Oscars!! Or, Academy Awards!! It's all anyone's ever going to talk about until the rest of forever!! Or, at least until the end of today. Are you a weird nerd who didn't watch and doesn't get the joke when someone runs around the room shrieking "Gary Busey attack!!!" ? Do you not know that European people are slowly taking over this country by way of our most precious resource, beautiful awards? Well get with it! This is majorly important stuff here. After the jump, find our extremely useful list of bullet points.