· There is no denying that chimpanzees have a proud tradition of cinematic excellence. From BJ And The Bear to Project X, the little rapscallions have earned their place as our favorite animal actors (especially since the bear species has proven themselves to be less than reliable). But as rad as it was when those chimps drove airplanes with Matty Broderick, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter domination of this little chimp playing Jenga on Japanese television. Yes, we said Jenga! [YouTube via AOTS]
· If you are offended by the sight of Robert Downey in blackface in Tropic Thunder, wait til you get a load of an overweight Japanese guy in blackface pretending to be Stevie Wonder in this bizarre tribute to "We Are The World." [Gheorge: The Blog]
· In what will certainly go down as the worst atrocity to happen to the Batman franchise since Joel Schumacher got kicked to the curb, we are disappointed to report that The Dark Knight's got milk. [FilmDrunk]
· "Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: 'I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.' I would also get offers from women in my ear: 'Anything you want, just find me.' I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park." Excerpts from Charlie Sheen's post-Denise diary? Nope. Just a day in the life of a Disneyland Jack Sparrow. [LA Mag]
· We're not quite sure exactly why every episode of Twin Peaks is available on CBS.com — considering the show aired on ABC — but that doesn't mean that we're not grateful. How's Annie? [CBS.com via Thighs Wide Shut]

So here's the new high definition trailer for The Dark Knight. There were a couple of crappy bootleg versions on YouTube for a few hours last week until Warner Bros. pitched a fit. Video after the jump.

A clever mashup from CollegeHumor.com suggests Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight—the hotly anticipated, second chapter of his radical re-envisioning of the Batman franchise for Warner Bros.—might be less of a radical re-envisioning than we might have been led to believe. Frankly, they could prove the entire thing was lifted frame-by-frame from an NYU film school thesis project, we wouldn't be any less excited about it. Dark Knight! Whooo! Movie of the summer! The side-by-side "trailers" are after the jump:

The Dark Knight, the latest outing for the revived Batman franchise, is out on July 18th. And the excitement is such that the release of a new poster, especially one as ominous as this, makes news. I saw the shape of the bat in the glow of the burning skyscraper-after a minute. But, at first, it looked like one of the Twin Towers, hit by an airplane.

But not, erm, not the way the Joker died this winter. Industry rumor says that DC Comics will kill off Batman this summer, and not even in his own comic book but in the series Robin. According to the rumor (possibly confirmed by this cover of an upcoming Robin), the sidekick will become the new Batman, which isn't even how that works. Since the new Batman movie The Dark Knight comes out in July, Batman's death in another medium would make front-page news, especially since Captain America's death made the New York Times front page last spring.

In a savvy bit of viral marketing set to reclaim Warner Bros.' Dark Knight campaign from the near-disaster of votive-and-flower-ready Why So Serious? multiplex displays, Batman fans are encouraged to stopwhatthey'redoingRIGHTNOW and allay their post-Ledger apprehensions at IBelieveinHarveyDent.com. There, Gotham City district attorney Harvey Dent — a/k/a eventual Caped Crusader nemesis Two Face — exhorts visitors to join his campaign to "join the fight for Gotham."

It's no big deal for Mattel to release a toy that just happens to look like a recently deceased actor in conjunction with a popular action flick, especially when the family approves. But imagine you've somehow gone home with a comic book nerd, and he shows you his "collection." What is the one possible way he could further creep you out?

Many, including us, have been wondering out loud how Warner Bros. plans on addressing the unique (and thankfully so) marketing problem currently facing The Dark Knight: Namely, what to do about a campaign that took fiendish pleasure in showcasing Heath Ledger's singularly bleak and twisted take on iconic Batman villain the Joker. Slate now reports that the studio's plan, in place since the beginning but perhaps being ushered in more hastily since the actor's death, is to shift the focus over to the film's other featured villain:

And so, with two days to let the devastating news sink in, Variety now asks the inevitable question of what's to be done with Heath Ledger's final projects—the wrapped The Dark Knight, and Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Morbidly running through the history of productions faced with surprise cast deaths during shooting (apparently CGI has now taken over for stunt doubles and very low lighting as the re-animating technique of choice), the report then addresses the issue of how such misfortune might cast marketing campaigns in an unpleasant new light. As we pointed out on Tuesday, The Dark Knight's focuses squarely and gruesomely on Ledger's chillingly effective performance as The Joker, providing an unwelcome creative predicament for WB's marketing czar:

Holy fucking shit—this just in: Heath Ledger is dead. From PageSix.com:

