A new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association proposes taking obese children away from their parents until their weight can be brought under control.

Our old friends at the Westboro Baptist Church—you know, the "God Hates Fags" guys—briefly expanded their gross little empire! To the FBI, of all things, where church big-shot Tim Phelps was invited to address agents several times "as part of the bureau's counterterrorism training program." Hmm.

Finally, someone to suck all the joy out of best-selling satirical children's book Go the Fuck to Sleep. In a column for CNN, Karen Spears Zacharias argues that violent language and implied bigotry mean "Go the Fuck to Sleep is not funny":

Brad Woodard from Houston's KHOU went to cover the fire at an oil storage tank, but the smoke seen billowing on camera wasn't just from the fire, it was coming from Woodard's mouth as well. When the camera cut to him, he was still smoking a cigarette.

The Los Angeles Times has read the congressional report on the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives operation called Fast and Furious during which federal agents sold 1,765 guns to Mexican smugglers (and then drug cartels), and guess what? It was a really bad idea.

Is your child's summer camp a bit too... Kenyan, let's say? Don't worry! There's still space at the weeklong "Tampa Liberty School," a camp designed to help children aged 8-12 learn about important concepts like Freedom and The Gold Standard.

Midtown nightlife hellhole Lavo has become known for their celebrity bottle service and hard-partying weekend brunches. Now it's taking the tackiness to a whole new level: "Bikini Brunch". Yes, female patrons will be encouraged to wear the skimpiest item in their wardrobe while eating their omelets.

The Limelight Marketplace, the collection of high-end food, clothing and design booths in the building that once housed storied nightclub Limelight, is employing a new tactic. It's going to turn itself into one big department store. This was always just a bad idea.

Dove VisibleCare body wash: "Visibly more beautiful skin." Bye-bye black skin, hello white skin! (Scrub hard!) Can this ad possibly be real? Some people think it is! We've emailed Dove's representatives for confirmation, and we'll update with their reply. If real, this could be the most (unintentionally) racist skin care product ad in... about ten months.

Members of Sea Shepherd, the least cool gang of self-styled pirates currently operating on the open seas, are setting off on an important new crusade: stopping tuna poaching off the coast of Libya.

An Israeli couple has named their newborn daughter "Like." It's unclear if Facebook was the direct inspiration for their choice, given that the father doesn't really use Facebook. But, still, pretty cruel!

What do you do when you want the world to know about the celebrity you creepily obsess about? Stamp their face on your arm, stomach, back or leg, obviously. Here are the best worst celebrity fan tattoos, people who permanently branded themselves with their fixations, and have absolutely nothing to regret. Because in 50 years, having a giant image of Criss Angel, Eminem, Avril Lavigne, Bono, or Clay Aiken will be just as cool as it is today, right?

You can't buy cool, but Google is determined to try. At its annual Google I/O conference in San Francisco, the company is unveiling a music service, and Fast Company hears that Lady Gaga is already shooting ads for it.

Yesterday was a big day for armed vigilantes in Texas. The state Senate first passed a bill that will allow "legislators, statewide elected officials, some former legislators and some state employees to carry their concealed weapons into churches, hospitals, bars, sporting events — even if a sign is posted saying weapons are prohibited." Do you foresee any problems arising from that?

After pricing crystal-studded bottles of water at $35 and $55, BlingH2O has now introduced a $2600 bottle of water. It's exactly the same as water they sell at Cracker Barrel, but with fancier packaging:

It doesn't seem like America's path towards deficit reduction will include Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to privatize and voucherize Medicare anymore, friends. Why? Because President Obama was such a jerk about it.

It's not a good idea, when you're on trial, to attack the prosecutor in the courtroom. But Emanuel D. "E Man" Mitchell had already been convicted of murder, so he probably figured he had nothing to lose.

Top Republican House members and activists are mulling over a plan to raise the debt limit slightly every two months, effectively giving them more hostage-taking opportunities to force spending cuts. Creditors probably wouldn't like such a permanent high-wire act.

Because the ranks of Scary Sadshaws will never diminish, those that are in love with both cupcakes and stupid cocktails made with flavored vodkas have demanded there should be a cupcake flavored vodka. This shit is seriously nasty.

Here's how not to make the world a safer place: The tiny Long Island village of Kings Point has installed cameras at every entrance that will automatically run cars that enter through a criminal database.