As if Peter Brant didn't have enough to worry about now that he's in the middle of a messy divorce from Stephanie Seymour, a silk-screen painting by Andy Warhol which Brant put up for auction at Christie's on Tuesday night—and was estimated to be worth $6-8 million—found no takers. [NYT]

• Washington power lobbyists and Democratic insiders Tony and Heather Podesta have been busy bees since Barack Obama was elected last fall. According to a report earlier this week, the couple's separate lobbying firms have racked up $25 million in fees thus far in 2009. Now they're spending some of their earnings, it seems: The couple has picked up New York pied-à-terre, paying $3.247 million for a sixth-floor apartment at the Sohmer Piano Building at 170 Fifth Avenue. [Cityfile]
• Four months after it was pulled off the market, the Sloane Mansion on 68th Street has a new listing and a new broker. The 104-year-old mansion, which was purchased by bankers Joseph Ingrassia and John Rice III for $20 million in 2007 and was offered for $64 million last year, is now in the hands of Corcoran's Leighton Candler. And it's almost half the price it was a year ago. The new listing has it priced at $39 million. [NYO, Corcoran]
• A one-bedroom co-op at the Sherry-Netherland has gone on the market for $9.5 million with Brown Harris Stevens broker Richard Wallgren. [NYO]

In order to (partially) repay Bernie Madoff's victims, the Feds aren't just selling off his real estate; they're selling off every last knick-knack and bric-a-brac that might potentially raise a dollar, at auction. Sample the "Bull" crap bounty, below!

If you didn't get to bid on Bernie and Ruth Madoff's homes or cars, there's still time to get your hands on some Madoff memorabilia. More than 100 items that once belonged to the couple—including diamond earrings, Rolex watches, furs and what appears to be Ruth's diamond wedding ring—go up for auction on Saturday. Could there a better way to start off a marriage on the right foot than by giving the love of your life the ring that Bernie once gave Ruth? We sincerely doubt it. [NYP, US Marshals, previously]

Conde Nast overseer Si Newhouse desperately put his Alberto Giacometti sculpture, "L'Homme Qui Chavire"—for which he'd paid $20 million— up for auction at Sotheby's yesterday. He was expected to lose $10 million on the sale. He got lucky.

It looked like Condé Nast boss Si Newhouse was going to lose big when he put a prized sculpture up for auction at Sotheby's last night. But he ended up doing fine! Or close to it, least. Instead of losing as much as $10 or $12 million on the sale, he only came up $2.8 million short in the end:

Conde Nast potentate Si Newhouse is prepared to take a $10 million loss just to sell off some art and raise some cash. That can't be good.

It's been a brutal few weeks at Condé Nast as the magazine giant has shut down four magazines and slashed hundreds of jobs. The pain, however, isn't limited to the rank and file. A prized piece of art from the collection of Condé Nast chairman Si Newhouse goes up for auction tomorrow at Sotheby's and despite the fact he stands to lose much as $10 million by selling now at the market abyss, Newhouse has opted to try and unload the piece anyway. Desperate times call for desperate measures, it seems.

A New Jersey neurosurgeon named Gregory Przybylski is the proud new owner of Bernie Madoff's Mercedes station wagon. The fun-loving doc scooped up the vehicle (which he says is "a part of history") for $14,250 at a government auction last Friday. Meanwhile, the RV that once belonged to fraudster Sam Israel was auctioned off as well, selling to a Brooklyn car dealer for $27,500. [NYP]

Punch a Kardashian of your choice in the face for less than $300. Bid now.

Dan Lacey presents: "Tinsley Mortimer dressed as Eloise from The Plaza wearing a Kentucky Derby worthy hat being robbed by Fabiolo Beracasa dressed as Lady Bunny and Daphne Guinness dressed as Thomas Jefferson outside The Waverly Inn in New York."

A 2001 Mercedes-Benz E320 that used to be the property of Bernie Madoff (before the US Marshals Service came along and confiscated the keys, naturally) is going up for auction on October 23. It's a Ponzi scheme double-header, actually. Also on the block will be the RV that once belonged to imprisoned hedge fund manager/scam artist Samuel Israel and served as his escape vehicle, no less. [Dealbreaker]

For as little as $1,600, Michael Jackson's singed hair can be yours. [Sun]

Ever wish you could rest your rear end in a seat where the President and First Lady once sat? Now you can! The owners of the Belasco Theatre are auctioning off the seats that the Obamas sat in when they attended a performance of "Joe Turner's Come and Gone" during their "date night" in NYC last spring. [NYP]

We really can't imagine why, but Bernie Madoff's old assistant, Eleanor Squillari, has decided to auction off a portrait of Madoff that the fraudster gave her as a gift back in the late '80s. (Squillari mentioned the photo in the June issue of Vanity Fair: "Once, he gave me a picture of him taken by Karsh, the famous Canadian photographer, saying, 'Here, hang this over your bed.'") It's estimated to sell for between $3,000-$5,000. But hurry up! Bidding ends tomorrow. [Artnet via Dealbreaker]

In your fading Friday media column: America's most august lefty magazine learns how to makes Ca$h the Ebay way, Ivy League murder obsession explained, Suze Orman may wake you up soon, and some assholes still love Tom Friedman.

It's been a year since Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, an event that rocked the financial markets around the world, unleashed a wave of panic, and changed Wall Street forever. Did you think the merchants of Lehman memorabilia on Ebay would miss out on this priceless opportunity to offer up "one-year anniversary specials" of Lehman-branded junk? Of course they wouldn't.

Things appear to be looking up for the art market. After five months of consecutive falls, prices are finally beginning to rise again as buyers become more confident and auction houses get a bit more realistic about prices. The renewed confidence appears to be having a positive effect on the auction houses themselves: Shares of Sotheby's have nearly tripled over the last five months. And galleries seem to be more bullish, too. Earlier this week, it was reported that Larry Gagosian is planning to add to his chain of eight galleries with a location in Athens. But not every segment of the market is bouncing back. Experts say that areas that became over-inflated in recent years due to "speculative bidding" are still losing value. Steve Cohen isn't out of the woods just yet, in other words. [Wealth Bulletin]

Bob Guccione once lived like a king. The founder of Penthouse magazine, Guccione was once enormously wealthy (he made the Forbes 400 list in the early '80s), and he resided in a massively ornate townhouse off Fifth Avenue decorated with neo-Classical female busts, Byzantine style fountains, and carved marble commodes (above). Then he got a little too ambitious and tried to expand his empire by building a nuclear power plant (no joke) and a casino (slightly more plausible, but no more successful), and by the early '00s—just as the Internet was making his flagship magazine increasingly irrelevant—Guccione's business went bust.

Last night we mentioned a creepy auction of the Plato's Retreat-era marble fixtures that adorned Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione's notorious apartment. Here, from the auction house's web site, is a visual taste of how the Gooch lived in his heyday.