In the end, all the Twitter jokes in the world couldn't keep Hostess from shuttering as the company announced today that it will move ahead with plans to ask a federal bankruptcy court for permission to liquidate its assets and fire some 18,500 employees.

San Bernardino, California filed for bankruptcy last August. It is a poor city, yes. The economy is bad, yes. But why does one city fail while many others like it don't?

The funniest (meaning "most horrific and devastating") thing about student loans is that, thanks to some nifty lobbying, you cannot get rid of them in bankruptcy. They just stick around like one of the more bothersome STDs no matter how impoverished you become. But that might change, a bit! Which would be major news for you broke, educated people.

America is currently embroiled in a student loan bubble and when it pops, wooo buddy. *Makes whistling sound, gazes off into distance*... let's just say that I hope you can use some lacquer and a long stick to turn your college diploma into some sort of edged weapon to fight off the starving graduate student food mobs. Let's just leave it at that. Let's not get explicit, except to say that banks will literally take your mother's home if you try to not pay them back, so, you know, the weapon thing is maybe the way to go.

A judge has ruled that Sam Zell—the gnomish billionaire and purposeful asshole who singlehandedly bankrupted the Tribune Co. in one short year, thanks to his own personal greed and incompetence—will be the very last creditor to get paid out in the company's bankruptcy proceedings. Dead last. Zell has $315 million of his own money at stake.

Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Suzy Q's, Sno Balls, Zingers, and Donettes, among other god damn delicious products, is bankrupt. For the second time in eight years. Labor costs, debt load, flour prices, blah blah blah. What will it take to save Hostess? Will it take Hostess sending out cases of its delicious products out to various popular online media sites, to "build buzz?" Now is the time to find out.

Although virtually every big newspaper company has suffered major layoffs, declining stock prices, and general existential malaise for the past several years, the last one to actually declare bankruptcy was Tribune Co., which was actively destroyed by a gnomish billionaire's arrogance and incompetence. Well, good news, Tribune: you have company!

In your mordant Monday media column: NotW readers disappear, newspapers must advertise, Keith Gessen's pale jail tale, the Tribune Co. screws more shareholders, in-house news, and your headline fuckup of the day.

In your murky Wednesday media column: America's largest newsprint maker goes bankrupt, the HuffPo tries its hand at "journalism," an Irena Briganti hunt, Nick Denton vs. the commenters, and the NFL's launching a magazine.

The city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy today, thanks to "overwhelming debt" related to a revamping of the city's incinerator. Municipal bankruptcies of this size are quite rare! Stupid incinerator.

This is kind of sad: Alabama's most populous county could be forced to file for bankruptcy after accruing a $3 billion sewer debt. One could argue that Jefferson County's finances really did go down the shitter on this one.

And now it's done: after teetering on the edge of oblivion for months, once-mighty book chain Borders has announced that it is liquidating.

Reddish book chain Borders went bankrupt earlier this year, and it looks like the "anything but books" revitalization plan hasn't panned out. We could be living in the last few days of Borders' existence, ever.

Over the weekend, bankruptcy-declaring restaurant chain Marie Callender's sent some of its elite squadrons of corporado commandos to at least one of its Seattle area locations to kick out everyone inside—including longtime employees and customers who hadn't finished eating yet. Hard times demand even harder hearts!

Selling Lady Gaga's new album Born This Way for 99 cents not only crashed Amazon's servers, but also cost them about $3 million. Was it worth it?

The Financial Times has a long interview with Lady Gaga conducted by British actor/author Stephen Fry which the paper will publish over the weekend. We were given a little sneak peek of what Gaga said to Fry during the exchange, and she makes some insane claims, including that she went bankrupt funding her Monster Ball tour.

Just after pervy CEO Dov Charney sunk $2 million of his own money into the company, camel toe purveyor American Apparel has released its latest financial report. And it's bad. Very, very bad.

Despite our warnings to you that this would happen if you didn't run out and purchase several cases of wildly overpriced pears, it appears that you didn't listen: Harry & David has declared bankruptcy.

David Barton Gym, the very fancy (and very gay) discotechque/gym chain, is $65 million in debt and bankrupt. The company signed a deal to remain open, though, so Anderson Cooper still has a place to work on those guns.

Borders filed its long-expected bankruptcy yesterday. Hundreds of its stores will be closing in the next few weeks. Besides Borders employees, two other groups are worried: book publishers, and mall owners.