Russell Pearce, the Arizona state senator who drafted the state's infamous "papers, please" immigration law last year and was rewarded with the title of Senate president, may, impossibly enough, lose his job today, in the first recall election of a sitting lawmaker in the state's history. Is Arizona finally getting its act together? Hmm.
Having systematically driven the traditional "small town American" hardware store, drug store, grocery store, clothing store, auto parts store, and general store out of business, Wal-Mart has been sitting around, scratching its imaginary head, wondering "What part of traditional American business can I co-opt next, further reducing the traditional American downtown business district to a desolate wasteland and forcing citizens to conduct any and all monetary transactions beneath the sheltering sky of harsh neon lights inside of our very own big, inescapable box?"
Halfwit tabloid sex perv Andrea Peyser has a major Republican sex fetish. Yes, fine, that's a matter of record. But Andrea is, first and foremost, a professional sexxx journalist, and she takes that duty quite seriously. So it's alarming to learn that—in Andrea's unbiased opinion—Sharon Bialek (pictured), who yesterday accused Herman Cain of sexual assault, is a gold-digging slutty slutwhore bad mom welfare queen (and ugly).
In a verdict that will please every American who goes into a convenience store, a judge ruled that the FDA can't make cigarette companies put graphic and disgusting anti-smoking warnings on their packaging. Thank god.
In your manic Monday media column: Hackgate grows marginally dirtier, journalism majors make dat money, Malcolm Gladwell on Steve Jobs, the media lies, and Martin Nisenholtz retires.
Who on earth would play Princess Di in a movie? There is no one more needlessly deified on either side of the pond and no actress is going to be able to survive the scrutiny of such a performance. Well, Jessica Chastain is brave enough to try. The British press are going to have a field day with this!
Here we are, two months into the Christmas shopping season. Have you finished? No, because you didn't start in September like you were supposed to. Well, not to worry; corporate America is doing everything in its power to make you feel guilty about your laziness and poverty of ideas as well as money for several more hours, this holiday season.
On Wednesday, Texas is scheduled to execute Hank Skinner for the murders of three people. For years, his lawyers have sought DNA testing of unanalyzed evidence, the results of which could prove his innocence—but the courts have rejected their requests every time. The "ultimate justice" machine stops for no one!
Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.
To end these terrible falsehoods about fatherhood once and for all, beloved boy wonder Justin Bieber will give up some of his sacred DNA and (presumably) prove stuntwoman Mariah Yeater to be a trouble-making lying-liar-lady. The test will take place in two weeks, TMZ reports. It won't be broadcast live on pay-per-view for only $49.95, we're pretty sure.
Trying to capture a single escaped prisoner usually requires a coordinated effort by law enforcement, tips from the public, and sometimes a superhero or two. So just imagine the chaos that would ensue if thousands of inmates were suddenly released from their cells. Logistical nightmare in ALL-CAPS.
The resilient, rough chuckles-enduring people of Detroit put up with dog poop air, crime-ring moms, crime-ring stray dogs, fake Koch evictions, and 1,001 other ills. But they refuse to sit through a Nickelback half-time show during this Thanksgiving's Lions-Packers game. Uninspired Canadian crap rock is where they draw the line.
