americas-screaming-conscience

The Anti-Obama 'Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln’ Ad Campaign Would've Been The Funniest Shit Ever

Mobutu Sese Seko · 05/18/12 12:32PM

Yesterday morning, the New York Times reported on a super-PAC plan submitted to Joe Ricketts, founder of TD Ameritrade and owner of the Chicago Cubs. Entitled, "The Defeat of Barack Hussein Obama: The Ricketts Plan to End His Spending for Good," it proposed a $10 million series of ads tying Obama to Reverend Jeremiah Wright. By early afternoon, Ricketts had abandoned the plan outright.

Bullies For Life: The GOP's Ongoing Game of Smear The Queer

Mobutu Sese Seko · 05/11/12 12:57PM

Yesterday the Washington Post reported that, when he attended prep school, Mitt Romney mocked and assaulted students suspected of being gay. Call me a cynic, but I expect more from America's future sociopaths. When stories come out about non-consensual masturbation or the younger, feminine boys being expected to "do mouth stuff" on the seniors ("But no queer business or nothin'!") then it's a prep school scandal.

Mitt Romney and the GOP's Treason Whack-a-Mole

Mobutu Sese Seko · 05/09/12 03:10PM

Even for conservatives, the Mitt Romney campaign provides a meeting point between high finance and low expectations. Now that the GOP nomination is all but officially wrapped up, Mitt is free to shake the Etch-a-Sketch, tack to the center and betray the perfectly reasonable people who wear felt hats, stockings and breeches to point out the villainy of, say, Head Start.

Mitt Romney's Case Against a Mitt Romney Presidency

Mobutu Sese Seko · 05/03/12 12:30PM

It's about as easy to lose track of Mitt Romney's political gaffes as it is to lose track of the number of drinks you've had during a beer pong tournament. Their pace is relentless, both are sort of shamefully satisfying, and ultimately they make your head hurt.

Winning the War Against Yesterday: Mike O'Hanlon's Afghan Mad Libs

Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/20/12 12:15PM

Eight days ago, the Wall Street Journal published another column promising a "stable Afghanistan" from the Brookings Institution's Michael O'Hanlon. It might as well have been assembled by playing Powerball. O'Hanlon cranks the hopper, opens the little cage and out comes another bromide: "Closer"! "Accomplishing"! "Goals"! "Exit Strategy"!

Romney and Bibi: Middle East Policy By Two Best Buds Walkie-Talkiing After Bedtime

Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/17/12 02:38PM

Two Sundays ago, the New York Times ran an article about Mitt Romney and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The two have known each other for about 35 years. They went through Boston Consulting Group's "boot camp" together. They "can almost speak in shorthand." They finish each other's sentences and once accidentally ate from opposite ends of the same long strand of spaghetti. Their lives are an endless geopolitical meet-cute: Romney wants to run the nuclear big-box store of the United States, but he has enough love in his heart that he'd never crush the beautiful Middle Eastern shop around the corner.

The Dog Whistle Has Sounded: How the Right Talks About 'Thugs' Like Trayvon Martin

Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/05/12 11:57AM

On Sunday, Bill Kristol, chronically incorrect steward of his daddy's magazine movement, dismissed liberals' and black activists' outraged response to the Trayvon Martin killing as "just demagoguery... mostly on the side of those who want to indict the whole society for this death." The following day, Rush Limbaugh said the response was "doing more harm to the black community than anything else." How blessed the black community must feel to have their best interests overseen by the living embodiment of everything wrong with white people.

Hoodies, Strip Searches, and College: A Salad Bar of American Dread

Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/03/12 03:35PM

Even when one or two stories dominate a national news cycle, there are still thousands more circulating beneath them. Most of these are local, which is great luck for local journalists, who can use them to fend off angry senior-citizen complaints that nobody's explained why Dahlia's Café—the one with the all-afternoon early bird!—was replaced with a "Chipottle."

Dick's Got a New Heart: Why Cheney's Transplant Makes a Good Case For ObamaCare

Mobutu Sese Seko · 03/30/12 08:00AM

Last weekend, America's subterranean war monster, Lord Kinbote Dick Cheney, received a new heart from a Virginia hospital. Apparently, he even got it legally, although we'll never know if the hospital in question first deferred him five times. The right got a new faintly Obamacare-related talking point, and the left—even as it worried about the invalidation of the most important health care reform in generations—well, it didn't really get it at all.

Trayvon Martin: All This Has Happened Before and Will Happen Again

Mobutu Sese Seko · 03/20/12 02:30PM

Last night, the U.S. Justice Department announced that it would investigate the death of Trayvon Martin, after watching outrage build as Florida authorities appeared to do nothing for 23 days. The 17-year-old Martin was walking through a residential development in Sanford, Fla. and was chased down and shot by a 28-year-old man named George Zimmerman. If this sounds painfully familiar, it should.

White House Pours One Out for All the Dead Journos, Waterboards the Living

Mobutu Sese Seko · 03/15/12 02:00PM

The most recent article from The Nation's Jeremy Scahill profiled the imprisonment of Yemeni journalist Abdulelah Haider Shaye. For covering American cluster bomb strikes in Yemen and the radicalization of Yemeni citizens and their support for Al Qaeda, Shaye has been beaten and tortured, imprisoned for two years and, at America's request, seen a presidential pardon from Yemen's Ali Abdullah Saleh indefinitely tabled.

Andrew Breitbart: Big Deal, Big Coronary, Big Corpse

mobutu & Gen. Ze'evi · 03/06/12 03:50PM

Provocateur, website founder and collector of America's largest wads of spittle Andrew Breitbart died last Thursday morning, when some sentient shred of his cardiac organ kamikazed out of an exhausted sense of justice.