An enormous explosion just rocked San Bruno, California, a suburb just above San Francisco International Airport. Like, really big: A whole block is on fire with 200-foot flames. Six people are in critical condition. What the hell is going on?

Google is paying some people around half a million dollars not to go to Facebook, a senior Facebook engineer has confirmed. Googlers, prepare to get spoiled and entitled again, recession be damned.

A dozen American soldiers in Afghanistan are being charged in connection with an alleged string of murders of Afghani civilians "for sport." Investigators say the soldiers killed random civilians, and took their fingers as souvenirs.

Florida psychopastor Terry Jones now says that if President Obama calls him, well, maybe then he'll call off his church's 9/11 Koran BBQ. These fameballs get so pathetic by the end. They just want souvenirs. [Image: AP]

[Actors Ben Affleck and Jon Hamm gape, helplessly, as hundreds of photographs are taken at last night's premiere of their movie The Town at the Venice Film Festival. Photo via AP.]

[A firefighter rescues a dog during flash floods today in Arlington, Texas. Aw. Photo via AP]

[Work crews put the final touches on the tents at Lincoln Center in preparation for Fashion Week, which officially kicks off tomorrow. Image via AP]

A French soccer team won't let one of its veteran players, Yoann Lemaire, back on the team after he came out of the closet and took a sabbatical. It appears what team you play for really matters.

Barack Obama gave a solid speech in Ohio today, attacking Republican policies and obstructionism, and outlining several new economic initiatives. Reporters are giddy over his new tone of "populism," which is... what, exactly?

Happy first day of school! What do we have to complain about? All types of things! The schedule is stupid. The prices of school supplies are out of control. The bus is late. And hey, stop shooting us!

[Colorado is on fire. Well, part of it, anyway: This is from outside of Boulder; some 92 structures have been destroyed and another eight damaged. Pic via AP.]

For the second night in a row, a crowd gathered in Los Angeles to protest the fatal police shooting of a Guatemalan day laborer—but things quickly devolved as police fired "at least two volleys of nonlethal projectiles."

[Tuesday was Brazil's Independence Day! Happy Independence Day, Brazil! This guy—a supporter of Workers Party candidate Dilma Rousseff—brought a sign to the parade. It says: "Lula and the people vote for Dilma for the nation." Pic via AP.]

World's shortest man Khagendra Thapa Magar visited New York and "confessed he was taken by the city's tall blonde women." When a 22-inch man from Nepal says tall blondes are the hottest women, international beauty standards are officially fucked.

Steven Slater—the JetBlue flight attendant who stormed off the job via inflatable slide—reported to court today as he negotiates with prosecutors to avoid jail time. While awaiting their moment before the judge, Slater's lawyer shared some new details.

Members of Congress are finally heading back to their jobs after an entire month of summer vacation. And, to their disgust, they have important work ahead: determining the future of the expiring Bush tax cuts. What will they do?

David Westin is resigning from his position as president of ABC News, which he's held since 1997, apparently because of a "long-running conflict... over the financial standing of the news division." Of course! Want to read his resignation note?

[A costumed woman marches in Brooklyn's West Indian Day Parade today. Photo via AP.]

Just a few days after a stranger threw acid in a Washington woman's face, an M.O.-stealing copycat has attacked another woman in Arizona.

Good news for mutants everywhere: The genetically-modified AquAdvantage® salmon has cleared a major hurdle in its slow migration toward the inside of Americans' stomachs. The FDA says that the AquAdvantage® salmon "is as safe as food from conventional Atlantic salmon."