Texas Governor Rick Perry, the product yielded if you mix a can of hairspray with an old leather trench coat, is telling reporters that his wife used "the wrong word" when she said recently that she believes abortion is a right. Ha ha ha. That crazy woman. Thank goodness her husband is here to set things straight.

Today we saw a different, more agile, more feline side of Rick Perry. That silent way in which he stalks his prey is just one among an impressive, um, skill set? One commenter thinks this strange collection of talents Perry has exhibited can be boiled down to a simple numbers game.

Rick Perry's latest ad, "American Story," starts off with a good concept: It eliminates "Rick Perry" from the ad altogether, instead leaving things to his wife, Anita. She tells us about their early years, like when Rick Perry joined the Air Force and "flew planes all over the world." Okay, fine. But then, around, :24, her husband makes his entrance. Nay — he makes the campaign ad entrance of the year, hopping onto a ledge. Oh my God. [Standing ovation.]

Rick Perry's wife, Anita, has an explanation for his terrible collapse in presidential polls over the last month: That Perry has been "brutalized," by everyone, over his deep faith to God. This is a questionable assertion!