It's semi-official: Katie Couric is leaving as the CBS Evening News anchor. Although only old people watch evening newscasts, the position still carries a definite cultural cachet. Who's next? We handicap, below.

Pants are too droopy, no one dresses up anymore, boys are dressed like girls, girls are dressed with boys. No, these aren't the latest posts on the Things Old People Like To Complain About Tumblr page. They're the complaints gossip dowager Cindy Adams included in a screed about Manhattan street style today:

Today I read with relish that Grant Show, the former Melrose Place hottie who is having a bit of a career resurgence lately, will have a role on USA's Burn Notice. Thank God Grant is back, because he's only gotten hotter with time. And he's not the only one.

Anderson Cooper was one of the grand masters of the Endymion parade yesterday, one of the largest in New Orleans annual Mardi Gras celebration. But he couldn't do it alone. No, he brought his "companion" along for the ride.

David Barton Gym, the very fancy (and very gay) discotechque/gym chain, is $65 million in debt and bankrupt. The company signed a deal to remain open, though, so Anderson Cooper still has a place to work on those guns.

Tonight, Anderson Cooper—fresh from his headline-grabbing Egypt trip—stopped by the Late Show to chat with David Letterman about being beaten up by an angry, pro-Mubarak mob. "I don't recommend it," said Cooper. Neither do we. Leave Andy alone!

Brace yourself for the worst news to come out of Egypt since Anderson Cooper got beat up: "It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave #Egypt [...] It was a hard decision to leave." [@andersoncooper]

Re-energized protesters kept up the pressure on Hosni Mubarak in the 11th day of massive demonstrations across Egypt today. The violence of the past two days seems to have abated, and prominent government figures have taken to the streets.

Tonight, Jon Stewart broke down the latest developments (well, as of this afternoon) in the Egypt situation, from President Hosni Mubarak's defiant speech, to the recent outbreak of violence by pro-Mubarak thugs, to the attack on Anderson Cooper, and more!

CNN has aired video of the assault on CNN anchor Anderson Cooper and his crew by pro-Mubarak protesters.

Egypt's pro-Mubarak thugs are just wailing on America's anchors. ABC's Christiane Amanpour is the latest, joining Anderson Cooper and Katie Couric: "The mob chased [her crew] into the car shouting that they hate America" and smashed the windshield. Who's next?

CNN's Anderson Cooper and his camera crew were attacked and repeatedly punched by pro-government forces near Tahrir Square in Cairo today. [Updated with video]

Today Page Six referred to Anderson Cooper's boyfriend Benjamin Maisani as his "companion." Previously the gossip column called him a "friend." An upgrade! Next week they'll be "roommates." But at least we're on track to calling a spade a spade.

No, you won't be having another of your Anderson Cooper-as-God fantasies when you go see How to Succeed in Business... on Broadway this spring and hear the silver fox's voice. The CNN anchor is providing the show's prerecorded narration.

Regis Philbin, venerable 79-year-old host of Live! and other gigs, announced today that he'll be retiring either at the end of the summer or sometime in the fall. Live! cohost Kelly Ripa will eventually be joined by a new partner.

On tonight's AC360, Anderson Cooper interviewed Bill Maher about Saturday's deadly Arizona shooting. After Cooper asked him if right-wing politicians/pundits can be blamed for it, Maher came out swinging—and even directly compared Glenn Beck to shooter Jared Loughner.

What we got from this profile of Bravo executive Andy Cohen in the Times today is that he basically is like the kid brother to every celebrity on Earth. He just goes around and makes them feel like normal people!

Since Regis Philbin is so old he can barely make it through the work week, Live! often has celebrity co-hosts. Kelly Ripa was excited to have NPH, who fired back "why don't you not have Anderson Cooper come so often?"

For two weeks, Anderson Cooper is taking over Larry King's old CNN time slot. Tonight, during a chat with Joy Behar, Phyllis Diller, Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers, Cooper admitted his love for Oprah Winfrey and OWN's programming. Watch inside.

Tonight, Dr. Sanjay Gupta hosted Anderson Cooper 360 in Cooper's stead. After Cooper sees the way Gupta began things, however, he may not ask him back. Inside, watch Gupta accidentally call Cooper a pedophile during a segue gone horribly awry.