Not long ago, America's best and brightest young greedy bastards were piling into expensive law schools, confident they'd soon be wealthy older bastards. Then, law degrees became worthless. It's gotten so bad, young lawyers have resorted to doing something respectable.

How come law degrees are becoming more worthless every day? Because new law school grads can't find jobs. Why can't they find jobs? Because bitter old coot lawyers are clinging onto their offices for dear life. A vicious legal circle!

A porn star and a stripper are trying to beat prostitution charges on a grammatical technicality after prosecutors put "and" in a document where they should have put "or." Luckily for the women, they have a lawyer who—solely on the basis of the following quote—we picture (correctly, it turns out) to be a hilariously stereotypical sleazoid attorney:

The Way We Live Now: Beneath our proper stations. Respectable PR men and attorneys are now voluntarily doing so-called "other" jobs, like common hippie layabouts. The actual hippie layabouts are complaining because they lost their second jobs, to attorneys.