After wins for Hillary and Trump in yesterday’s primary and a number of complaints from voters, including Martha Stewart, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has announced that his office is conducting an investigation into the New York City Board of Elections.

With a vote of 56-43, Loretta Lynch became the 83rd U.S. Attorney General on Thursday. As her first act as AG, we propose she indict Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for delaying the nomination for several months. Or, better yet: just abolish the Senate altogether.

Loretta Lynch, the very qualified New York federal prosecutor who was nominated by President Obama in November to become the next attorney general, still hasn't been confirmed by the Senate. For some context: Lynch has waited twice as long for a vote than the seven most recent attorneys general combined. (Eric Holder's vote took eight days!)

New York is suing Donald Trump for $40 million because SPOILER ALERT: his Trump University is complete and total bullshit.

When former governor Eliot Spitzer announced his intention to run for New York City comptroller last week, he told the New York Times, "I’m hopeful there will be forgiveness, I am asking for it."

Like most people, we miss HBO's fantastic cop show The Wire a great deal. So we were heartened to hear that Attorney General Eric Holder has put the full weight of the Justice Department behind our cause:

Moss-covered property troll Donald Trump may have sacrificed a presidential bid in order to better serve the Celebrity Apprentice-watching people, but that doesn't mean he'll stop giving of himself. The man just gives and gives! Wait, did I say gives? I meant "takes"—as in $35,000 per course at his institute of higher earning, Trump U.