An outfit called My Porn Production hopes to add one more title to the growing international finance porn genre by making a film about ex-IMF chief/brutal love machine Dominique Strauss-Kahn and his recent hotel sex scandal, which involved rape allegations. Sexy! Will you make a financial donation and support the arts?

Harold Camping—aka "the guy with all the Raptures"—says he's "embarrassed" that his last two failed doomsday predictions on May 21 and October 21 did not pan out. In fact, he even admits that, "incidentally," he was wrong.

The House will vote on a resolution "reaffirming ‘In God We Trust' as the official motto of the United States" today. What? It's just your run-of-the-mill reaffirmation of something that wasn't threatened at all. No pandering here, folks.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

In Los Angeles, a Halloween reveler dressed up in a Smurf costume crossed paths with some alleged gang members and ended up getting shot in the calf, round-the-clock Halloween news source the L.A. Times reports. The Smurf had only been trying to help his girlfriend—who was also dressed as a Smurf—after one of the so-called gang members had punched her; he's now in stable condition.

Just because Herman Cain '12 made an ad featuring chief of staff Mark Block as some kind of kooky, hatless Marlboro Man does not mean that you should start smoking, or that smoking will make you look like a suave campaign operative, or any such thing. No, the takeway of that commercial was this: "let people be people," and also (and more importantly?) "Mark Block smokes."

Uh-oh: The name of Italian prime minister and oversexed jack-o-lantern Silvio Berlusconi shows up in the U.S. State Department's Trafficking in Persons 2011 report. Can you guess why? If you said, "Hmmmm, well I bet it's because he had illegal relations with that Moroccan 17-year-old dancer, Karima El Mahroug, at his haunted villa of horrors," then reward yourself with a handful of delectable Mellowcreme pumpkins, because you are right.

Today we learned that Lifetime's crown jewel, America's Next Top Model, is bringing us a très chic scent. But what could "Dream Come True" possibly smell like? One commenter knows the make-up of the powerful fragrance.

The no-fun brigade at the FDNY took all of Occupy Wall Street's gas generators this morning, leaving them without power or heat as an especially chilly weekend approaches.

We're at the point in the presidential campaign where Herman Cain was supposed to be dropping out and having a nice, leisurely tour to promote his latest motivational book. And yet here he is having to give, and screw up, all of these national media interviews all the time, as the frontrunner. Some "supporters" those supporters are, giving him all of this support! It's time to "slow down," says his campaign.

Thank God the Senate was finally able to kill those jobs so quickly! Now the nation's top senators can return to the usual business of using their elevated positions to funnel money and prestige to institutions in their home states.

Not so long ago, Bank of America decided that a good way to refill its slightly-less-bulging-than-usual pockets would be to charge people a monthly fee for their debit cards. "This won't cause a massive public backlash at all, probably," they thought to themselves, while setting a box of puppies aflame.

AFP tells us that Italian director Romeo Castellucci's production of the play On the Concept of the Face, Regarding the Son of God features the face of Jesus "drizzled in excrement." The Guardian explains the poop on Jesus' face comes from "an excremental stream pouring from his right eye-socket." Sounds a bit like an extreme version of a Gallagher show!

Remember how the newspaper industry was devastated by the fundamental shift in media consumption habits driven by the internet, and the music industry was devastated by the fundamental shift in media consumption habits driven by the internet? Yes, well. The radio industry is also being devastated by the fundamental shift in media consumption habits driven by the internet. FYI.

Steve Jobs was a true obsessive. He pored over every tiny detail of every product, every ad, every store, every thing related to Apple.

The first man in U.S. history to be successfully convicted of organ-trafficking is a 60-year-old man from Brooklyn named Levy Izhak Rosenbaum. Prosecutors say he would farm his kidneys in Israel, paying as little as $10,000 for one. He'd then transport them to the U.S., where he'd sell them for upwards of $120,000 to grumpy bubbies waving crumpled Take-A-Numbers and grumbling, "What? You got nothing fresher?" over a backroom butcher case.

The Texas Tea Party Patriots, using what must be an alternative pricing model, will charge $200 for general admission to its upcoming "modified Lincoln-Douglas style debate" between Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain.

Marian Thompson, the widow of an exotic pet enthusiast who unleashed 56 dangerous animals into Zanesville, Ohio before committing suicide, wants her leopards back.

After a few masterfully terrible debate performances over the last couple of months, Team Rick Perry may just declare victory and skip out on the many, many remaining debates. He might have scheduling issues on those nights, you know? On all of those nights. Deal with it.

Creepy psycho circus clown Michael Lohan has been arrested for the second time in three days—this time for allegedly trying to contact his girlfriend Kate Major, which he wasn't supposed to do because he just allegedly threatened to throw her off a fourth-floor balcony and The Law told him to leave the lady alone.