· The Feh blog answers accusations that their infamous "Salma- Hayek-in-a-John-Kerry-mask- mopping-an-overflowed-toilet-at-Penelope-Cruz's house" photo is a fake with...a picture of Cruz brandishing a mop! Mopping is fun when you're doing it recreationally!
· Absolutely, positively do not click through and read this unless you're willing to have your mind blown by perhaps the scariest species of superfan on the planet, the Clay Aiken worshipper.
· Our favorite part of Ashlee Simpson's concert rider: the "ubiquitous deli platter with appropriate condiments." My God, Ash, how can you possible leave your condiment choices up to the discretion of the venue personnel? What if they've never heard of chipotle mayo? You're courting disaster!
· Not everyone thinks being humiliated by Ashton Kutcher's B-team is so much fun. Future Punk'd victims: If Kutcher isn't going to bother to show up himself to hug you in his big, strong arms and tell that you that everything's gonna be OK, don't sign the release form. [scroll down to "Punked by Proxy"]
· This is one of the most unintentionally hilarious headlines we've ever seen.

Blogger Boi From Troy writes in to inform us that Ashlee Simpson's disastrous Orange Bowl appearance was doomed from the minute the crowd heard her name. Before she opened her mouth to treat football fans to the sound of that Satan eating kittens must make, the boos were already raining down.

· The eavesdropping ex-publicist from FX gets three years of probation for his spying antics after he was fired. The DA doesn't think the flack was remorseful. Doesn't he know that publicists lack the remorse gland?
· An Orange Bowl rep says that Ashlee Simpson was booed at their halftime show because of her SNL performance. This is going to come off as juvenile, but: No fucking duh, genius.
· How Many Things Are Wrong With the Following PR Quotable? Um, many.
· Teri Hatcher, Real-Life Desperate Housewife. Also, they're real and they're spectacular, etc etc.

The internets are absolutely ablaze with stories of Ashlee Simpson's appearance at last night's Orange Bowl halftime show (good news, we think the team from the local school where all the rich kids go to start their film careers won!), where Simpson eschewed the dreaded "guide vocal" for producing sounds best described as "the sound a tuberculotic infant would make after three days of being subjected to human rights violations at Abu Ghraib."