Things got hot and heavy on The View when Barbara Walters read a racy personal ad aloud. The sexual tension grew even more confusing when the steamy posting's true subject was revealed to be a bitch nobody suspected.

John Goodman was on The View this morning, and made a series of terrible puns that even left the ladies feeling a little lost for words. His demeanor showed he hasn't deviated too far from his role on Roseanne.

It's no surprise that Marina Abramović's exhibit at MoMA ended up as a hot topic on The View. It's filled with naked people! Watch as Barbara Walters tries to describe her visit to the show as delicately as possible.

What started as an innocent comment on Elisabeth Hasselbeck's dress turned into accusations of full on lesbianism on The View today. Goofy uses of the following terms abound: "pancakes", "Sappho Walters."

Today at Gawker.TV, the hosts of The View turn into puppets, George and Robin flub up their lines on GMA, Ugly American's pilot episode, and how last night's Top Model is more like a Japanese game show thank you think.

Today Joy had her "Month in Review" segment and channeled Ricky Gervais' animated show with a quick bit where all the hosts were puppets. As cute as they look, they sadly still talk and bicker the same as always.

Talking about Heidi Montag's managerial switch from her husband, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, to personal psychic consultations, Whoopi Goldberg imitated the New Age California girl and won Barbara Walter's ultimate accolades for her ditzy-voiced impression.

Carey Mulligan won't let Shia drink. Russell Simmons lets slip he's got a huge dick. Mo'Nique acts like a diva. Mariah Carey acts like her spanx has cut off circulation to her brain. Sunday gossip has Oscars fever.

Get ready for everyone to be outraged now that Mo'Nique has said her husband is allowed to "cheat." But if more people had open relationships, wouldn't life be a whole lot better?

In case you needed any more proof of that Barbara Walters is now the TV embodiment of senility, watch as esteemed hostess emeritus of The View shames the Twilight star about his... um, admission to Details Magazine.

Barbara Walters is one of the hardest working women in show business, not to mention one of the oldest. And do you know what kind of toll the schedule she keeps has on a woman her age?! Take a look.

Jeff Toobin's fetish is too-hot-to-print. Outing Anderson is a national pastime and Barbara Walters has more sex than you do. If gravitas, hairspray, and that thousand-mile teleprompter gaze are your thing, here's your dossier for meth-smoking, anal-fisting, camera-loving news anchors.

A complicated back-story could lead to a Taxi Driver remake—starring Robert De Niro. The ACE awards happened. Barbara Walters won't torture us anymore before the Oscars. Today's Trade Roundup is dedicated to former president Martin Van Buren.

The oldest living newsperson who is not on 60 Minutes, announced today that the upcoming annual Oscar Special—her 30th—will also be her last. Thanks for finally giving someone else a chance to do something on TV, Babs.

Dear ABC, When you decide to make a big deal of promoting a segment where someone is going to make an announcement that "will change the face of Television!" please make sure that it actually lives up to the hype.

It seemed SNL was all about politics tonight, from the opening Fox News parody to a second Don't Ask, Don't Tell discussion in a View sketch. But it was Andy Samberg's obscenity-laden impersonation of Rahm Emanuel that stole the show.

While the co-hosts of The View agree that the "r" word is unacceptable, Whoopi and Sherri shut down Barbara when she suggests that it's in the same category as the "n" word.

Today Barbara Walters regaled the View ladies with stories about her visit with Senator Scott Brown (R-MA). But when the censors over at ABC deemed his Cosmo spread "too hot for TV," Joy and Sherri let them have it.

During her "Month in Review" on The View today, Joy Behar showed some choice video clips of Barbara Walters claiming to be a lesbian and kissing Julianne Moore on the mouth. Bonus: a cameo by Elisabeth Hasselbeck's husband.

Last Friday, Conan O'Brien bid The Tonight Show adieu. Jay Leno will reclaim the "King of Late Night" title in March. But to understand the present, one must know the past: here's how we got to where we are now.