Oh, glorious days of days! The sun fittingly shines upon our fair city in honor of movie god and new "father" Tom Cruise, who comes to Manhattan today to promote Mission: Impossible 3. A devoted Scientologist and/or reader scored a picture of Tom on his way in to Good Morning America, which kicks off a day of gallavanting about the island, via every possible mode of transportation, for three separate screenings of his film.
Because Americans love to be freaked out before they even have their morning coffee, Today show co-hosts Matt Lauer and Al Roker donned their skin-tight speed suits and embraced the double luge. Words can't quite convey the bizarre hilarity of Al laying down on top of Matt ("Am I supposed to lose circulation?" asks Lauer) and the two sliding down the luge track, screaming "whooo" at a pitch best fitting for a 14-year-old girl. But, as Lauer noted, "If you had Al on top of your groin, you'd squeal too." Or cry.
Tomorrow morning, lumped with the Today show's usual Olympic-related stunts and smiles, Matt Lauer and Al Roker will do the doubles luge. Because the bigger man must ride in front to reduce wind resistance, Roker will be the front driver on top.
We haven't watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on television for probably a solid two decades, but when we glanced at this morning's papers we began to regret avoiding the broadcast this year. There was, it seems, a "Holi-Daze" "Lights Out" at the parade yesterday, a "narrowly avoided" disaster that was caused when a giant (and, apparently, angry) M&M careened into a lamppost in Times Square and sent a 30-pound lighting fixture falling onto two sisters watching the parade below.
• Cocaine Kate is now Sober Kate, as the supermodel has been released from her paparazzi-hiding stint in rehab. Oh, Katie, New York is waiting for you with open arms. Come on home, sugarpie! [CNN]
• Today show weatherman Al Roker has been Googling himself on the matter of his fantastic on-air fall during Hurricane Wilma and is a tad defensive. Or maybe he's just misses eating entire sandwiches and has no choice but to blog his rage. [Al Roker]
• Making sure your Halloween costume is as gay as possible. [Manhattan Offender]
• The MTA wants to thank you, poor commuter, in some "small, insignificant way." [AP/NYDN]
• Imagine the fear of answering your phone to hear the voice of Harvey Weinstein telling you to vote for Bloomberg. That's exactly why we hate land lines. [Politicker]
• But what Lindsay Lohan really wants to do is direct. [MTV]
It's times like this that Dan Rather really misses his old life. A reader reports:
As if being the nation's most visible weatherman, writing cutesy tomes on the quirks of life and barbeque, acting as posterboy for the wonders of gastric bypass surgery, and maintaining a high-concept website weren't responsibility enough, Al Roker is now seeking further professional fulfillment. Roker's production company is making a dog reality show, in which cameras will "catch" dogs misbehaving, only to have celebrity dog-trainer Tamar Geller will step in to save the day. Sigh. Seeming to be a genuinely kind man, we feel a bit badly for Al, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions:
There's a highly sensitive feature on the Today show, where David Gregory is sitting down with 3 obese woman to talk about weight discrimination. After an intro video featuring folks around Rockefeller talking about how extremely overweight individuals strike them as lazy, we cut to the heavyset guests, one of whom looks so pissed that she might destroy everything in the studio. The segment is titled "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Fat," and as these woman sadly present their stories, we're left with a major question: Are we supposed to not hate them despite their being fat, or we shouldn't hate them specificially because they're fat?
Al Roker just declared the term "bootylicious" to be near and dear to co-host Alexis Glick. Natalie Morales jumps on the Embarassment Train and flat out refers to the "Bootylicious Alexis Glick."
· Roc-A-Fella Records founder Damon Dash, apparently deciding he'd rather lose money than make it, is starting his own airline, and has already committed to retail space for the offices. [NY Daily News]
· Weatherman Al Roker's 15 year old daughter Courtney was caught smoking pot. [Ed. noteA teenager caught smoking pot...maybe if I say it out loud, it'll seem more scandalous...nope; didn't work.] [Page Six]
· Radar Editor Maer Roshan on Tina Brown: "Tina's a drag queen. She's pretty damn gay herself. She worked at Condé Nastdealing with gay people wasn't exactly like a new, daunting experience for her! I wrote my term paper on Tina in college. She's an icon, you know?" [Page Six]
The 646 Guy has taken a shot at a few of Musto's blind items. To Musto's question, "is it true about the weatherman and the baseball player?" he responds, "I dunno but can I watch? I'm going with (predictably) Sam Champion as the weatherman (although I wouldn't mind it being John Marshall from Channel 4 and I'm pretty certain it's not Al Roker). As for the baseball player, I could be trite and say Mike Piazza but I won't. I'm going to go with Jason Giambi just because I'm pretty damn sure it can't be him but a man has to dream."
