim team had to be rescued by a crew of 60 people after jumping into a hole he dug in the sand in Pompano Beach, Florida.

Supermodel Stephanie Seymour went to a nude beach on St. Barts this past weekend. [Photo via INF]

[It might be winter in many parts of the U.S., but it was perfect weather to celebrate Australia Day on the beach in Perth where this reveler got an eyeful at the Havaianas Thong Challenge. Image via Getty]

[Steve Martin had fun in the surf at the pauper's beach colony of St. Barts today. He even lost his bathing suit for a second. Click through for a glimpse of pale old man behind.]

When I first saw these amorous images, I thought supermodel Stephanie Seymour had taken a young lover. But—surprise!—that is actually her 18-year-old son. How close is too close when it comes to mothers and sons?

[Def Jam and Phat Farm founder Russell Simmons reminds you that no matter how rich you are, things still get stuck in your teeth, even in Saint Barthelemy. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.]

A woman in Italy was questioned by police after a mother complained that her two teenage sons were "troubled" by the sight of her naked boobies on the beach. Perhaps "troubled" is the wrong word. How about "turned on"?

[Sunbathers on Flamengo beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Being at work on Monday morning is almost as good as this! Pic via AP.]

Police were called to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware over Memorial Day weekend after people complained that several transgender women with breast implants were sunbathing topless. But with male genitalia, they can't be arrested for indecent boob exposure. [AP, Getty]

There are so many things you can find at the beach. Shells! Sea glass! Driftwood! And, uh, cocaine: A beachcomber in Galveston, Texas, stumbled across a bag with 16 bricks of coke—an estimated $2.1 million haul.

While you may be hoping that something happens today to break any familial tension and give you something to talk about with aging relatives, the President is essentially crossing his fingers for an incredibly uneventful holiday in Hawaii.

What the world has been eagerly awaiting for so many months now: fresh photos of a shirtless Barack Obama, via the AP. Taken during his vacation to Hawaii this week, the health conscious can rest assured that he has just as little body fat as his doctors said he did. Now you'll have to hope and pray that John McCain doesn't decide to take a vacation of his own anytime soon. After the jump: more photos of Obama frolicking in the surf as well as firm evidence that the Illinois senator is both losing weight and extremely loyal to blue bathing suits.

The worst of the recession has finally hit us where we live. Forget about housing and energy and our greenbacks suddenly being equal to Canadian play-money-the worldwide reversal of fortune is depriving us of breasts! The beaches of France, long renowned for their topless bathing beauties, are being plagued by tops this summer. According to people who study such things, when women are not feeling happy about their economic and social status, they feel less inclined to expose their flesh to the viewing public.

Yes, yes, the fearsome, spineless, gooey jellyfish are coming to get us. This weekend, the Times weighs in with this dread tale about how rising "swarms" of jellyfish worldwide means the death of the ocean. I can't really argue with that, since I don't visit the rest of the world (I am told it's rather humid in parts), but then there's this piece from CBS detailing how the floaty little blobs are causing absolute hell on a certain beach closer to home. "In the waters off Long Beach, N.Y., swimmers aren't the only ones enjoying the surf: Jellyfish are showing up in droves. 'We were here a few weeks ago and there were a lot of jellyfish. We didn't even go in the water. It was horrible,' one teen told CBS News correspondent Susan Koeppen. And with thousands being stung by jellyfish this summer, lifeguards at Long Beach are armed with spray bottles filled with alcohol and water to take away the pain, says Koeppen." That's some bullshit right there.

On a personal note, I would like to address the skinny, deeply-tanned, weasel-voiced Brooklyn fuck who set up shop five feet behind me on Long Beach just off Edwards Boulevard yesterday and proceeded to yammer into his cell phone as loudly as he possibly could about the media for two hours straight yesterday. You, sir, are human waste. I know you'll read this. How do I know? Because you said things like, "I've worked as a media professional for the last ten years," and "I just did a little temp work for the Times," and, "Can I do a seminar for, like, all these editors and news executives about digital media?" You suck. You're the worst thing I've ever heard speaking. On the beach? You spout that vile nonsense on the beach?!