Real Housewife Alexis Bellino has got herself some new Orange Country digs, and it's pink and plastic-y like the lady herself.

If you thought you were annoyed by Bravo's endless cavalcade of big haired, bigger-titted, biggest mouthed ladies of the various Real Housewives franchises, just wait until you meet the Real Housewives of the Bible.

California crackpot Lou Balducci found the face of Jesus in one of his rotted, unusable rocking chairs earlier this year. Now he's doing what any good, respecting Christian would do to serve God: He's selling it. How much will they fetch?

Scarlett Johansson isn't pregnant, but maybe she wants to be? Matthew Perry returns to rehab. Lindsay Lohan hires a new publicist. (As if that will help.) Friday gossip is optimistic.

When the five horsewomen of the apocalypse finally bring about their Armageddon on the seven million families that live in gated communities, there will only be one thing left for us to remember them by: their stuff. Let's sift through the Real Housewives rubble.

Alexis Bellino, the newest cast member of The Real Housewives of Orange County, is continuing a grand Real Housewives tradition—she's using the show to try and shore up her husband's various business "interests."