Last March, Sarah Walker and her husband were arrested for soliciting a golden shepherd for sex via a Craigslist ad titled "Wife looking for K9." In June, both her and the husband escaped with probation after pleading guilty to charges of "conspiracy to commit bestiality."

Yes, sure, global warming is leading us inexorably down the path to all-out global war due to massive human displacement and destruction of resources. But let's focus on the real problem: what about ski resorts? What if people were forced to go skiing later in the season? Absolutely unacceptable. Fortunately, America is ready to tackle this problem head-on.

A new ad featuring survivors of the 2011 gun massacre in Tucson are calling out President Obama and Governor Romney for not doing more to prevent gun violence.

We've spent so much time focused on James Holmes and the Aurora shooting that we haven't heard much about Jared Lee Loughner, the last psychopath who opened fire on a crowd.

Good news, birthers — Joe Arpaio is sure President Obama's birth certificate is fradulent.

Arizona, the worst state in the country, is such a terrible place that even the two-year olds have turned to drink. When Valerie Marie Topete saw her two-year old son reaching for her pitcher of beer while the two were dining in a pizzeria in Phoenix, she did what any sane mother would do: she filled the toddler's sippy cup with delicious, cold suds. If your child was facing such an obviously awful existence, would you have acted differently? Not me. Well, sure enough some teetotaling, probably concealed-gun toting narc took it upon himself to snitch to the police, who not only arrested Ms. Topete but also had the nerve to take away the tot's beer. Now Topete is being held on suspicion of child abuse. And, from the AP report, "Police didn't know if she has a lawyer." Of course they don't know, because police in Arizona are know-nothing monsters. Anyway, if you guys want to start a Kickstarter to get her out of jail, let's move to the comments.

US Border Patrol Agents in Arizona celebrated America's then-upcoming birthday in the best way they know how: by being Constitution-abusing dicks. 96-year old Raul Castro, who served not only as Governor of Arizona (the only Latino governor Arizona has ever had, natch) but also a former US ambassador to Bolivia, El Salvador and Argentina, was on his way to a birthday party last month when he was detained by the Border Patrol for an estimated 30-45 minutes at a check point 22 miles away* from the Mexican border for giving off "possible" trace levels of radiation. Even after being told who Castro was and that the radiation was most likely from a medical procedure Castro received the day before, the Border Patrol insisted that the former Governor, who was wearing a suit, leave his air-conditioned car and stand inside a roadside tent, in temperatures nearing 100 degrees, while they tried to determine exactly what kind of dirty bomb the nonagenarian was smuggling. After deciding that the well-decorated public servant wasn't some illegal immigrant planning on blowing up Flagstaff, the Border Control let Castro and his friend/driver go.

Supporters of Arizona's mostly-struck-down immigration policies have continuously framed the issue as one of states' rights versus federal rights. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert suggested some other ways Arizona can assert its rights.

Both President Obama and Mitt Romney spoke at the NALEO conference last week just before the Supreme Court's decision about Arizona's controversial immigration laws. So who did a better job of getting his message across? On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it down.

In a much anticipated ruling, the Supreme Court struck down major parts of Arizona's immigration law, allowing the federal government and not the state to set immigration policy. The controversial "show me your papers" clause, however, was left in.

Earlier this week, the Arizona Department of Transportation took a page from the Whimsical Ideas Book of a wide-eyed substitute teacher and announced a "Twitter challenge," asking people to submit haikus to help promote dust storm safety.

A charred SUV with five bodies burned beyond recognition was found in Arizona's Vekol Valley. The deaths are thought to be a result of drug cartel violence, though investigators could not immediately determine the ethnicities or genders of the victims.

Arizona's Secretary of State Ken Bennett is the latest politician to call President Obama's birth certificate into question. Following Sheriff Joe Arpaio's investigation into the document, Bennett has now also identified the birth certificate as a forgery. He is demanding authentication from the state of Hawaii.

Despite the fact that Arizona has already banned public funding for abortion, Governor Jan Brewer signed an even more restrictive bill that bars funding to any organization that provides abortions — namely Planned Parenthood.

Ah, to be a Democrat in Arizona. A bill that House Minority Leader Chad Campbell is calling "the most poorly crafted bill in this state" is nearing Governor Jan Brewer's desk.

Unemployment is down in swing states, which means support for Barack Obama is up. Recent polls show the president has an advantage over Republican candidate Mitt Romney. And it's still the economy, stupid.

¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!

Arizona couple Shane and Sarah Walker were arrested for trying to fuck a dog. Their first mistake, it seems, was all in the Craigslist ad they posted: "Wife looking for K9." Sure it's simple and it's concise, but posted in the personal ads, it doesn't leave a whole lot of mystery. Mystery, say, in case an undercover animal crimes detective is prowling the site looking for just such a couple to take down in a sting, all To Catch a Predator style.

Wonder of wonders! Prominent republican and former presidential candidate John McCain has come forward and said something almost entirely sensible about the contraception debate.

Finger-pointing Arizona governor Jan Brewer made double headlines today by endorsing Mitt Romney and turning down an invitation from President Barack Obama. Yep, that'll do it.