Scottsdale, Arizona's raunchiest porn scribe, Ben Quayle—spawn of America's greatest vice president—has resurfaced with his latest congressional campaign ad. Get your paper and pencil ready now, because young Master Quayle has some important numbers to share.

Ben Percy, Thomas Meadows and Anthony Goshorn are all running for statewide office on the Green Party ticket in Arizona. All three are "street people." And all three were recruited not by the Greens, but by a Republican operative. Huh?

Just a few days after a stranger threw acid in a Washington woman's face, an M.O.-stealing copycat has attacked another woman in Arizona.

No More Deaths, an aid organization that tries to prevent border-crossers from dying in the desert, as they do in droves, is celebrating a Ninth US Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that leaving water bottles in the desert isn't littering.

The Justice Department has thrown yet another lawsuit at America's loony desert dingbat moon colony, Arizona. This one, however, was filed against obnoxious self-serving tyrant Joe Arpaio, sheriff of Maricopa County, for refusing to cooperate in a civil rights investigation.

Hey, Arizona immigration law haters who are looking for some schadenfreude: it's popcorn time. Because here's a clip of Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer last night giving one of the worst debate opening statements... ever? Sure, let's go with "ever."

A new poll shows that one-third of New Jersey voters think the Jersey Shore guidos act out because they're from New York. Will the Garden State leave this issue alone? The state clearly has bigger image issues to worry about.

Last night, American politics changed forever: hilarious sex dingbat Ben Quayle successfully purchased a congressional primary victory in Arizona, with father Dan Quayle's credit card. Hear that, smearmongers? Don't ever question the Scion of Quayle again.

A bunch of states held primary elections on Tuesday night, and I know what you're thinking: More elections, really? Can't Obama do something about that? But don't despair! These ones featured America's second choice for President, Arizona Senator John McCain!

It's primary day in Arizona! And a nation wonders: Will hilarious, pseudonymous porn scribe Ben Quayle, Dan Quayle's weird kid, overcome the adversity and win his congressional primary? Who knows! But he's enlisting daddy's help for a final push.

It sure would be funny if John McCain lost his Arizona Senate primary tomorrow to dumb, corrupt, infomercial-starring ex-congressman J.D. Hayworth. Sadly, McCain's all but guaranteed a blowout victory. Sometimes bolting shamelessly to the right works! Having money helps, too.

The Arizona cousin/fiancee fugitive couple John McClusky and Casslyn Welch (a former white supremacist drug mule!) were arrested yesterday at a campground in eastern Arizona, ending their three-week odyssey of jail breaking, killing, burning and visiting National Parks. Bummer. [AP]

[A rancher from Southern Arizona stands underneath a flag-bedecked wall dividing the Mexico-US border. He was attending a Union Border Coalition Tea Party Rally in support of Arizona's immigration law, SB1070.] (Pic by AP)

Casslyn Welch, one half of the cousin/fiancee "Bonnie and Clyde" couple from Arizona, became a federal informant after being caught with drugs bound for white supremacists in prison. She's no Butt Smuggler, but did sneak heroin into prison three times.

First it was Yellowstone. Then it was Glacier National Park. Now, the incestuous "Bonnie and Clyde" fugitive couple from Arizona are thought to be near the Ozark National Forest in Arkansas. Are they on some sort of National Parks tour?

Former Vice President Dan Quayle's son, Ben, is running for Congress in Arizona, where he lives with his imaginary children. Remember how Dan Quayle was famously airheaded? Well, as Ben's campaign progresses, it's becoming obvious that he inherited that gene.

The men who escaped from an Arizona prison last week are running around killing and burning people.

Ben Quayle, the son of Vice President Dan Quayle, is running for Congress in Arizona. Here, he announces that he and his wife Tiffany "are going to raise our family here." Awww. Those are his daughters, right? No? Wait, what?

Bill O'Reilly is obsessed with Lady Gaga—this is fact (examples here). Tonight, O'Reilly spent a portion of his show discussing Gaga's refusal to cancel an Arizona show in protest of the state's controversial immigration law. More inside.

Sarah Palin hit Fox News Sunday to throw her support behind Arizona in its fight over the immigration law, adding that her pal Governor "Jan Brewer has the cojones that our President does not have" to deal with immigration.