Sure, they might be successful and talented and, at times, capable of brilliant work, but aren't Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter taking the whole "eccentric artist" look one step too far? There's a difference between looking crazy and looking like a bum from Santa Monica who is bundling up for a long winter's night. One has to wonder if their child will rebel by embracing sports and wearing clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch.

[Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad, two stars of The Hills, in Los Angeles today; image viaBauer-Griffin]

You know, I neither want to nor have to hang out with a bunch of kids all day. With their sticky hands, runny noses and always wanting to listen to The Wiggles. It'd be so overwhelming. Kids. Always needing to be entertained. Anyway, now I can just go to the beach and just hang out or shoot off to Greece for a month after a movie wraps and just zone out. The single life is where it's at. Now go fetch me a daiquiri, Mr. Vin Diesel lookalike. Mama's thirsty.

[Crazy old fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld and friends outside the Waverly Inn last night; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Martha Stewart holding enormous scissors at Macy's yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Actress Sarah Jessica Parker with her Vanguard award at the annual ShoWest convention in Las Vegas; image via Bauer-Griffin]

We're a fan of all of Natalie Portman's film work, but it's her strides in the shortform variety that have particularly astounded us lately. Just six months after she at long last unveiled both Boleyn girls—along with the rest of her—in Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier, comes another drastic about-face for the consummate actress and Star Wars-geek spankbait-object. In a sequence in New York, I Love You, an anthology of love stories set in Manhattan (including one directed by shameless romantic Brett Ratner), the Israeli-American actress bundles up to play a Hasidic woman—albeit notably unencumbered by one of those tricky-to-maneuver, five-seat strollers. Could the dashing young mensch to her right be searching for just the right moment to pop the question, and get a little under-the-chupah action going? Those smiles say yes.

Why must Lindsay Lohan always dress as if she's Steven Tyler's illegitimate daughter? Sobriety is a good thing and all, but maybe she should save outfits like that for when you're wailing away on "Guitar Hero" in the privacy of your own home.

You think it's easy being a Hilton? Think again.

[The newly minted top 12 contestants on this weird show that no one watches American Idol out celebrating last night; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Either French actor (and former Kylie paramour) Oliver Martinez is attempting to recreate his favorite scene from the film Gummo or he's just creeping everybody out with his ability to ride a bike without using the handles (all the while doing a very good Vincent Gallo impression).

[Tilda Swinton at a film premiere in Paris yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Socialite Hilton with some sort of "holy man" in Los Angeles yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Elle Macpherson in London today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Recently be-Oscared actress and kickin' swinger Tilda Swinton returns home to her native UK today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Anthony Hopkins at the dedication ceremony of a statue memorializing comedian Tommy Cooper in Wales over the weekend; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Just because Dannielynn Birkhead wasn't recently extracted from a famous uterus doesn't mean she's has no resale value. Her crossed eye alone is worth a robust $250,000. A Larry Birkhead source say he's selling the surgery footage to Entertainment Tonight and The Insider. Birk denies he's hawking the actual procedure; he's just shopping around the follow-up interview. This is going to make for a very special episode of Celebrity Rehab in fifteen years. [Page Six, image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Actress Natalie Portman at the London premiere party for her new film The Other Boleyn Girl; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[All-too-catchy singer Lily Allen, who was recently defrauded by a stripper, in London yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Once again, Kelly Osbourne, with famous blogger Perez Hilton in London yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]