Yesterday the FBI arrested over 100 people around New York for mafia ties and "classic mob hits," and some of them have awesome names: "Jack the Whack, Marbles, Skinny, Jonny Pizza, Junior Lollipops, Jimmy Gooch and Baby Fat Larry."

[A Boeing Delta 4 Heavy rocket, which may someday be used to send humans into space, rises from the launch pad during its first unmanned launch in California. Image via AP]

Washingtonians were amazed to hear that one of its actual royals, Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, bothered to show up for local jury duty today. Isn't that pain-in-the-ass civic duty for commoners and cats to perform? Fortunately, she wasn't selected.

Pedestrian deaths increased in 2010, and it was Michelle Obama's fault. This is what we're learning today! Specifically: Maybe if Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign wasn't urging people to exercise regularly, cars would hit them less often?

Wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is playing with an iPad now, which, according to her doctors, "indicates a high level of cognitive functioning." Apple always wins! If she were playing with a Dell or Samsung tablet, it wouldn't be as significant.

Conservative saboteur Andrew Breitbart, the man behind the ACORN "pimp" and not-racist NAACP videos, has a new project lined up: grinding balls with gay conservatives at a "big ol' gay party" in early February. Have you made your travel arrangements?

Up until now, a curtain dropped abruptly and that was it. Now the trouble-plagued Turn Off the Dark is getting a real ending: more flying! That's smart, having one last chance to get an accident in before everyone goes home.

A lengthy new report on the 2002 kidnapping and murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl says that a photo of a hand definitively proves that 9/11 plotter Khalid Sheik Mohammed killed and decapitated Pearl, on video.

[Paul the Psychic Octopus, who correctly predicted World Cup match winners, was honored today at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany with this monument. Paul died in October. Image via AP]

First, former dictator "Baby Doc" returned to Haiti, but was quickly detained. Now, ex-President Jean-Bertrand Aristide says he just wants to return as a "simple citizen in the field of education," and because his eye doctor told him to. [NYT]

Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who threatened to burn a Koran last 9/11, has been banned from Britain. He was trying to attend a far-right rally but was denied entry because he's awful. Can we ban him from America, too?

[One of the lavish place settings for tonight's state dinner at the White House in honor of Chinese President Hu Jintao. A pic of the State Dining Room getting prepped for the meal of meat, potatoes and pie below.]

After a typically insane floor debate, for which Rep. Anthony Weiner made drinking game suggestions, the House voted to repeal Democrats' health care reform law, 245-189. The "Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act" will now die in the Senate.

The Thierry Mugler men's show—featuring Lady Gaga's new single and co-designed by her stylist Nicola Formichetti—opened Paris Fashion Week today. All the models wore plastic bags and one even looked like a zombie. Did we expect anything less?

The State Department has released a list of gifts to federal employees, including President Obama, from foreign governments in 2009. (Diplomats have been playing with them for a full year.) So which foreign dignitary gave our president the cheapest gift?

Someone pulled a "Bill Daley" and fainted at today's White House ceremony with Chinese President Hu Jintao! It was Deborah Mullen, wife of Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen. She's fine, but will Sino-American relations ever recover? [Photo via AP]

In your fleeting Wednesday media column: Robert Thomson is staying put, new offices for the HuffPo, ironic union troubles at Harper's, David Pecker is beloved without ever ordering anyone to love him, and A.J. Daulerio, profiled.

New York City has the biggest income disparity of any big city in America. In completely unrelated news: guess how much Goldman Sachs pays it partners? Just try to guess!

Shameless crook and former New York state senator Pedro Espada has always had a liberal interpretation of what he could purchase with public money: a job for his son, $20,000 worth of sushi, etc. And now: a half-finished memoir!

[The weather in Brooklyn, N.Y. was really gross on Tuesday, as the poor person shoveling the sidewalk here could have told you. Image via AP]