Holy wow. Ricky Gervais, the host of tonight's Golden Globes, just opened the show with one of the most unrelentingly harsh and uncomfortable monologues in awards show history—there was even a Tom Cruise/John Travolta gay joke! Watch inside.

The Golden Globes, which take place tonight, are known for their freebies Even rich and famous people love not paying for things! Each year's giveaways are more absurd than the last, and this year is no exception.

It's not even halfway through January, and we've already had two big rat-related stories! With the subway rat an apparent runner-up, BWE.TV's Michelle Collins has declared Ken, the Hoarders guy with 2,000 rats, as having the Best Week Ever.

Sunday night is Hollywood's drunkest gilded night of the year, the annual bestowing of Golden Globe awards upon the golden people who rule the globe. Who will win? Who will lose? Let's go category by category making some predictions.

Armond White, the film critic for the New York Press and chair of this year's New York Film Critics Circle Awards, kept insulting everybody at last night's award ceremony, prompting Annette Bening to issue a teary-eyed appeal for peace.

Hello! Are you watching TV tonight? You are? Awesome. Here's what you need to do: turn the channel to CBS at 9:00 PM and join us in the comments as we live blog The 37th Annual People's Choice Awards.

Perhaps Hollywood's most self-indulgent awards, for actors by actors, the SAGs are also often the best tea leaves to read to guess Oscar nominations. So pay attention! Here are this year's film and TV nominees.

Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo's chair sits empty at the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony today in Norway. Committee secretary Geir Lundestad (left) said, "We regret that the laureate is not present. He is in isolation in a prison in northeastern China."

China's beef with the Nobel Committee over its selection of dissident Liu Xiaobo for this year's Peace Prize has turned comical, with the government creating its own "Confucius Peace Prize," which will go to Taiwan's former VP this week.

Tina Fey received a fancy Mark Twain Prize in Washington last week, for being a funny person. But if you saw the taped ceremony on PBS Sunday night, you missed Tina Fey's mildly controversial live comments about Sarah Palin.

Last Tuesday, Tina Fey was honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Last night PBS aired the entire ceremony for the rest of us. It was filled with Tina's colleagues cracking jokes and sending their warmest congratulations.

Prominent Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo, who is serving an 11-year prison sentence for "inciting the subversion of state power," was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize today for his work toward nonviolent political change in China. [NYT]

David Simon, creator of The Wire, was among 23 recipients of the $500,000 MacArthur "Genius" grant. Clearly the MacArthur committee spent all last week watching The Wire instead of choosing geniuses and did this to justify their procrastination.

Chili science! Consciousness machines! Irradiated flaxseeds! Nano antennas! Venusian climates! Cali fossils! Rich awards! And a prima donna river! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—with the keen eye of an amateur!

The Creative Arts Emmys were held on Sunday, and—like in years past—the B-Rolls for the Outstanding Writing, Variety Series nominees were top-notch. At the very top of that heap? This unemployment-themed introduction video for Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show.

In your positive Monday media column: Richard Desmond buys a TV network, HuffPo personifies the mysterious blog world, Mitch Albom is celebrated for some reason, media job moves are afoot, and Kathie Lee and Hoda are still there.

An author named Molly Ringle has won the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which awards the worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel every year. We can see why what she wrote is bad, but is it that bad?

While some hole in Wisconsin called Stevens Point has the "best" water, New York comes in second. Which is better, because we don't look like we're trying too hard. And it's true! New York's water is delicious. Whose water isn't?

America was stricken Tony Awards fever on Sunday night! Well, maybe not fever. America was stricken by Tony Awards nagging-sore-throat-that-goes-away-after-a-cup-of-tea on Sunday Night! Want to know which famous people were given awards to entice people to watch?

Phyllis Nefler took a break from lounging by the pool issuing bon mots to the assembled C-list celebrities at her feet to score today's New York Times wedding announcements. It is Memorial Day weekend. Wedding season has begun in earnest.