What's in Facebook's "Insider's Guide to Viral Marketing?" "Really nothing compelling," social media marketer Alisa Leonard tells us. "They basically expanded their online step by step business page sign up process and made understanding [Facebook] pages idiot proof (read: CMO-proof)." The reason why Facebook is pushing Facebook Pages: They're a key advertising feature whose launch was obscured by the privacy fracas over Beacon last fall. What would really have made it friendly to chief marketing officers: Trimming it down from 7,533 words. We've embedded the whole thing below, but first, read a 100-word version that could fit in your Facebook News Feed.

"I'm bored as fuck and jealous all those assholes are in Austin and I'm not," my colleague and professional troublemaker Richard Blakelely told me over the weekend. Social media minx Alisa Leonard concurred in a Twitter: "not at sxsw and feeling like everyone went to the prom besides me." My sentiments, exactly.