aporkalypse-now

Swine Flu Hits Village Voice

Pareene · 05/08/09 12:58PM

Everyone has stopped caring about the Swine Flu, except at still-publishing O.G. alt-weekly The Village Voice, where an intern was just diagnosed with it!

Everything Everywhere Closed. Swine Flu.

Hamilton Nolan · 05/01/09 10:39AM

Remember how after 9/11, every backwater public library in Iowa and auditorium in Missouri spent millions terrorist-proofing themselves, JUST TO BE READY? Swine flu panic is the new that.

The Flu Is Coming From Inside the White House!

John Cook · 04/30/09 01:27PM

A member of Barack Obama's security detail has contracted a suspected case of the swine flu—this outbreak has Barack "The Typhoid President" Obama's fingerprints all over it.

Joe Biden: Run to the Hills, Run For Your Life

John Cook · 04/30/09 09:44AM

Joe Biden went on the Today Show this morning and very calmly explained that you are going to die from swine flu if you don't lock yourself in a safe room now.

PANDEMIC LEVEL 5!

Pareene · 04/29/09 04:06PM

The World Health Organization just raised the pandemic alert to Level 5! That is is the second-highest level! We will literally all be dead by the end of the year, it is now 100% certain.

Deadly Swine Flu Panic Sweeps TV Journalists!

Hamilton Nolan · 04/27/09 03:21PM

Washing your hands hundreds of time: will it save you? From swine flu, maybe. But not from the pig disease death meme that has claimed the minds of many of our nation's television news stars!