Ron Morais, of Fredericton, New Brunswick, doesn't like to waste a drop of his coffee. "I always take the lid off to get my last sip," he told the CBC. But he says that on a visit to McDonald's Monday, he found something in his cup that ruined his appetite for last bit of coffee there: A dead mouse.

Police in Boulder are currently on the lookout for a man who was apparently hiding inside a porta-potty at last week's Hanuman Yoga Festival. Let that sink in for a second.

Passengers aboard the luxury expedition ship MV Clelia II are probably wishing their biggest problem was subsisting off mayo sandwiches, after the ship lost an engine this week while on an Antarctic cruise and hit 30-foot swells.

Long Island nurse Erick St. Louis was arrested for allegedly stealing medical waste in search of Fentanyl patches, a potent cancer drug, which he would suck like "an artichoke" to get high. Then he'd dump the waste on a playground.

Put your lunch down for a minute: A Georgia man and his wife filed a federal lawsuit after they bought a box of cereal from a Save-A-Lot grocery store and, after taking a bite, found a used tampon floating around.

British brewery BrewDog is producing a $750 beer called "The End of History Ale." At 55 per cent volume, it's stronger than whiskey or vodka. Also, all the bottles are placed inside dead animals.

U Street in Washington D.C. was covered in "a greasy mess that smelled like vomit" on Wednesday. Was it the sickening, bilious waste of the United States Senate, come to life? No, it was just "used restaurant oil." [WTOP]

What is the deal with airline food? Good question! Turns out, the deal with airline food is that it is made at facilities containing roach carcasses "too numerous to count." And that's just one of the FDA reports!

Swingers have higher rates of sexually transmitted infection than prostitutes by almost two-to-one, according to a new study conducted in Dutch clinics. Scientists say older swingers are particularly gross. Uh, vulnerable. Particularly vulnerable. [Reuters]

Italian police in Turin have confiscated several thousand servings of mozzarella because it "turned blue after contact with air." This is the second-worst thing to happen to Italy this weekend, after drawing with New Zealand in the World Cup. [AP]

Jimmy Dean, the musician and founder of the Jimmy Dean line of breakfast products, died on Sunday at age 81. To commemorate the entrepreneur's passing, let's look back on his company's wondrous inventions. Like "Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick."

Jersey Shore creator SallyAnn Salsano says she hands out herpes medication Valtrex "like M&Ms" to "everyone on the set." She also called the show a "herpes nest." Don't forget to brush your teeth after you vomit! [THR via NYP]

Would you like to hear the romantic story of "James" and "Maura," the Irish couple who fell in love and had a child after meeting at a nightclub? What if I told you that "James" and "Maura" were half-siblings?

Would you eat a cheeseburger from a vending machine? What if that cheeseburger was endorsed by NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt Jr.? Fret not: Such a product—the Dale Jr. cheeseburger—will soon be available, from vending machines across the land!

Here is the heartwarming story of 72-year-old Pearl Carter, her lover and grandson Phil Bailey, and the $54,000 surrogate mother they have impregnated. Sorry, did I say heartwarming? I meant, oh my god get it out of my head.

In the great "these things go together" corporate tradition of LVMH, Disney has created a $4 billion "Princess" division "almost by accident" to combine the considerable assets of Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine, and Ariel. ("Pocahontas and Mulan are usually kicked off the throne. Disney says that's because their 'qualities' are different from the others..." Right.) The story would ho-hummly end there if this were just about little-girl economies of scale, but no, as Disney exec Jim Calhoun says, "We want women to have a little bit of Princess every day." Including her specialest day!

You can preorder James Frey's third novel 'Bright Shiny Morning' on Amazon for delivery this June 8. Boy, that's a fast turnaround for a September acquisition! Guess it didn't need to be edited much, being so genius and all.

Eric Simonoff sold James Frey's third novel Bright Shiny Morning to Harper's Jonathan Burnham for 2 million dollars, a reputable source now tells us. Hey, maybe he could donate some of it to the family of that beautiful dead crack-addicted prostitute who didn't exist!