So we now have a name and a face to put to the voice heard around the world — the prick of a Southwest pilot whose hateful thoughts on the "gays, grannies and grandes" of the flight crew were accidentally broadcast and caught on tape for all to hear.

Following Bam Margera's outrage over a Roger Ebert tweet about Jackass star Ryan Dunn's death ("friends don't let jackasses drink and drive") Ebert has taken to his blog.

"Hey, uh, Vancouver? Sorry for the violent riots." That's what a handful of regretful Canadians are saying on blogs, Facebook pages and media reports after they were linked to last week's downtown Vancouver hockey riot.

Fox Business host Eric Bolling, the guy who this week expressed concern over President Obama hosting "hoodlums" in the "hizzy," and who just weeks ago worried about "Obama chugging 40s", has apologized for getting "a little fast and loose with the language."

In an interview with his old Def Comedy friend Russell Simmons, embattled comedian Tracy Morgan expressed remorse about the ugly anti-gay statements he made during a recent show.

And on the fifteenth minute of his Nazi scandal, Lars von Trier issued an apology to Israeli newspaper Haaretz:

Botox Mom Kerry Campbell (who might not be "Kerry Campbell" at all, but a multi-named mystery chupacabra of indeterminate origin) has returned to The Sun, the publication where her insanity spree began, to apologize for shooting botulism into her 8-year-old daughter's face, then bragging about it on TV.

Company execs appeared at a press conference to apologize for the April 19 hack attack, which might have compromised the credit card info of 10 million customers. It's a holiday weekend and everything, so they must be pretty serious.

Quizzical mustache John Stossel, the former ABC Newsman who took his stories about how poor people are faking it to Fox News two years ago, continues to humiliate his former employer in his absence. Today, four years after Stossel falsely accused a pastor of leading a lavish lifestyle in a 20/20 segment, the network was forced to issue an apology.

Orange County, California Tea Party Patriot™ Marilyn Davenport, who last week found herself in hot water after forwarding a picture of President Obama's face superimposed on the body of a chimp in an email to friends, has felt the GOP arm-twisting and decided to apologize:

American genius David Byrne recently settled his copyright complaint against former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who used a Talking Heads song without permission in his U.S. Senate campaign, by making Crist film this 90-second abject apology and post it to YouTube.

The German newspaper Der Spiegel somehow got its hands on photographs of U.S. soldiers posing with a corpse, and published them, and the Army wants you to know it feels really terrible. "Today Der Spiegel published photographs depicting actions repugnant to us as human beings and contrary to the standards and values of the United States Army," spokesman Col. Thomas Collins said in a statement. "We apologize for the distress these photos cause." The photos apparently depict Cpl. Jeremy Morlock and PFC Andrew Holmes—both charged, along with three others, with killing Afghan civilians—posing with the corpse of an Afghan man named Gul Mudin (Morlock, in his photo, is apparently "smiling as he lifts the head of a corpse by the hair"). Well, no hard feelings, Army! Let's maybe just keep the war crimes to a minimum in the future, okay? [NYDN]

The professor behind Northwestern University's Hot Live Fucksaw demonstration has issued a statement today — and he's a little bit sorry, maybe. The Daily Northwestern has the full text of Prof. John Michael Bailey's apology, but here are some highlights:

Disgraced former Dior designer John Galliano issued a statement today apologizing for his anti-Semitic tirade but also denying the claims against him, saying he was provoked into making the offensive remarks.

Incessant coupon-offering behemoth Groupon made a jokey Super Bowl ad about Tibet that didn't go over well with... well, anyone. (Yes, even though it was for charity, okay.) After a week of vague public anger about this relatively unimportant topic, the company is finally pulling the ads, reasoning—correctly—that the drama is not accomplishing the ostensible purpose of the ads, which is to help Groupon become a mighty, unavoidable middleman in the buying and selling of goods in America.

Jersey Shore's Snooki took to the Wendy Williams Show to give a heartfelt apology for the mean-spirited YouTube video she and JWOWW recently made about Joy. Today on The View, Barbara played the footage—and immediately corrected Snooki's grammar.

Heavily accented internet mogul Arianna Huffington is, at last, speaking out on the wanton airplane Blackberry incident that had police questioning her earlier this month. To her credit, she's contrite. She's also disingenuous.

After Chris Brown called Raz B a "butplugged" "homothug," Raz's brother Ricky Romance threatened Chris with murder. Now Ricky's burying the hatchet, and his Jabberwock-like apology—featuring words like "fallaciloquences," "eclaircise," and "humgruffin"—is a work of art.

Facebook is sorry for forcing you to interact with people in the real world for 30 minutes yesterday

Still not sure what ABC reality show this is from, but here we have a guy apologizing to a girl for calling her a slut. Except it's apologizing in the worst way imaginable, for someone who seems to be genuine.