The Italian press is full of reports that the Catholic Church will boycott the sequel to The Da Vinci Code, which will fail spectacularly as the latest marginal cultural wars led by the new Pope.

The outrage beast is hungry, and ABC News is feeding it a new story: JPMorgan Chase officials are fighting hard to build a new, $18 million private-jet hangar in Westchester County.

Wow, some nutty investor is actually buying into that harebrained scheme to turn the money-bleeding San Francisco Chronicle into a (purposely) nonprofit paper.

Barack Obama won the presidency by refusing to play into the tit-for-tat frenzy of the campaign news cycle. Now he should really show he's a grownup and axe the daily White House press briefing.

You've disappointed us, but we shall abide by the will of the People: Bernard Madoff won our poll to identify the face of the New Depression with 29% of the vote.

You can't win, White House press corps. Your frantic and stupid attempts—motivated by a misplaced sense of fair play—to pin down Barack Obama as a gaffe-prone president won't work. Here's why.

The suits have jumped into the Jim Cramer-Jon Stewart drudge match: NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker and Viacom CEO Philippe Daumann traded jabs today over their corporate assets at today's McGraw Hill Media Summit.

Maybe we are facing a violent populist revolution: A Republican senator and ranking member of the finance committee is inviting the death of those AIG executives who accepted $165 million bonuses.

Europeans just love Barack Obama, since he's not constantly calling them names and touching them inappropriately like his predecessor. So the Germans named some terrible fried chicken product after him, as an homage.

It sounds like Jon Stewart will be giving Daily Show guest Jim Cramer the Tucker Carlson treatment: The Daily Show's Thursday taping ran way over schedule as Stewart "repeatedly chastised" Cramer, AP reports.

The heartwrenching saga of the Wasilla Hillbillies, the most recent installment of which features the dramatic break-up of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, cries out for a reality show. It could be on VH1.

Following Star's tabloid scoop on the breakup of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, the more respectable press sprung into action, discovering the split happened weeks ago. People is off to Alaska to learn more.

L.A. prosecutors have charged 19-year-old R&B singer with beating his girlfriend, fellow artist Rihanna. He could get almost five years in jail if convicted of the two felonies.

"Once every hundred years, media changes," Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said in 2007, predicting a sea change in online advertising. The reality: His social network is leading the way in online scams.

Bill Moyers told the Washington Post he couldn't remember whether he launched investigations into White House homosexuals. But when the paper's online cousin picked a fight over the issue, the memories came flooding back.

With Slumdog Millionaire sweeping the Academy Awards — eight Oscars including best picture — and Kate Winslet taking best actress for The Reader, only Sean Penn's best actor win for Milk managed to surprise.

J. Edgar Hoover's FBI investigated late movie-lobby chief Jack Valenti for homosexuality, the Washington Post reports. Interesting. But what about evidence ernest PBS liberal Bill Moyers requested similar probes?

If you think chimpanzees are cute little hairy quasi-humans, you are right. But they are also cute little hairy quasi-humans that will bite your nose and fingers off (literally) if given half a chance.

In today's Anna Wintour image rehabilitation news, the Vogue editor is reportedly filmed at yet another charity ball and gives the WSJ an interview. But she called the reporter huge. Whoops!

Lawyers for ConnectU are bragging about winning a $65 million settlement for their clients from Facebook. But what did Divya Narendra and Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss really get from Mark Zuckerberg? Almost nothing.