Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt stopping off for a bite to eat at a branch of Cafe Metro in Midtown on Sunday ... Reese Witherspoon arriving at JFK on Monday night and crossing the street yesterday ... Hugh Jackman, Dustin Hoffman, John McEnroe, and Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist attending a Knicks game ... Ashlee Simpson shopping at FAO Schwarz and Barneys with her sister, husband and baby ... Dancing with the Stars' Derek Hough getting out of a cab in Midtown ... Naomi Watts checking her phone while walking downtown ... and Mary-Kate Olsen leaving her apartment clearly unprepared for the cold weather.

[One of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's brood would rather eat a PB&J at lunch in Manhattan. Image via INF]

Because the gossips say they're working on a new baby, but I'm not sure we can believe it until the beard is accounted for. Kevin Jonas is getting married, Snooki lost her job, Elin Nordegren hires a lawyer. TGIFriday Gossip.

• A-Rod dumpee Kate Hudson was "consoled" by fellow Rodriguez ex Madonna at the premiere of Nine on Tuesday night. As for A-Rod, he was spotted in Miami yesterday, where he supposedly made the moves on a blonde at a restaurant but came up short. There's hope for A-Rod and Kate yet, though. The two have reportedly been speaking on the phone this week, and Hudson is still hoping they can patch things up. [P6, NYDN]
• A car that Anne Hathaway was riding in struck a cyclist in LA yesterday. Thankfully, Anne emerged unscathed. But ever the good girl, she hopped out of the car to tend to the biker and was photographed looking concerned. [TMZ, People]
• Today in Tiger: Elin Nordegren has supposedly made up her mind that she's leaving him, and has been shopping for divorce attorneys before she plans to head to Sweden for Christmas; Woods' high school girlfriend is now blaming the whole mess on Tiger's father, who may have been a serial cheater; Jessica Simpson is denying reports she ever hooked up with the golfer; and as for Tiger himself, he's supposedly spent the past few days holed up at home where he spends his time eating cereal, watching cartoons, and feeling depressed.

Brad goes out of town and Angie flies into a depressive rage, Madonna's face is bloated (with restylane?), Anne Hathaway is in a car crash with a stylish cyclist. Thursday's gossip is full of peril.

[Angelina Jolie loves Muhammad Ali so much, she tries to convince Brad Pitt to let her adopt him at the UNICEF Ball in Beverly Hills last night. Image via Getty]

• There's both good and bad news for Mischa Barton. The bad: She's reportedly drinking again and was seen "knocking back shots and drinking margaritas" earlier this week. (As you may remember, that sort of behavior led Mischa to spend some time in the hospital this past summer.) The good news: She supposedly looked "healthy" and "in control" while doing it, so it should be a few months before she hits bottom again and is forced to make a return trip. [P6]
• Think a good thought for Madonna. Louis Vuitton has decided to drop Madge as the face of the brand and replace her with 25-year-old supermodel Lara Stone. [Sun]
• The last 24 hours of Tiger: Holly Sampson, the porn star who had been suspected of having a tryst with Tiger, confirmed the rumor yesterday; meanwhile, Hollywood madam Michelle Braun says Woods spent $60,000 on hookers between 2006 and 2007, was into the "college cutie, girls-next-door look," and was a fan of three-ways, too. Luckily for Tiger, the reports about his dozen or so mistresses (and all the kinky specifics) may not spell disaster for his marriage to Elin Nordegren. Several tabloids report that Woods has come clean to Elin about "all" of his misbehavior in recent days and she's planning to stay with him.

• It looks like Tiger Woods' wife has had enough. Elin Nordegren moved out of the couple's Florida home yesterday and is staying at another home nearby. It doesn't look like she's planning to come back. Swedish news outlets are reporting that she paid $2.3 million to buy a house in in Sweden last week. [Radar, NYDN, NYP]
• Another 911 call was received from Tiger Woods' house last night. It's still unclear what happened, but an ambulance transported a middle-aged woman to the hospital and a "blonde woman" reportedly followed behind in an Escalade. One possibility is that it was Elin Nordegren's mom, who flew to the U.S. last week to be with her daughter. [TMZ, Radar]
• Yet another Woods mistress may be getting ready to come forward. And this one's claiming she has cell phone photos of Tiger's nether regions. Playgirl says it's is in the process of "authenticating" the pics to make sure it's him. How it plans to do that is unclear, although there are nine women (and counting) who should be able to help, presumably. [Us]
• Uma Thurman and fiancé Arki Busson have called it quits. And Bernie Madoff may be partly to blame. The Swiss financier reportedly lost a bundle investing with Madoff, and that may have put a strain on the relationship. [NYP]

Angelina's secret second family: seven Muslim children, and a wife. Lady Gaga spawns jokes about old queens, Suri Cruise goes glam like never before, Tiger Woods' wife buys a mansion in Sweden. Tuesday gossip keeps coming back for more.

