If you're like everyone else these days, you occasionally ask yourself, "What's the dumbest way that can I blow some of my disposable income?" Remember when State Senator Steve Smith (the "birther bill" guy) hatched a plan to accept donations to help build a fence along Arizona's border with Mexico? Well, their website went live today!

Have you ever wondered what it's like to cook meth with an armed Hells Angel named California Sack? Let this ex-con and former Aryan Brother, who once made $4 million in a year cooking and selling ice, explain:

Holy crap, not again. Chasing a home run hit at last night's MLB Home Run Derby at Chase Field in Phoenix, Keith Carmickle dove over a stadium barrier and would have crashed onto a deck by right field had his brother and friend not grabbed him in the nick of time:

We've been paying close attention over the last few years to the descent of Arizona from booming, comfortable retiree chain-store colony to foreclosed stucco race-warring hellscape, a bitterly dystopian prank from God where the only laws that exist are ones that Steven Seagal can enforce from a tank for his dumb reality TV show. It turns out that our efforts were all a waste of time! Instead, we just could've read this single story about State Sen. Lori Klein, who embodies everything we've come to love about the Death State.

Johnny Salazar was arrested in Arizona yesterday after he burned his 5-year-old son's hand and wrist with a lighter thinking he was possessed. Of course he did this because he was on America's favorite gonzo drug, bath salts. When will people cut the bath salts out, already?

An employee from a "top six publisher" forwarded us a grotesque work of inadvertent humor: Always Judge a Book by Its Cover, a proposed memoir by noxious narcissist and career slut-shamer Nik Richie, founder of TheDirty.com. Updated.

The hacking group Anonymous claims it's stolen and leaked personal emails and other documents—including "seductive girlfriend pictures"—belonging to Arizona Department of Public Safety officers. Hacker Summer continues.

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords made her first public appearance on Monday since being shot in the head in January, standing and waving to the crowd at a NASA awards ceremony held at Space Center Houston. She didn't speak publicly, but "appeared to chat with people sitting around her, and laughed" at the introduction of her husband's crew. As encouraging as the appearance might have been, Giffords' staff has been attempting to manage over-optimistic expectations; her doctors have said that it'll be at least a year before they have a sense of the extent of her recovery. [ABC News]

New age "guru" and friend of Oprah, James A. Ray — who charged people $10,000 to enter his Arizona sweat lodge of death, resulting in the deaths of three people in 2009 — was found guilty of negligent homicide yesterday.

Last weekend, Sen. John McCain made headlines when he inexplicably accused illegal immigrants of starting the wildfires currently ravaging Arizona. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out the absurdity of McCain's statements before conducting an interview with a McCain puppet—yes, a real puppet—about all of the other horrible things illegal immigrants have done to him.

Physics professor David C. Flory, of Fairleigh Dickinson University, is in police custody after he was arrested on 40 counts of promoting prostitution. The allegedly pimping professor was nabbed while sitting at a Starbucks in Albuquerque.

Bristol Palin's five-bedroom in Maricopa, Arizona—where she was supposed to live while attending Arizona State University, before she changed her mind and signed on to a Hollywood reality show—is now available as a rental. The price is $1400/month. Click on the image above to view full-size. [Realtor, photo of Bristol via Getty]

Arizona has been having some troubles again, this time with massive wildfires torching the already barren hellscape. You know why? Because it's a desert. All you need is, say, a golf club nicking a rock, or some other painfully simple action, and boom: death flames everywhere. Or you can just blame the illegal immigrants in their pyromanic fly-by-night encampments, as Sen. John McCain has.

After nearly five months of rehabilitation in a Houston hospital, Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was released yesterday, and is living at her husband Mark Kelly's home in the suburbs of Houston. She'll now begin an outpatient rehab program at the same hospital. The Arizona Republic spoke to Kelly yesterday:

The Los Angeles Times has read the congressional report on the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives operation called Fast and Furious during which federal agents sold 1,765 guns to Mexican smugglers (and then drug cartels), and guess what? It was a really bad idea.

New photos of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D - Ariz.)—the first to be publicly released since she was shot in the head in January—were published on her Facebook page by her staff on Sunday. In one, the congresswoman smiles next to her mother Gloria; in the other, she faces the camera directly. In an interview this week, Giffords' chief of staff Pia Carusone cautioned against over-optimistic expectations for her recovery, telling the Arizona Republic that her boss still has trouble communicating, and will be in outpatient therapy for months. Even so, it's nice to see the congresswoman's smile.

Almost six months after being shot outside a Tucson supermarket by gunman Jared Lee Loughner, Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is almost ready to leave the Houston rehab facility where she's been staying. Where she'll go is still unknown, but friends say she wants to return home.

It only seems fitting that an immigration law considered by many to be totally racist, and even more awful than Arizona's SB 1070, was signed into law yesterday in... Alabama. That state's incredibly creepy-looking governor, Robert Bentley, signed what he's calling "the strongest immigration bill in the country." The details, from Reuters:

Carey Hal Dyess, 73, drove around the Arizona town of Yuma, methodically shooting and killing his ex-wife, her divorce lawyer, and three others before killing himself. The lawyer, Jerry Shelley, was killed while packing his office. Today was retirement day.

Yesterday afternoon, Arizona's first weGrow franchise — a "superstore-sized garden center" that sells everything you need to grow weed — opened for business in Phoenix. And it sounds great. Besides being a one-stop shop for all of your growing needs, there are doctors on hand to help diagnose those "back spasms" you're dealing with: