• Sad news for those of you who expected "Real Housewife" Luann de Lesseps to be with her count in shining armor forever. The couple is now splitting up, reportedly because the count is getting serious with an "Ethiopian woman in Geneva." On the plus side, Luann should be able to hold on to her title as "Countess," which is the only thing that matters anyway. [P6]
• Queen Latifah has been sued by her former "beauty and style consultants" for not paying $1 million in fees. [NYP]
• Jennifer Lopez brought 11 pieces of luggage with her on her weekend trip to Japan. Even worse: They were of the cheap, non-designer variety. [DM]
• Soho House is kicking out the finance-types and says it plans to get back to its "artsy roots." Good luck with that. [P6]

Mickey Rourke dates strange ladies, Frankie Delgado is a jerk, and so much celebrity-baby news that you might just never want to have a baby yourself, thus ending the human race. And on a Monday!

• The Jeremy Piven sushi drama just won't quit. Piven's dispute with producers over his decision to leave the cast of Speed-the-Plow will now be heard by an arbitrator in June. But Piven doesn't seem too worried: He says he's "looking forward to testifying," since President Obama recently described mercury poisoning as "the world's gravest chemical problem." [Reuters, Us, TMZ]
• Sean Penn and Natalie Portman were supposedly spotted "making out" at the Sunset Tower Hotel earlier this month. At least that's what the Star says. [Star]
• Are David Duchovny and Tea Leoni getting back together? They were spotted "canoodling" on the beach in Mustique. [NYDN]
• Scarlett Johansson is on a "rigid diet" at the moment. She's also the "new muse" of Moet & Chandon, just so you know. [P6, WWD]

• Things aren't looking up for Damon Dash. He's lost a fortune recently and is buried under a mountain of debt. Now it looks like he's losing his wife, too: Rachel Roy just slapped the hip hop mogul with divorce papers. [NYDN]
• David Letterman and his longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko got married last week. [NYP, Us]
• Courtenay Semel, daughter of media mogul Terry Semel and occasional girlfriend of Casey Johnson, has checked into rehab. [P6]
• The real reason behind Jen Aniston and John Mayer's split? Jen was supposedly sick of his "obsession" with Twitter. Naturally. [Sun, Telegraph]

Our friend Arthur Kade is moving up in the world! Philly's most inane John Fitzgerald Page knockoff is in a movie with Angelina Jolie. Eh, Arthur Kade has fucked hotter chicks:

[Actress Angela Joleman filming the movie "Salt" in New York today; image via Splash]

Barry Diller riding his bike around town yesterday ... Rachel Weisz walking in the East Village ... Mario Batali hanging out with son Benno in the Village ... Dustin Hoffman and his daughter shopping in Soho ...Tobey Maguire pushing daughter Ruby in a stroller down Fifth Avenue ... Brad Pitt taking Pax and Maddox to lunch at Mars 2112 in Times Square ... Russell Brand shopping in SoHo ... Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger walking downtown ... Hugh Jackman tossing around a ball in the Village ... Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars shopping on Madison Avenue ... Angelina Jolie shooting scenes for Salt outside St. Barth's Church on Park ... Fergie leaving a building in Midtown ... Taylor Momsen standing on the set of Gossip Girl ... Alec Baldwin leaving the Waverly Inn ... and Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyonce and Brandy going to dinner at the Spotted Pig.

• Did Kelly Killoren Bensimon ask her boyfriend to lie about getting beat up so she could use it as a PR ploy to "better her chances of being asked back" on Real Housewives next season? That's what her bitchy co-stars are saying as part of a PR ploy to get the attention turned back on themselves. [NYDN]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder is being sued by Taylor Stein, who gave birth to his baby in 2007, for stopping child support payments. [P6]
• In an interview with Matt Lauer, Michael Phelps says he made a "bad mistake" in South Carolina, although he's still not saying what this mistake was. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan has settled the lawsuit filed by a woman whose $11,000 coat LiLo took from 1OAK last year. Also: She left her poor bodyguard stranded in Las Vegas earlier this week. [P6, P6]

• What's Ashley Dupre been up to recently? She's been doing lots of yoga, which she credits with saving her life. And it also introduced her to Russell Simmons, who is now her "mentor" and is making her feel more "liberated." Is that the term they use these days? [P6]
• LiLo and Sam Ronson got in another fight outside a club. This one was caught on tape, however. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel may be engaged. [NYDN]
• Breaking! George Clooney got drunk at a bar St. Louis last weekend. [NYDN]

[Film actress Angelina Jolie with her body double on the set of the motion picture "Salt" in Washington, District of Columbia today; image via INF]