Blending accent, appearance and mannerisms, actors transform into different characters like an oversized fleshy chameleon. When they fail at this task—their only task—we reserve the right to mock them. By compiling a video of their ineptitude.

• Although Tiger Woods and his wife remain "in seclusion" at their home in Florida (and are supposedly involved in "intense" marital counseling sessions), their lawyers are still ironing out a revised pre-nup. One report suggests Woods would pay his wife $5 million immediately and then $55 million if she stays with him for another two years; all she'd have to do is suck up any semblance of pride and sign a nondisclosure agreement. Meanwhile, sources indicate that Tiger was working on a deal to pay Rachel Uchitel $1 million to keep her trap shut, she hasn't taken any money from him (yet), and canceled her press conference yesterday because she was "scared for her safety." What else do we know? That Tiger is painfully insecure about his tiny calves, for one thing.
• In an interview with Glamour, Sarah Jessica Parker says she has "enormous regrets" about filming the Sex and the City sequel since because she didn't want to miss being home with her two baby daughters for one moment. Let's all hope the millions she makes from the movie more than makes up for it. [Us]
• Is 15-year-old Tallulah Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) dating 16-year-old Patrick Schwarzenegger (son of Arnold and Maria)? Possibly, although Bruce's rep is now denying it. [P6]

• Tiger Woods hasn't spoken to the cops or the media since he crashed his SUV into a tree outside his Florida home on Friday morning, although he did release a statement on his website yesterday. Did the crash take place as Tiger was running away from his enraged wife? Did Tiger really have an affair with club promoter (and 9/11 widow) Rachel Uchitel? That's all up in the air at the moment, although Uchitel has already hired spotlight-loving lawyer Gloria Allred to represent her, so you can expect this story to play on for weeks to come. [NYP, TMZ, TMZ]
• The fame-seeking classy couple who crashed the state dinner last week, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, are looking for a six-figure fee to tell their story, according to TV producers. A spokesman for the couple says that's totally false. Decide for yourself who you'd like to believe. [NYT, NYP, NYDN]
• Did Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal break up? A "close friend" of the actress says yes, but the couple is denying it. [People]
• Tinsley Mortimer may have a German prince for a boyfriend and she may be traipsing around town with Constantine Maroulis, but she's still got her ex-husband, Topper, wrapped around her finger. They reportedly talk three times a day and he's offered to appear on her reality show to help boost buzz. They may even get back together "for ratings," according to a source. [P6]

Problems of Brad Pitt, Part 2. Can he live? No. The New York Post reports on a book coming out detailing Brad Pitt's recent troubles. Among them: Brangalina's divorce-bound, because Angelina Jolie's psychotic. Also: Jennifer Aniston's totally a paranoid stoner.

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's charitable foundation handed out $6.4 million last year, or about three times what the CEOs of Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan, Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon, gave away last year put together. The beneficiaries of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation are below.

Sometimes in the movie business you have to work hard for your publicity and sometimes you can just let the world know the buffet is open and start serving.

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

Beyonce and Lady Gaga leak a clip from their forthcoming music video; Levi Johnston disguises himself as the Unabomber; at least one member of Congress thinks Carrie Prejean should run for office. Welcome to Tuesday's gossip.

Four babies later, Klum continues to be unreasonably sexy; Lindsay Lohan had a "meltdown" after getting caught stealing champagne; Flavor Flav produces a Super Bowl ad. Come be blinded by the light of a thousand Monday gossips.

• Did you catch dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean's hissy fit on Larry King Live last night? It was awkward TV at its finest. [TMZ, YouTube]
• Mike Tyson had a meltdown of his own yesterday. When a paparazzo got a little too close for comfort at LAX, Tyson dropped the photog to the floor with one punch to the face. Both men were later arrested. [LAT, NYDN]
• The latest recorded phone call courtesy of Michael Lohan has Dina Lohan telling her ex that "time is running out" for Lindsay and she's started drinking again. As for how LiLo feels about having her dad air the family's dirty laundry: "My father knows nothing other than now to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." Lindsay is a normal person with a real job? Who'd have guessed? [Radar, MSNBC]
• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone were supposed to get married over the summer. But it never happened and now Martone says the couple's decided to wait until after the holidays to tie the knot. "Who wants to get married during a busy season like this? I don't want my friends having to use their lunch break to get me gifts." How thoughtful! [P6]