It's probably too early for Warner Bros. to start rolling out the promotional stunts, but we can think of worse ways to build buzz for Dark Knight than by releasing swarms of actual bats around the city. And even better if they're bold enough to do it indoors. [Curbed LA]

· Not only do we now have video to better illustrate yesterday's Homer vs. Ancient Fertility God post, we also have a link to this delightful animated image of what he was planning on doing with that donut. [via BoingBoing]
· Like, in the Batman movies, maybe Two-Face will actually be an evil manifestation of Harvey Dent's repressed homosexuality? [Laughs] Now, that's interesting. Sure, maybe so.
· But as far as we know, no one's yet had a chance to confront Heath Ledger about the Joker as evil manifestation of repressed homosexuality.
· We take back what we said the other day, because now Courtney Love has never looked better.

· In other of Father's Day, we present our candidate for Dad of the Year. That kid is going to grow up strong.
· Even after a second opportunity to design the bat suit, The Dark Knight's Christopher Nolan still refuses to succumb to the rubber nipple temptation that destroyed a lesser director.
· Is The Thing about to give Invisible Girl a brick-headed Bronsky? We think he is.
· Archaeologists uncover oldest petrified Mickey Mouse popsicle on record.
· Isaiah Washington-related silences are now being broken at an incredible pace.

· We're not going to do Warner Bros.' job for them, but if you go here, here (do a Ctrl-A on that one), here, and then here, you can figure out what the above picture is all about. Congratulations, you've successfully completed a viral marketing campaign.
· Only five felonies? Sizemore's totally losing his edge.
· Polanski throws a tantrum at Cannes, disappointed that the lapdog press didn't whip up some more challenging questions about hot-tube rape.
· "Tripping over a chihuahua" is the new "took two months' worth of prescription painkillers."
· If you plan on ever getting another good night's sleep, don't watch this.

Continuing the proud tradition established by the Hollywood Walk of Fame's own Head-Butting Chewbacca and Picketer-Baiting Batman, Melbourne, Florida's Genital-Touching Captain America has taken a place of honor in the Fake Superhero Justice League with his recent arrest, detailed by The Smoking Gun, on counts of drunken handsiness, marijuana possession, and third-degree package misrepresentation for his stuffing of a burrito into his tights during a costumed pub-crawl. TSG also has video of the booking, in which the disgraced defender of America is subjected to a humiliating, symbolic surrender of his crimefighting uniform's cowl and red boots.

While our reports of on-set mishaps are generally limited to the greater Los Angeles area, we are happy to field such dispatches from our far-flung operatives whenever the export of Hollywood's movie magic disrupts their workdays. A pair of Chicago-based tipsters have let us know about a fire that broke out on the Windy City location shoot of upcoming Batman sequel The Dark Knight:

Following yesterday's leak of that troubling Alec Baldwin voicemail, the world was placed in the uncomfortable position of trying to determine which famous parent is the worse role-model for the impressionable Ireland, the one screaming into the phone, or the one who apparently wants their child custody battle played out in the tabloids. At least one former associate of the onetime couple has now made his choice and gone public with his feelings, bringing his trademark brand of vigilante justice to an already ugly and complicated situation.

Above are some of the highlights from a massive Hollywood memorabilia auction that brought in over $2 million yesterday, including $115,000 for a rare Wizard of Oz "Winkie" witch's guard costume, and the same for a Superman costume worn by Christopher Reeve in Superman: The Movie. (The entire catalog is available here.) Val Kilmer's Batman Forever batsuit brought in $63,250, a respectable sum considering it had not yet been retrofitted with accoutrements like the latex batnipples and a titanium-reinforced codpiece that would characterize the schizophrenic hero's "Kinky Clooney" era. And while we don't have the final figures on Wolverine's adamantium claws, we'll assume that any iconic prop that once belonged to Hugh Jackman would have brought in a bid of at least five figures, just as the dance-thong from his legendary run as a high-kicking Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz did at a Broadway Cares charity auction event in December 2004.

· It's funny because it's true: no balls in this town get licked without the all-important conference call.
· Had enough of the 300 parodies yet? Yeah, neither have we.
· TMNT packs all of the pizza-chomping thrills of a Leni Riefenstahl film.
· While Batman is off taking a toke break, the Joker is is busy plotting his boner-related revenge.
· We swear, we were only kidding about Zsa Zsa Gabor's batshit husband getting back in to the Dannielynn Smith paternity sweepstakes.