[Angelica Growly filming her new movie 'Salt' in our nation's capital today; image via INF]

• Lindsay Lohan says she wants to convert to Judaism so she can "prove her commitment" to girlfriend Sam Ronson. She even went to the great trouble of updating her Facebook status to "I'm converting." [Daily Mail, P6]
• Katie Holmes looked "gaunt and tired" at an LA restaurant over the weekend. It could just be the elaborate security precautions wearing her down: Tom's security detail insisted on "sweeping" the eatery before anyone sat down to eat. [NYDN, MSNBC]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna have left Miami for LA and are now staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. The public outrage over the reconciliation continues, though. [E!, LAT, OK!, People]
• Jimmy Fallon looked a bit "awkward" and "stiff" when his talk show made its debut last night with guests Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake. [Us]

Cameron Diaz getting in a cab ... Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo walking out of a restaurant on Madison ... Alec Baldwin arriving at JFK ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her townhouse on Charles Street ... Katie Holmes standing on the set of The Extra Man in Chelsea ... Fran Drescher leaving the Empire Hotel ... Ed Westwick eating a candy bar on the Gossip Girl set ... and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt leaving The Little Mermaid on Broadway with their kids in tow.

Megan Fox and her fiance, David from 90210, have broken up. Sad news—especially since Fox has her now-ex's name permanently tattooed on her body. Which other celebrities have made the same mistake?

• Winners and losers at the Oscars, including the boring (Angelina), controversial (Tilda), and just plain bad (Beyoncé). [NYT, Telegraph, W, FWD]
• It wasn't the Oscars, but Michelle Obama sparkled last night in a sequined number for the National Governor's Association dinner. [NYM]
• A roundup of 15 top looks from New York Fashion Week. [Pipeline]
• There appear to be some fresh signs of trouble at Barneys. [Racked]
• More on what you can expect to see when Running in Heels debuts. [WSJ]
• Not surprisingly, the fashion job market isn't exactly thriving. [NYP]
• A roundup of what you've been missing at London Fashion Week. [Vogue UK]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer made their first awards show appearance together at last night's Oscars, sitting just 12 seats away from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, although they managed to avoid a run-in by skipping the red carpet and showing up at different pre-show parties over the weekend. [People, NYDN]
• Uma Thurman, Darren Aronofsky, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, and Daniel Craig all skipped out of the show early to head over to the Vanity Fair bash, where Graydon Carter invited Chesley Sullenberger and his wife Lori as surprise guests. [LAT, P6]
• Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise had an awkward encounter at CAA head Bryan Lourd's house party on Friday night, while Oprah and Gayle King held court at Barry Diller and Diane von Furstenberg's pre-Oscars bash, and everyone "partied like it was 1999" at Harvey Weinstein's gathering. [P6, P6, Fox 411]
• At the Spirit Awards on Saturday, Mickey Rourke "playfully mauled" Rachel Weisz and "made a grab" at Jessica Alba's chest. [People, NYDN]
• A full list of Oscar winners, in case you missed the action last night. [People]

As soon as the couple gets within range, the network will presumably deploy Jennifer Aniston as a sort of celebrity Hellfire missile. Click for full-sized image.

Barack Obama's people might throw East Coast media elite parties at the Four Seasons, but they totally make up for it with that penny-pinching cabinet member from Kansas.

• Bruce Wasserstein has been keeping busy. In between splitting up with his third wife and marrying his fourth, he found the time to have a baby with a recent Columbia Business School grad, with whom he's now sharing custody of a 10-month-old girl. [P6]
• The LAPD have launched an investigation into who leaked a confidential photo of a battered and bruised Rihanna to TMZ. [TMZ, E!]
• Whitney Port said this week that Olivia Palermo can be "very difficult to worth with," and that she occasionally wants to "slap her." Join the club. [AH]
• Madonna is reportedly planning to use the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday to introduce Jesus Luz to the world as her new boyfriend. [OK!]
• Portia De Rossi is reportedly preparing to undergo IVF so she and Ellen DeGeneres can have a baby. [SFGate]

• Hope you're sitting down for this one. Donald Trump Jr. and his wife Vanessa had a baby yesterday. It was a boy. And he will now bear a burden for the rest of his life: His parents named him Donald J. Trump III. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan is launching a self-tanning line called Stay Gold. Finally! [NYDN]
• "Real Housewife" Bethenny Frankel was spotted using coupons at a hair salon. [P6]
• After dating for about half a century, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart may finally be ready to get hitched. [Cindy Adams]
• Please note that Walter Cronkite is not related to social/art scenester Kipton Cronkite, despite his claims to the contrary. [P6]